Hello!

[Edward Constance]

Hello my friends!

I am Edward Constance. I am currently a student at the University of Cambridge, and have only recently stumbled upon the word of God. I, therefore, hope that (as I am still reading the King James Bible) you will forgive me for not yet having a favourite passage.

I hope you don't mind me joining your forum, being in the United Kingdom and all (I gather this is a forum based in the United States?). It is difficult to find such things here - atheism is far more prevalent!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello!

Hello Mr. Constance, and welcome to our friendly forum! As you've just found the Holy Word of God, no doubt you must be thirsty for more and more! I imagine your studies will drop off any day now, and you'll be bumping into trees and other Godless Brits as you wander around campus with a Holy Bible under your nose, reading and absorbing the Truth found only therein!

Glory!

You might as well go ahead and pack your bags now, dear. There's no need for a high and mighty "education" from the secular institution that gave the world Charles Darwin. There's nothing you need to know about the world, life, people, what to do, how to serve our LORD that isn't in the pages of the Holy Bible!

Praise!

Then again, perhaps the LORD has called you to be a missionary among the moral savages there?

Ooh, how exciting!

I will pray for your Salvation!

[VictoryOS]

Re: Hello!

Greetings, Brother Edward! That is indeed a chilling tale of atheism. I pray that the Lord Jesus continues to hold you and guide you until you are able to secure passage to America.

Have you taken a wife and fathered children yet?

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Thank you for your welcome!

I have fought too long for a place at this university to give it up because of atheists. Even if the population of the university becomes 99.9% atheist, I will be proud of being the 0.1% Christian.

For reasons you have mentioned above, I spend much of my time in King's College Chapel when it is closed to the public. The Dean of the chapel is very friendly, and helps me to find God and stay happy in times of need.

Thank you for praying for me!

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Greetings, Brother Edward! That is indeed a chilling tale of atheism. I pray that the Lord Jesus continues to hold you and guide you until you are able to secure passage to America.

Have you taken a wife and fathered children yet?

Thank you for your welcome. I have not, as of yet, married or had children. Maybe soon, though!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Hello!

We are friendly here and all who come seeking fellowship with Christians are welcome, with the obvious exceptions, even the godless English. We have become aware, in recent years, that there are still a few Christian martyrs to be holding out in lonely vigil among the Muslims and tree worshippers of Europe. We have made contact with several of them through this forum. We pray that you are another.

Tell us your current favorite verse from the scriptures. There are so many good ones and a lot of them are right up front. I'm sure you've stumbled on a few. How do you protect yourself from the other godless English? Are you allowed a revolver? Tell us everything.

God Bless!

[Nobar King]

How does one 'stumble' upon the word of God?

(I) have only recently stumbled upon the word of God.

How does one 'stumble' upon the word of God? Are you still a soulless atheist or have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?

I'd like to know more about this.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hello!

...I spend much of my time in King's College Chapel when it is closed to the public. The Dean of the chapel is very friendly, and helps me to find God...

Careful, he's probably an Anglican (you know, those people with female bishops, in direct contradiction of the Bible's instructions), so his "help" in finding God should be accepted with wariness and suspicion.

I'll bet he even drives a Peugeot.

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Careful, he's probably an Anglican (you know, those people with female bishops, in direct contradiction of the Bible's instructions), so his "help" in finding God should be accepted with wariness and suspicion.

I'll bet he even drives a Peugeot.

Damn, you blew my cover! I am in fact not a christian (very much an atheist, and follow Richard Dawkins), I am a member of several skeptics societies, I do not go to the University of Cambridge, my name is not Edward Constance.

I joined this forum to see what the people were like, as religion of all types amuses me greatly. I fail to see how people can still completely believe what is put in the bible (incidentally, the greatest work of fiction to cover up "adultery" by the one you call Mary).

Atheists will prevail. Oh, and incidentally, the United Kingdom is far from a Muslim country, the same as the whole of Europe.

Long live the Queen!

PS. I drive a Ford Focus.

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Oh, and also, this forum is absolutely bonkers. How can you believe that down syndrome is a life style choice? How can you believe beating children is a good way to punish them?

Also:

IF YOU NEED THE FEAR OF A GOD IN YOU TO HAVE MORALS, YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PERSON.

Good day to you all

(All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his Noodly Appendages!)

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Noooo! My avatar! You monsters!

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Ah-HA! It's back!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Hello!

Noooo! My avatar! You monsters!

Son, do you think it is funny to ride rough shod over people's cherished beliefs?

You may not like Jesus but you have yet to mount a sound argument that there is not a creator and He is God.

If all that you have come to our humble forum for is to mock people different from you I cannot imagine that your mum would be proud of you.

A brutish man knoweth not; neither doth a fool understand this. - Psalms 92:6

All the best.

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Dear Edward Constance,

You have received an infraction at The Landover Baptist Church Forum.

Reason: Spamming God's favorite forum
-------
Mr. Sinner,

Please remember that you are our guest. We expect truthful and honest discussion and respect towards your betters, i.e., True Christians™. Trespasses may cause restrictions or removal of your posting privileges.

Thank you for your cooperation and have a swell day.

Yours in Christ!

:O

[Edward Constance]

Re: Hello!

Son, do you think it is funny to ride rough shod over people's cherished beliefs?

You may not like Jesus but you have yet to mount a sound argument that there is not a creator and He is God.

If all that you have come to our humble forum for is to mock people different from you I cannot imagine that your mum would be proud of you.

A brutish man knoweth not; neither doth a fool understand this. - Psalms 92:6

All the best.

Ok, I will be a bit more serious now to address these two issues.

Firstly, it is impossible for me to dislike someone who does not exist.
Secondly, the burden of proof states that it is for you to prove there is a god, not for me to prove there isn't one. Otherwise, please disprove that the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist, and that there isn't a massive unicorn with a rainbow horn furiously break-dancing on the other side of the moon.

I am not mocking you simply because you are different (and, I might just point out how you bash "heathens" on this fourm - they're just different, too). The reason I am mocking you is because your beliefs are so illogical, so unfounded, and with little evidence, yet you still base your entire life on it, and treat people differently because of it. Why?