[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: My Indtroduction

I feel so bad about the thing that these sinners just leave...and there is no possibility to contact them anymore. I mean, it would be so nice to have somebody there where they live, telling them every day how marvelous JESUS CHRIST is.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: My Indtroduction

Welcome, friend!

What's your favourite Biblical verse?

Brother Marko, you ought to make a post. Your post count spells the Devil's number; I was forced to immerse my phone in Holy Water after seeing it, and it seems my laptop will go the same fate. Cast the devil out of your profile! Let 1 Peter 5:8 guide you!

Dear Sweet Baby Jesus. What are you rabbiting on about? Holy Water? Are you a dirty whore mongering Papist? Get thee gone spawn of Satan.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: My Indtroduction

Hello everyone. My name is Sally Westfield. I'm a married (I have my husband's permission to use this website after finishing chores) Christian woman. I pray at the Carey Baptist Church. I am a full time housewife. Me and my husband have one child, who is 6 years old later this year. If I have missed any important information in this introduction, feel free to ask me. I will gladly answer then I will ensure that my husband gives me a strict flogging as punishment for my inferior womanly mind.

Praise God, Sally! I am always pleased when a woman of GOD joins our happy little family of welcoming, loving Christian Baptists! You will find the love of Jesus permeating every nook and cranny of these forums, since He ordained this ministry so many years ago and continues to bless and keep all of us in His Loving Arms. Our beloved pastor, Ezekiel Flint, is a true spokesperson for Christ. His ears are like Christ's Bluetooth. Every word Pastor speaks emanates from the vocal chords of Our Savior. GLORY!

Of course, you'll run across minions of the devil here, as they try to disrupt the work of God. They may as well give up, since the battle is already won. The devil is defeated, Christ is Exalted, and soon we will find ourselves in His bosom! May Christ bless your time here with us and may you grow in the Grace and Knowledge of OUR LORD! I shall add you to my electronic prayer list that continually displays in my well appointed prayer closet on a 70 inch flat screen monitor!

Yours in the love of Jesus,
NRL

PS: Have you arranged tithing to Landover yet? Don't tarry - the Lord is coming soon!

[FranklinAndPearl]

Re: My Indtroduction

Though I do wonder what would be a good means to exorcise my computer screen of the Devil's words and marks...

Hi, dear. How long has it been since your last reading of the Bible? Prayer would easily fix your worldly problems. John 15:7

Walking with Christ, Pearl

[CleanForChrist]

Re: My Indtroduction

Yes, I've been shown the error of my ways. I've spent a day in quiet contemplation in a room with nothing but myself, the Bible, and God guiding my thoughts. Once more has my zeal taken me to a slippery, catlick slope. I realize now that God only works through a chaste and pious mind (Psalms 111:2), and that learning is needed before one can truly be one with our Lord JESUS CHRIST. I take a moment to reflect on the goodness of this Forum to educate me, and pray that Divine Revelation will enter me lest I continue making a fool of myself (Proverbs 29:20).

Though I do wonder what would be a good means to exorcise my computer screen of the Devil's words and marks...

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: My Indtroduction

But of course not, dear Brother! Do you not baptize your little soldiers for Christ by washing them of their sins in a basin of water? I scrub my screen's sins off the same way! Unfortunately, it appears that the devil was too deeply entrenched in my device, as the device refused to work afterwards. All the better! I wouldn't want it to influence me in my daily life.

I'm thinking about investing in a JesOS PC. I've no doubt that its holy code will keep the mark of the Beast out of my circuits and out of my heart.

Friend Sally, I understand you're a woman, and as such are of inferior mental capacities to your masculine betters, but surely what little brain you have is devoted to memorizing the Bible? What is your favourite scripture, and how did you find Jesus?

You are full of wrong beliefs. Magic has nothing to do with JESUS. "holy water" does not exist. What next? Something about "holy mary"? REPENT!!!

[Basilissa]

Re: My Indtroduction

And how long are you planning to let them live in sin, go out to date Atheists, absorb dangerous "Facts" into their mind before showing them the glory of Lord JESUS CHRIST?

I have not yet been blessed with children, but when I am, I will know they are ready for JESUS when they are old enough to pronounce His name. Why would God ever let them speak it if they were not yearning for his embrace? Does Acts 2:39 not speak of this exact thing?

Well, basically, if the children die before they are old enough to love Jesus and understand and follow all of His commandments, then they go to Hell. It's their problem, and it's what Jesus wants.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: My Indtroduction

And how long are you planning to let them live in sin, go out to date Atheists, absorb dangerous "Facts" into their mind before showing them the glory of Lord JESUS CHRIST?

I have not yet been blessed with children, but when I am, I will know they are ready for JESUS when they are old enough to pronounce His name. Why would God ever let them speak it if they were not yearning for his embrace? Does Acts 2:39 not speak of this exact thing?

Salvation may only be achieved through a personal relationship with Jesus; that and you have to follow a lot of rules. One must understand who Jesus is and what He has brought to be able to make that alliance. Babies are primarily interested in their toes and, thus, unable to come to Jesus.

[CleanForChrist]

Re: My Indtroduction

Baptists only baptise those who are old enough to accept Jesus into their lives.

And how long are you planning to let them live in sin, go out to date Atheists, absorb dangerous "Facts" into their mind before showing them the glory of Lord JESUS CHRIST?

I have not yet been blessed with children, but when I am, I will know they are ready for JESUS when they are old enough to pronounce His name. Why would God ever let them speak it if they were not yearning for his embrace? Does Acts 2:39 not speak of this exact thing?

[Aholibah]

Re: My Indtroduction

But of course not, dear Brother! Do you not baptize your little soldiers for Christ by washing them of their sins in a basin of water?

Catlicks baptise little ones. Baptists only baptise those who are old enough to accept Jesus into their lives.

[CleanForChrist]

Re: My Indtroduction

But...wait a minute... what water? YOU ARE CATLICK???

But of course not, dear Brother! Do you not baptize your little soldiers for Christ by washing them of their sins in a basin of water? I scrub my screen's sins off the same way! Unfortunately, it appears that the devil was too deeply entrenched in my device, as the device refused to work afterwards. All the better! I wouldn't want it to influence me in my daily life.

I'm thinking about investing in a JesOS PC. I've no doubt that its holy code will keep the mark of the Beast out of my circuits and out of my heart.

Friend Sally, I understand you're a woman, and as such are of inferior mental capacities to your masculine betters, but surely what little brain you have is devoted to memorizing the Bible? What is your favourite scripture, and how did you find Jesus?

[Jim Farmer]

Re: My Indtroduction

The only thing I know about Reading is that the arch homersexuralist Oscar Wilde wrote a poem called The Ballad of Reading Gaol. Is Reading still full of gaysexurals?

[SallyWestfield]

Re: My Indtroduction

A good question, Brother Marko. And whenever someone says they have a "child", I can't help suspecting that it's a girl.

But welcome to our friendly forum, Sally. I notice that you use the phrase "Me and my husband" as the subject of a sentence in two of your posts. Is this usual in the local Reading dialect, or are you originally from a Cockney-speaking region?

Yes, it is often seen in the Reading dialect. Since Reading is fairly close to London, a lot of Cockney idioms can be found in there Reading dialect.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: My Indtroduction

Welcome then, Sally and God bless you for your tireless work among the heathen English. It is a pleasure to meet an actual English Christian. There are but few of you, as you must know. Most Englishmen who come here turn out to be heathens who seek to vex Christians. I feel you are not one of those. Do tell us more of your life in godless England. Are your neighbors dangerous? We hear much about your country. We know there are many attacks by heathen Muslims and that the streets are hazardous to walk. What revolver does your husband favor?

God Bless!

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: My Indtroduction

Welcome, friend!

What's your favourite Biblical verse?

Brother Marko, you ought to make a post. Your post count spells the Devil's number; I was forced to immerse my phone in Holy Water after seeing it, and it seems my laptop will go the same fate. Cast the devil out of your profile! Let 1 Peter 5:8 guide you!

THANK GOD BROTHER CLEAN!!!

THANK YOU FOR WARNING!

But...wait a minute... what water? YOU ARE CATLICK???