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  • FroYoInfo
    Unsaved trash, admitted retard
    • Apr 2015
    • 45
    #1

    Hello to landover.

    Hello, LBC. I am a man with ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder. I do not go to any church, as I am not Christian. I am not of a religion, but I wouldn't call myself athiest. I have many idols, and one of them is Jesus Christ. I also look up to other religious figures, like Confucius, and Buddha. I am not here to flame you. I am normally laid back and relaxed, but will get angry sometimes.
    Have a nice day.
    Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.
    Tags: None
    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29453
      #2
      Re: Hello to landover.

      Welcome friend. I am so happy you have decided to become a Christian and have the demons removed from your tormented worthless soul. Proof again being a retard is a choice, like being gay.
      Praise!
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • GOD=life
          WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
          True Christian™
          • Jan 2010
          • 3263
          #3
          Re: Hello to landover.

          Welcome to our friendly forum!

          Let me be the third to welcome you. Oh, you say, third? But isn't your reply the second? No! Jesus Christ is the first to welcome you and drive you to us.

          Don't worry, it's totally OK to test us Christians. It could well be possible that the purpose of your whole life is to test Christians, but maybe we can show you Christianity the proper way. It ain't what you see on Oprah!

          You're in for a wild ride, buckle up.
          I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

          Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
          Matthew 7:22           Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
          Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

          Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

            Comment

            • Alvin Moss
              Serving Jesus
              True Christian™
              • Aug 2013
              • 4468
              #4
              Re: Hello to landover.

              Originally posted by FoYoInfo View Post
              Hello, LBC. I am a man with ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder. I do not go to any church, as I am not Christian. I am not of a religion, but I wouldn't call myself athiest. I have many idols, and one of them is Jesus Christ. I also look up to other religious figures, like Confucius, and Buddha. I am not here to flame you. I am normally laid back and relaxed, but will get angry sometimes.
              Have a nice day.

              Your threats are not welcome, fellow. You have admitted to being an unsaved wretch and an idol worshipper and then you have tied to intimidate us with your angers and unnatural passions. We do not fear the likes of you. What do you want here?
              God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                Comment

                • GOD=life
                  WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                  True Christian™
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 3263
                  #5
                  Re: Hello to landover.

                  Originally posted by Alvin Moss View Post
                  What do you want here?
                  Perhaps, as a great philosopher once noted: you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need. What our friend needs is a KJV 1611 Bible.
                  I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                  Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                  Matthew 7:22                   Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                  Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                  Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                    Comment

                    • FroYoInfo
                      Unsaved trash, admitted retard
                      • Apr 2015
                      • 45
                      #6
                      Re: Hello to landover.

                      Originally posted by Alvin Moss View Post
                      Your threats are not welcome, fellow. You have admitted to being an unsaved wretch and an idol worshipper and then you have tied to intimidate us with your angers and unnatural passions. We do not fear the likes of you. What do you want here?
                      Threats? Intimidate? I am confused. All I did was welcome you.
                      I am only trying to be polite.
                      Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                        Comment

                        • FroYoInfo
                          Unsaved trash, admitted retard
                          • Apr 2015
                          • 45
                          #7
                          Re: Hello to landover.

                          Originally posted by FoYoInfo View Post
                          Threats? Intimidate? I am confused. All I did was welcome you.
                          I am only trying to be polite.
                          I had a typo. I meant introduce myself. I have no idea why I said welcome you. You are the ones welcoming me!
                          Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                            Comment

                            • Mary Etheldreda
                              Gushing for Jesus
                               
                              • Sep 2011
                              • 23775
                              #8
                              Re: Hello to landover.

                              Originally posted by FoYoInfo View Post
                              I had a typo. I meant introduce myself. I have no idea why I said welcome you. You are the ones welcoming me!
                              The important thing is that you've tuned into the Holy Ghost's gentle promptings to search your heart and confess your offenses against Him!
                              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                Comment

                                • GOD=life
                                  WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Jan 2010
                                  • 3263
                                  #9
                                  Re: Hello to landover.

                                  Originally posted by FoYoInfo View Post
                                  I have no idea why I said welcome you.
                                  Is this one of those relativity jokes? Like: Einstein is in a train to Oxford and then he asks the machinist: "when does Oxford station arrive at this train?"
                                  I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                                  Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                                  Matthew 7:22                                   Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                                  Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                                  Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                                    Comment

                                    • FroYoInfo
                                      Unsaved trash, admitted retard
                                      • Apr 2015
                                      • 45
                                      #10
                                      Re: Hello to landover.

                                      Originally posted by GOD=life View Post
                                      Is this one of those relativity jokes? Like: Einstein is in a train to Oxford and then he asks the machinist: "when does Oxford station arrive at this train?"
                                      No... It was a mental error during the typing of my post.
                                      Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                                        Comment

                                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                           
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 78556
                                          #11
                                          Re: Hello to landover.

                                          Originally posted by FroYoInfo View Post
                                          No... It was a mental error during the typing of my post.
                                          Dear Retard;

                                          Why are you here? This is a Christian forum. For normal people.

                                          YIC,

                                          --Pastor Ezekiel


                                          PS. If you are truly interested in finding Salvation, I suggest you order this book. It is available on Amazon.

                                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                            Comment

                                            • FroYoInfo
                                              Unsaved trash, admitted retard
                                              • Apr 2015
                                              • 45
                                              #12
                                              Re: Hello to landover.

                                              It seems I have gained much negative reputation. May I ask: Why? I'm sorry if I offended anyone by what I said. Please forgive me. I am just a peace loving guy here that wants to make friends with a wide range of people, including the Christians at Landover. I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot.
                                              Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                                                Comment

                                                • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                   
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 78556
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Hello to landover.

                                                  Originally posted by FroYoInfo View Post
                                                  It seems I have gained much negative reputation. May I ask: Why? I'm sorry if I offended anyone by what I said. Please forgive me. I am just a peace loving guy here that wants to make friends with a wide range of people, including the Christians at Landover. I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot.
                                                  Listen gimp; If you think that you can avoid eternal damnation and enter Heaven by being a "nice guy," then you're wronger than wrong can be. Take a look at my Sermon on the subject HERE.
                                                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Didymus Much
                                                      Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                                                      • Jun 2010
                                                      • 14079
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Hello to landover.

                                                      Originally posted by FroYoInfo View Post
                                                      It seems I have gained much negative reputation. May I ask: Why?...
                                                      For saying you idolize Jesus while refusing to listen to what He tells us in the Bible.

                                                      ...I am just a peace loving guy here that wants to make friends with a wide range of people, including the Christians at Landover...
                                                      That's nice, but the Bible tells the faithful not to be friends with non-Christians.

                                                      2 Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

                                                      It tells them to try as hard as they can to convince you to accept Jesus' temporary sacrifice:

                                                      2 Timothy 4:2 "Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine."

                                                      But if it doesn't work, give up and try the next guy/house/town:

                                                      Mark 6:11 "And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear you, when ye depart thence, shake off the dust under your feet for a testimony against them. Verily I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrha in the day of judgment, than for that city."

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Faith_Machine
                                                          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          • Mar 2011
                                                          • 10050
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Hello to landover.

                                                          Hello, my impressionable, mentally weak, vulnerable, young, new friend!

                                                          I take it your username means you can provide us with information about frozen yogurt. Do you work at a frozen yogurt stand? Isn't it wonderful how God has blessed us with a country where everybody can find a job where they're able to contribute at their own level?

                                                          I'm sure selling frozen yogurt is all you can ever hope to do, and that is OK!

                                                          Isn't God wonderful?
                                                          WARNING:
                                                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                                                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                                                            Comment

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