Hello, everyone!

[rambunctious Alex]

Greetings, my brothers and sisters in Christ! I'm so happy God has finally answered my prayers and helped me to find this Godly community! I've been looking for a true church for a long time! Travelling all these years around the world and looking for True Christians! And I've finally found you on this lovely forum! Here with you I feel myself at home. I'm so sick of these pseudo-christians who mock God by picking up from the Bible the verses they like and then preaching only these parts of the Bible in their Satan's churches! Isn't it said in the Bible 2 Timothy 3:1:All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness!!! Why don't you quote this, you liberal fucks! You all gonna burn on hell for this! You don't know who you're messing with! You're messing with ou Lord Jesus Christ and He will damn you for that! Revelations 22:19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
So, you see now my new brothers and sisters in Christ how horrible it is for a True Christian to live in the word of sin between unbelievers and pseudo-christians! Not a single word can be taken out of Bible (unless you want to go to hell)! And that's why I think that Landover Baptist Church is the right place for me! I've got no desire to go to hell whatsoever! Not like all those homers and retards who chose their sinful lifestyles over the eternal life in Heaven with Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ! Please accept me into your community!

[Roland]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Hello rambunctious,

Welcome to this forum. Can you tell us what church you go to, what your favourite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus? The True Christians want to know this, that is why they put these questions in the introduction forum description you see at the top of this page.

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Here's a few of my favourite Bible verses:
Leviticus 24:16
And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death.

Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

John 8:7
So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Proverbs 3:7
“Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”

I don't go to any church at the moment, because I couldn't find any church that would suit me, until I came across Landover Baptist Church!
How I came to find Jesus? I didn't find Him! Jesus came to find me! And I simply couldn't resist Him! I've read all the Gospels many times over and over again and I couldn't find any fault in Him!
Everything he did was done with such uprightness, wisdom, holiness and gentleness that nothing faulty or distorted could be found in Him! How can anyone not to believe in Him???!!! I simply can not understand...

[Gregory Mitch]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Welcome to our Godly forum, friend! Do you have a wife? If so, how many children has she given to you?

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

No, God has not given me wife yet. But I keep myself pure and pray everyday for God to give me a wife and at least 3-5 kids(4 boys and 1 girl preferably).

[GOD=life]

Re: Hello, everyone!

No, God has not given me wife yet. But I keep myself pure and pray everyday for God to give me a wife and at least 3-5 kids(4 boys and 1 girl preferably).

I have a good feeling about our new friend here.

Welcome, chap!

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Thank you, brother! I'm so happy to be here!

[Regis Alexandrus]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Have you had any experiences with happy-slappy seeker-sensitive (Satan-serving) so-called churches?

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Of course I did! And I was really disgusted with it! Those perverts are going straight to hell for twisting the Holy Scriptures of the Bible and their homer ways of praising the Lord!
Here, on Landover Baptist Church forum I found a very good teaching on how we (True Christians) should praise our Lord and I completely 100% agree with it!

https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=1348&highlight=matter

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Hello, everyone!

No, God has not given me wife yet. But I keep myself pure and pray everyday for God to give me a wife and at least 3-5 kids(4 boys and 1 girl preferably).

So you are unmarried? Welcome to our friendly forums

MISS Naomi Ruth Lamb
Talented Cook, Devoted Daughter of Christ, Future Helpmeet

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Do you have a name, son? How old are you, and where do you hail from? What Church were you raised in?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

es, I am unmarried. For many years I was unable to find myself a proper wife. But now I'm spending twice as much time in my prayer closet praying to God to give me a True Christian wife that I have no doubts it will happen soon!

Luke 18:27 And He said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

I'm sure there should be a plenty of young virgins for a TrueChristian like me to choose from in this Godly Community!

[Shad and Deb Lamb]

Re: Hello, everyone!

es, I am unmarried. For many years I was unable to find myself a proper wife. But now I'm spending twice as much time in my prayer closet praying to God to give me a True Christian wife that I have no doubts it will happen soon!

Luke 18:27 And He said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

I'm sure there should be a plenty of young virgins for a TrueChristian like me to choose from in this Godly Community!

Rambunctious,

First of all, you may not refer to yourself as a True Christian until that decision has been made after a thorough determination by the Department of Faith. It simply isn't yours to decide.

Please do respond to pastor's questions about your name, age and also, if you wouldn't mind, your annual income and credit rating. I would like to point out that the beautiful young lady that responded to you above is our lovely and wifely Naomi Ruth. Anyone here can tell you about her in greater detail. I won't brag since Jesus wouldn't like that.

In prayer,
Deborah and Shadrach

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

[QUOTE=Pastor Ezekiel;1143864]Do you have a name, son? How old are you, and where do you hail from? What Church were you raised in?



Hello, Pastor Ezekiel!I am so delighted to hear from you! My name is Alex and I'm 30 years old. I've already went through " "Noobs" please read this before posting." and I can honestly say that I know all that by heart already! It took me a while though to learn all my rights on this forum... There's so many of them!
I've been through many churches but I haven't yet found a right one for myself until I came across Landover Baptist Church!
I am a citizen of the world and I can be anywhere anytime! I myself don't know where I'm gonna be tomorrow . . . God only knows that! (You can always ask Him if you really interested in it!)
Luke 9:58
Jesus said unto him, Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay his hea

[rambunctious Alex]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Rambunctious,

First of all, you may not refer to yourself as a True Christian until that decision has been made after a thorough determination by the Department of Faith. It simply isn't yours to decide.

Please do respond to pastor's questions about your name, age and also, if you wouldn't mind, your annual income and credit rating. I would like to point out that the beautiful young lady that responded to you above is our lovely and wifely Naomi Ruth. Anyone here can tell you about her in greater detail. I won't brag since Jesus wouldn't like that.

In prayer,
Deborah and Shadrach

I apologise for calling myself a True Christian before it's been determined by Department of Faith!
As you know I'm new here, so it may take a while for me to learn all the rules!
I've already answered all the Pastor Ezekiel's questions and I wouldn't mind to let you know my annual income and credit rating!
I wouldn't even mind to give you all my online banking logins and passwords so you could see it for yourselves!(You can always trust to Godly people with anything!)
But with my super high income and insane credit rating I'm afraid it would be bragging!
And I won't brag cause Jesus doesn't like that!;-)