[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

That is thin ice. Are you sure you want to go there?

No, I am not. I open myself to clarity however and will give myself fully to whatever provides it.

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

Hello rather bland and almost homely Commie Canooktress, and welcome to God's favorite forum.


1. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ ascended into heaven physically. His body was missing from his tomb (absolute proof of His resurrection as well!) and Thomas was able to touch Him physically.


B. Technically, God leaves it to we puny mortals to put to death those who work on the Sabbath as per Exodus 31:15. Seeing as you are from a Godless, Communist state, no doubt your lawmakers wipe their nethers with those Hallowed rules, so you are safe for the moment. God might be willing to forgive you if you repent, embrace Him and His Loving Rules, and tithe regularly and generously to one of His favorite churches.


C. God is male because God is perfect, and the male form was created in His image. Really now, what kind of a perfect God would go around oozing unclean issues every month?


4. 1 Corinthians 15:35-49 explains to us that God will bestow upon His Chosen Few a heavenly body which is different from our earthly body. An imperishable, glorious, powerful body. Presumably then, the few women who manage to slip through the gates will no longer have unclean episodes-and will likely be without vocal chords.


I hope this answers your questions and helps guide you toward the Light that is Jesus Christ. God bless!

To some degree yes, you have answered my questions. Some clarification if you please?

1. All but one of the many Pharoes were missing from their tombs as well. Proof they ascended to Heaven in physical form? I dare say no. Grave robbing was a very lucrative industry in days past. I am not saying it did not happen as you say, but a missing body is hardly proof of what you claim. Why did he ascend to Heaven? How long did he stay after his Resurrection until this time? We could surely still use his guidance here.

B. Should I sacrifice a lamb as the Lord states I must in testaments of old? Or does the new testaments (I have not read) state this is not required anymore?

C. I was thinking perhaps our all powerful Lord who stands alone in this greatness may perhaps be gender less, not female. For what is the need of sex organs if there are none like you in opposite (man to woman) to engage with?

4. Indeed. Thank you for your clarification there, no more need be said.

[Des]

Re: couple questions

To some degree yes, you have answered my questions. Some clarification if you please?

1. All but one of the many Pharoes were missing from their tombs as well. Proof they ascended to Heaven in physical form? I dare say no. Grave robbing was a very lucrative industry in days past. I am not saying it did not happen as you say, but a missing body is hardly proof of what you claim. Why did he ascend to Heaven? How long did he stay after his Resurrection until this time? We could surely still use his guidance here.

That was covetous Egypt where people were buried with wealth. Jesus rebuffed material wealth, His possessions being kept in a Divine security deposit box in heaven. Therefore no profit was to be made from robbing His tomb.

B. Should I sacrifice a lamb as the Lord states I must in testaments of old? Or does the new testaments (I have not read) state this is not required anymore?

Herd animals were essentially currency back then, so it is appropriate to substitute American currency in place of goats. And the New Testament only saw Jesus cast aside a few dietary requirements for the most part, not the common false claim of His abolishing all of the law. False Christians ignore Jesus' multiple clarifications of this in Matthew 5:18-19, John 7:19, & Luke 16:17

C. I was thinking perhaps our all powerful Lord who stands alone in this greatness may perhaps be gender less, not female. For what is the need of sex organs if there are none like you in opposite (man to woman) to engage with?

Deuteronomy 23:1 explains that those with missing or damaged genitals cannot enter heaven. Therefore God cannot be smooth as a Ken doll down there.

4. Indeed. Thank you for your clarification there, no more need be said.

Glad to be of help in bringing another poor soul closer to God.

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

That was covetous Egypt where people were buried with wealth. Jesus rebuffed material wealth, His possessions being kept in a Divine security deposit box in heaven. Therefore no profit was to be made from robbing His tomb.




Herd animals were essentially currency back then, so it is appropriate to substitute American currency in place of goats. And the New Testament only saw Jesus cast aside a few dietary requirements for the most part, not the common false claim of His abolishing all of the law. False Christians ignore Jesus' multiple clarifications of this in Matthew 5:18-19, John 7:19, & Luke 16:17




Deuteronomy 23:1 explains that those with missing or damaged genitals cannot enter heaven. Therefore God cannot be smooth as a Ken doll down there.




Glad to be of help in bringing another poor soul closer to God.

As I knew a man would, you have gently and knowingly eased your knowing into me. I lay humble and open to all you have the time and fortitude to feed into me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: couple questions

Dear Commie Harlot;

This is the INTRODUCTION section. That means you INTRODUCE yourself. You give us your name, age, gender, hometown, and the name of the Church you were raised in. We want to know about the sins you've wallowed in. We want to know about your walk with Christ.

This is not the "ask random question" section. Pay attention.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

Dear Commie Harlot;

This is the INTRODUCTION section. That means you INTRODUCE yourself. You give us your name, age, gender, hometown, and the name of the Church you were raised in. We want to know about the sins you've wallowed in. We want to know about your walk with Christ.

This is not the "ask random question" section. Pay attention.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

Most esteemed Pastor,

What better method of introduction, to draw in the seeker?

Born in GODs country (Iowa), I now travel from place to place as instructed. Yes I am in Commie Canada, no I do not question the Divine plan. As you should not question how it came to be that these words come to you this day.

You ask for me to reveal my sins to you. Unlike you I am not a former masturbator, do not carry the heavy burden of sin where I walk.

YOU shall keep a respectful tongue in head as you address me. I born of pure lineage, taking form, blue haired and blonde eyed have not fallen prey to the works of Satan such as yourself.

I here pray to Father for your soul. Pray you are not so weak in the future to fall under Satan's cause as you have in the past. Your repentance IS expected. Sacrifice and ponder for the rest of your days so that you may, just MAY be forgiven.

Lamb, do not assume you know with whom you speak!

May GOD bless you,
Mary

[Didymus Much]

Re: couple questions

Most esteemed Pastor,

What better method of introduction, to draw in the seeker?

Born in GODs country (Iowa), I now travel from place to place as instructed. Yes I am in Commie Canada, no I do not question the Divine plan. As you should not question how it came to be that these words come to you this day.

You ask for me to reveal my sins to you. Unlike you I am not a former masturbator, do not carry the heavy burden of sin where I walk.

YOU shall keep a respectful tongue in head as you address me. I born of pure lineage, taking form, blue haired and blonde eyed have not fallen prey to the works of Satan such as yourself.

I here pray to Father for your soul. Pray you are not so weak in the future to fall under Satan's cause as you have in the past. Your repentance IS expected. Sacrifice and ponder for the rest of your days so that you may, just MAY be forgiven.

Lamb, do not assume you know with whom you speak!

May GOD bless you,
Mary

Wow, that was unwise if you expect to stay here for long.

[Des]

Re: couple questions

Ahem!


1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

Wow, that was unwise if you expect to stay here for long.

Small truths worded. Run and shun, or embrace with grace. Free will is yours to do with as you so choose, til Kingdom Cometh.

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

Ahem!


1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

All too many a miracle go unnoticed. You must open your love, for closed eyes cannot see. All before the molded clay is not the way it would seem. Thrust upon thee, Lord tests the faith of his lamb. All too many a miracle ending in bitter respite.

[Des]

Re: couple questions

All too many a miracle go unnoticed. You must open your love, for closed eyes cannot see. All before the molded clay is not the way it would seem. Thrust upon thee, Lord tests the faith of his lamb. All too many a miracle ending in bitter respite.

None of that is in the Bible. Are you on the marijuana or something? I hear the fags hang out at public bathrooms up there and make people shoot the marijuana through holes in the bathroom stalls.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: couple questions

You must open your love

Is this some Geisha-Talk for being a whore?

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

None of that is in the Bible. Are you on the marijuana or something? I hear the fags hang out at public bathrooms up there and make people shoot the marijuana through holes in the bathroom stalls.

The book you hold is not the singular all containing word of GOD. There are other scriptures, held on to and lost with the sands of time. Scriptures yet to be written. Do not fear the fag in the bathroom stall, for you are gifted with free will, and therefore the fag cannot MAKE you do anything. Your GOD given free will is your strongest weapon to fight Satan.

[Des]

Re: couple questions

The book you hold is not the singular all containing word of GOD. There are other scriptures, held on to and lost with the sands of time. Scriptures yet to be written. Do not fear the fag in the bathroom stall, for you are gifted with free will, and therefore the fag cannot MAKE you do anything. Your GOD given free will is your strongest weapon to fight Satan.

Are you a Geisha?


But I digress. Clearly your mind is addled from the marijuana, because we know with absolute certainty there will never be more Scriptures written.


Deuteronomy 4:2 Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

[SovietCanukistanian]

Re: couple questions

Is this some Geisha-Talk for being a whore?

Pardon me? Miss gushing for Jesus. If I have ever heard a more suggestive reference to whoredom I do not recall.

May GOD bless that wizard sleeve you bear, drooping and lose, over abused and scarred by time.