[Des]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Now, about this discipline thing, I might be willing to help, but not without some information first.


First up, what is the sound transmission class or 'soundproof rating' of his discipline room?


Secondly, what sort of video equipment does he have installed in order to record, review, and perfect his swings?


Thirdly, what precautions does he take to ensure the recorded sessions don't leak into the wrong hands? The world is rife with evildoers who would love nothing more than to get their nasty hands on such video and pervert an innocent instance of discipline to look like a lewd act. I can't risk soiling my sterling reputation because of some creative editing at the hands of athesnits or Lutherans, you know.


Penultimately, how often is it that both yourself and your daughter need simultaneous discipline? I'm a firm believer in killing two birds with one stone, and would be more inclined to tackle the extra challenge on days or weekends your husband is away.


Finally, I would need to see pictures of who I would be disciplining. I couldn't commit to anything without knowing if I were dealing with a mulatto or a Mexican or something. Even a righteous backhand must have standards.

[Des]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

beating people, especially women, is wrong!

What do you mean by especially women? You make it sound like you find it acceptable to beat men. Are you a misandrist or something? We don't tolerate you intolerant types here, you filthy man hating feminazi!

[Basilissa]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Hello Sister,

Yes, the Lord has herd my prayers 15 times but I belive this daghter is a punishment from the Almighty for my transgreshuns as a child. I am forbiden from studying academecs as the only book I have ever been alowed to reed is the KJV Bible.

Ho sweetie, and to 's favorite forum!

May I suggest that you spend more time reading the Bible? It contains the proper spelling of all words that you'll ever need to use!

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

beating people, especially women, is wrong!

Can you back that assertion up with scripture, boy? If not, you're a hell-bound heretic at best!


In Christ's love,


Sam

[JohnnyTightLips]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Hello to God's favorite people,

My Most Holy Husbend has comanded me too join this site as I have been a horribley naughtey wife. Last nite I started the devil's cycle wile he was reeding the KJV too the familey (15 Blessed Sons and 1 harlot daughter). In God fearing love, Mister Truth stripped me of my bloodie pantys and bete me with his rifel. His poor hands beginned to hurt, so the Blessed Sons took over after that.

Mr Truth wishes to find more strong, Christian Men to beat this demon out of me. He also gives you permishun too beat me for my poor grammer skils (
as a women I have no bisness being edookated) and any other transgreshun I may comit.

In Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

beating people, especially women, is wrong!

how old is your harlot daughter btw?

[Witch Hammer]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Hello Sister,

Yes, the Lord has herd my prayers 15 times but I belive this daghter is a punishment from the Almighty for my transgreshuns as a child. I am forbiden from studying academecs as the only book I have ever been alowed to reed is the KJV Bible. My Darling Husbend never missus church, but I am also forbiden from leaving home (the dishes won't wash there selves) so I must study the Word of God from here.

Certainly Sister, I belive my father was uncertin on what to do with me.

In The Blood of Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

You spelled two multisyllabic words correctly, which means that either you're not as dumb as dirt (which means you're no woman!), or that through sheer blind chance you've managed to stumble upon the correct spellings...give a bimbo a typewriter?

[Samuel Levenson]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Nice to meet you, Sister. I'm happy to hear you have rejected your harlot ways, at least temporarily. From the frequency of disciplines you describe I can't rightly tell if you're done whoring around or not.

[Sister Truth]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

I like that 700. I would like to add that it is highly likely that someone has exaggerated the size of your bride price. Even Sarah Palin isn't worth that kind of money.

Hello Alvin Moss sir,

I mustn't queshtun the word of Men.

In the Blood of Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

[Sister Truth]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Welcome Sister! Congratulations on bearing so many sons -- a woman's main duty! I am currently due in 2 weeks, roughly, and I'm praying for at least 1 son. I suggest you get some sense of understanding and learning. I am a well educated lady, for my father and husband believe that I need to be educated in the ways of the Lord and understanding the ways of Satan, so I can rebuke sinners. What church do you go to, and why were you with your family during your unclean time? For shame!

Hello Sister,

Yes, the Lord has herd my prayers 15 times but I belive this daghter is a punishment from the Almighty for my transgreshuns as a child. I am forbiden from studying academecs as the only book I have ever been alowed to reed is the KJV Bible. My Darling Husbend never missus church, but I am also forbiden from leaving home (the dishes won't wash there selves) so I must study the Word of God from here.

Certainly Sister, I belive my father was uncertin on what to do with me.

In The Blood of Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

[Sister Truth]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Plus, blood spatter can cause unsightly rust spots.

Hello Witch Hammer sir,

As my Husbend has found favor in the Lord, the blood of my sins has washed from his preshus rifel after each beating.

In The Blood of Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

[Sister Truth]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

He beats you with his rifle? Barbaric! Doesn't he know he might bend the barrel or mess up the sights?

Hello Mister Des sir,

By the grace of our Almighty Lord I have yet to damaje my Husbend's rifel. That unsaved daghter Catherine did thogh. She broke the barel rite in half. Mister Truth rightly shot her behind 375 times with the Darling 4-year-old Peter's rifel.

In The Blood of Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

[Didymus Much]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

...as a women I have no bisness being edookated...

How about showing the Scripture backing that view in your very next post?

...Mister Truth payed my Father $100,000,000 ...

Uh oh. Pastor Zeke is going to be expecting commensurate tithes, and he doesn't take disappointment well.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

I like that 700. I would like to add that it is highly likely that someone has exaggerated the size of your bride price. Even Sarah Palin isn't worth that kind of money.

[Roland]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Hello Mister Alvin Moss Sir,

The next day Mister Truth payed my Father $100,000,000 in dowry and took me of his hands.

In the Blood of Christ,

Sister Truth per Mister Truth

I can imagine $100,000,000 is not a lot for some but it might help the Pastor a bit closer to acquire his air plane. Remember Luke 21:2-4.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Greetings in the name of the Lord

Welcome Sister! Congratulations on bearing so many sons -- a woman's main duty! I am currently due in 2 weeks, roughly, and I'm praying for at least 1 son. I suggest you get some sense of understanding and learning. I am a well educated lady, for my father and husband believe that I need to be educated in the ways of the Lord and understanding the ways of Satan, so I can rebuke sinners. What church do you go to, and why were you with your family during your unclean time? For shame!