[Fred Hall]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

Well thanks James for your wisdom and honesty. I'm very intent as long as I know i'm starting off on the narrow road to life (Matt 7:14). I have all the patience in the world.... as long as I get Saved© before the rapture.

[flip35]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

Hi Fred,

Well you have come to the right place. You can start here on your path to Salvation®.

in the 5th step, there stands 'read all of the bible'. There are some cruel cruel stories, from bets about god and the devil to canabalism

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

in the 5th step, there stands 'read all of the bible'. There are some cruel cruel stories, from bets about god and the devil to canabalism

So make that step 1.

[Eucharista McBride]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

Umm... yes Brother Harold, I did ask God for forgiveness of my sick persuasions. That is why I believe he's led me to come here.

That said, it was a female sheep (a "Ewe) and not a male sheep that I had sex with... I made sure of that. I know in the eyes of the Lord that doing that would be the same thing as if I had stuck my wiener into a flaming homo afghani terrist.... or sacrificing a cow with damaged testicles to him (Leviticus 22:24) The end result of all sin is death. Yet, I somehow felt a slight comfort that I didn't have sex with a homo sheep, even though I know in the end it makes no difference in God's eyes.

I do hope the Lord will forgive me though. Since I have been on my journey to seek God, I haven't buggered any animals yet... so that is a start. And just so I don't fall into temptation again, I'm gonna go out right now with my winchester 30-30 and shoot all my neighbor's sheep while he is away.... by accident of course.

God is love and He is forgiveness but I'll level with ya: shagging a sheep pretty much rules out God's Kingdom for you. Why don't you try the Mormons? www.onlyjoseph.readtheplates.net

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

...I'll level with ya: shagging a sheep pretty much rules out God's Kingdom for you...

Wow, what hole did you pull that out of?

True Christians(tm) know that there's only one unforgivable sin, and luckily for any Scots, Welsh, or New Zealanders reading this, it doesn't involve sheep.

[Eucharista McBride]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

Wow, what hole did you pull that out of?

True Christians™ know that there's only one unforgivable sin, and luckily for any Scots, Welsh, or New Zealanders reading this, it doesn't involve sheep.

I would not be presumptions of Our Lord's infallible Judgement but I couldn't be laying with a man who shoved his thingie into a poor sheep. God forgive me my Pride, my intractable moral code and my basic Humanity.

[Fred Hall]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

God is love and He is forgiveness but I'll level with ya: shagging a sheep pretty much rules out God's Kingdom for you. Why don't you try the Mormons? www.onlyjoseph.readtheplates.net

Hi Eucharista McBride,

I take it your husband gave you permission to use the internet today. It is nice to hear your opinion and all... but seeing that you're a woman, I won't give it much thought. See, your proper place is to do as your husband wishes... and where he puts his 'thingie' is none of your concern. Just as you would not question the Lord, you should also not question your husband. That's between the Lord and him. Your job on the other hand is to accept your husband's 'thingie' whenever your husband decides. You have no choice in the matter. (Eph 5:22)

Besides, since you brought the subject up, my 'thingie' was thoroughly cleansed in the 'blood of sheep the lamb'.... many times infact... and is now shining white and clean. (Rev 7:14)

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

I would not be presumptions of Our Lord's infallible Judgement but I couldn't be laying with a man who shoved his thingie into a poor sheep...

Who asked you to?

You might not want sloppy seconds after a ewe*, but (according to the Bible) it might be some other female's only chance at Salvation:

1 Timothy 2:15 "But women will be saved through childbearing--if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety."

Why do you hate other women (that you haven't even met) so, as to deny them that chance?

And you still haven't justified your claim that "gettin' woolly wid it" means that his soul is permanently lost.

*OP didn't specify, so I'm giving the benefit of the doubt here

[Eucharista McBride]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

Hi Eucharista McBride,

I take it your husband gave you permission to use the internet today. It is nice to hear your opinion and all... but seeing that you're a woman, I won't give it much thought. See, your proper place is to do as your husband wishes... and where he puts his 'thingie' is none of your concern. Just as you would not question the Lord, you should also not question your husband. That's between the Lord and him. Your job on the other hand is to accept your husband's 'thingie' whenever your husband decides. You have no choice in the matter. (Eph 5:22)

Besides, since you brought the subject up, my 'thingie' was thoroughly cleansed in the 'blood of sheep the lamb'.... many times infact... and is now shining white and clean. (Rev 7:14)

Indeed good sir and it is with aeternal gratitude that I thank the Good Lord that my husband prefers to stick his thingie in me, rather than a beast. It is not my place to question my husband's appetite but you might forgive me for sharing his good taste. Quietly, of course.

[Fred Hall]

Re: Hi... I wanna be saved.

but you might forgive me...

Apology accepted.