[Didymus Much]

Re: Request for Help

...I realise the importance of keeping on his good side so as not to incur his wrath and vengeance.
I am, therefore, very determined to do that - and if it means smiting that pair of Jehovah Witnesses who I see hanging around my locality, I'm up for it!

The Bible says that the smiting thing is God's job, not yours.

Your job is to read the Bible, and obey.

Then you can go pester the Joho's by pointing out all the mistakes they're making, citing relevant Scripture <-- the key.

If there's one thing evangelists hate, it's when they try to play the Bible game and get their butts handed to them by an atheist.

SO GET READING.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Request for Help

I am, therefore, very determined to do that - and if it means smiting that pair of Jehovah Witnesses who I see hanging around my locality, I'm up for it!

It doesn't mean smiting anyone, as that is not your calling. If you wish to rebuke sinners and let them know that Jesus has had preachers of false religions in His Holy Cross Hairs for all of history (Deuteronomy 13:15; 7-12 ; Deuteronomy 17:2-5; Deuteronomy 18:20-22; Leviticus 24:10-16; 2 Chronicles 15:12-13; Zechariah 13:3), and the entire town that harbors them (Deuteronomy 13:13-19), then you would do well to actually know these things. You would be wise to continue in your reading of the Holy Word.

[Roast Beef]

Re: Request for Help

I have excellent news for the goodly folk of Landover Baptist Church whose advice I have followed to the letter.
I am SAVED!
I have indeed read the Bible (yes, the KJ version) from Genesis Ch. 1 Vs. 1 all the way through to Revelation Ch.22 Vs.21 and the wonderful final words "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen."
Not only did I read all the Bible - but I believe every word to be the Word of God, and I was able to do this after just three sessions with the wonderful Mr Herbert Penfold, the gifted hypnotherapist (who I have yet to complete my payments to - being wonderful he does charge a lot, and worth every penny!)
The reason I know I'm saved is because I've had another dream!
Yes, dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I dreamed once again that I'd died, but this time, instead of finding myself in Hell and being
expected to have intimate sexual relations with an evil-eyed goat, I was in Heaven - and in the loving arms of our Lord!
(I thought the kissing a bit odd and was puzzled as to why he insisted I take all my clothes off, but other than that I cannot complain).
So, my new life begins - and all thanks to YOU!

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Request for Help

I have excellent news for the goodly folk of Landover Baptist Church whose advice I have followed to the letter.
I am SAVED!
I have indeed read the Bible (yes, the KJ version) from Genesis Ch. 1 Vs. 1 all the way through to Revelation Ch.22 Vs.21 and the wonderful final words "The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen."
Not only did I read all the Bible - but I believe every word to be the Word of God, and I was able to do this after just three sessions with the wonderful Mr Herbert Penfold, the gifted hypnotherapist (who I have yet to complete my payments to - being wonderful he does charge a lot, and worth every penny!)
The reason I know I'm saved is because I've had another dream!
Yes, dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I dreamed once again that I'd died, but this time, instead of finding myself in Hell and being
expected to have intimate sexual relations with an evil-eyed goat, I was in Heaven - and in the loving arms of our Lord!
(I thought the kissing a bit odd and was puzzled as to why he insisted I take all my clothes off, but other than that I cannot complain).
So, my new life begins - and all thanks to YOU!

Well friend, that must be very encouraging for you! But please don't be duped by a dream. Last night I had a dream my dogs were giant spiders who lived on the ceiling. They walked upside down and glared at us from time to time, then ran to the corners to catch mice and rats. I can guarantee you there are no such vermin in the Etheldreda house.

The Department of Faith will no doubt look into your claims, and if your labors bear good fruit (Matthew 7:17), then we can know you haven't fooled yourself with wishful thinking (Jeremiah 17:9). This isn't magic you know. You can't just *poof* Salvation. You have to sincerely believe that Jesus was born of a virgin (Matthew 1:23), died (Matthew 27:50), got better (Acts 2:24), floated up through the clouds (Acts 1:9), through the atmosphere, into deep space where He sits next to Himself on a throne (Mark 16:19) that overlooks and judges everything we do and think, and don't do and fail to think (Jeremiah 17:10).

My God Bless you in this journey!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Request for Help

I am SAVED!
and I was able to do this after just three sessions with the wonderful Mr Herbert Penfold, the gifted hypnotherapist

Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.-Leviticus 19:31


You are a false Christian and in thrall to Satan. As for now, your soul is forfeit. Get right with Jesus or prepare for the fires of Hell.