Howdy yall

[Bubba Buck]

My name is Buck from Bangor. My friends and my former church group call me Bubba Buck. I was formally a Westboro Baptist Church member but recently left after I felt they were too soft on teaching the words of the great lord. I came to this great place of Landover in hopes that I may join and be part of where the worthwhile worship.

My past was riddled. Before I found Jesus I was always being tempted by the evil homosexual ways on television. One particular show tried very hard to make me gay. It was America's Got Talent. Every time I saw Howie Mandel on camera, something in my head was telling me "Wouldn't you want a piece of that ass?". After the show was over, I decided enough was enough. I turned myself in to a nearby gay conversion camp. Through many motivational Sarah Palin tapes I converted successfully. My profile picture shows how I am now. Below is a picture of what I used to be before gay conversion camp. As you can see, I have cleaned up well.








My favorite bible verse would have to be from the book of Leviticus.


Leviticus 18:22: " Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." 3. Leviticus 20:13: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."


Homosexuality is a sin.




I hope that all who live and worship at Landover Baptist Church may accept me as one of their own so that I may continue on the path of TRUE righteousness.

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Howdy yall

I forgot to add a picture of how cleaned up I have become since going to gay conversion camp.

[icky link removed by moderator]


As you can see, the mark left upon me from the gay temptation has disappeared. I am incredibly happy at how I am now that I am straight and on the path of righteousness. Sorry for the double post. I just thought it necessary to provide proof that I am no longer a homer. I am single and hope to find a nice christian baptist wife some day.

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Howdy yall

Urgh I am so sorry for this. If some great reverend can merge my posts that would be greatly appreciated. HERE is the proof.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Howdy yall




Brother Bubba,


What a joy to see a gay, slimy, lust-ridden, wicked faggot transformed into a child of our Lord Jesus Christ. The change is apparent. Your countenance now rid of the chains of bondage that living an impure lifestyle brings with it, you literally shine with His love. And the change is REAL, friend. (1 Corinthians 6:11) The Word of GOD uses the past tense in describing sinners transformed and sanctified by being washed in the blood of our Savior.


It has always been my belief that homers are a little retarded, which is proven by the issues you had with posting a simple picture on our friendly forums. But let that not embarrass you, Brother. Christ will transform your mind as you trust in Him. (Romans 12:2)


So - do you enjoy camping? I am trying to get Brother Leroy Llewelyn to share a tent with me before the weather gets too cold. Perhaps you would enjoy the fellowship of Christian men as we rough it for a few days in the wilderness, praying and sharing the close relationship that only men whose lives have been renewed by GOD can share. Just picture us all on our knees, friend. I hope we can make that happen.


My advice to you now is to pray much. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and be sure to fellowship with a Bible believing congregation so that you continue to grow in the grace of the LORD. I have added you to my electronic prayer list. Look around our friendly, welcoming forums to find instruction and edification of the Spirit through the many sermons and bits of wisdom scattered throughout our pages.


I leave you with a poem many have found inspirational:


"I once was a fudgepacker, loving the tallywacker,
But now I am serving the LORD;
His love fills the gaps once occupied by chaps,
Christ paid what I could not afford!
I'll serve Him each day and I'll never be gay
I've left all my sinning and shame.
Now one day in Glory, the Salvation® Story
Will be proven when He calls my name."

Walk with Christ, friend. When you take one step toward the Lord, He takes two steps toward you.


COME, LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Howdy yall

Greetings Bubba. Here in Babylon everything is modern and new. I am glad you were able to obtain counseling for your perversions. In Jamaica which is my home only the hotels for the white tourists are modern. Everything else is old fashioned and like the rest of the world. We usually set homosexuals on fire if we can catch them because that is the tried and true method. They are Black men and so they run very fast but the rest of us are also Black men and we are fast too.

[Phil Ander]

Re: Howdy yall

Through many motivational Sarah Palin tapes I converted successfully. My profile picture shows how I am now. Below is a picture of what I used to be before gay conversion camp. As you can see, I have cleaned up well.

Sarah Palin is a woman, and as such is not qualified to do much else apart from cooking, cleaning and bearing soldiers for Christ. She is also from Alaska, which is part of Russia. Presently we enjoy good relations with Russia (and even better when President Trump takes control) but there is a chance that we may "unfriend" Russia in the future. If this happens your gay conversion could be in jeopardy and you may relapse, and possibly get set on fire if you go to Jamaica...see Trevor's friendly advice above...


Cutting to the chase, successful gay conversion is one of Landover's specialities, and there are several pastors who would be willingly to "buddy up" and enrol you in an intense therapeutic course. If you are not successfully converted after a week, there's always another pastor who will take you under their wing.


Phil

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Howdy yall

Oh my oh my. What a warm welcome. I do feel confident in the conversion I have received, however I would love to have the extra comfort knowing I am safe from perversion if I do partake in some gay conversion therapy from a Landover pastor. Phil, you bring an excellent point that Sarah Palin is a woman. I cannot rely on her methods alone. I do request the services of a Landover pastor and undergo an intense therapeutic course. I ask as a piece of current unsaved trash, can any of you save me?

To Brother Larry, I would be more than happy to rough it in the wilderness some day with some of my fellow christian men. As far as sharing a tent would go, I would hope that there is enough room to where we would not touch. Also, I would be more comfortable to go camping with you and the other men AFTER I go through one of Landover's intense gay conversion courses. You can never be too safe you know?

[Roland]

Re: Howdy yall

[...]I do request the services of a Landover pastor and undergo an intense therapeutic course. I ask as a piece of current unsaved trash, can any of you save me?[...]

Hello Bubba,

Those are a lot of interesting questions. You seem to have missed one though: How much are you willing to tithe? Stealing from God is not very Christian (Malachi 3:8-9), it might not be a problem (John 10:10), it could get you into trouble. How much do you own and what are you willing to give 2 Corinthians 9:7?

Kind regards,

Roland

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Howdy yall

Oh my oh my. What a warm welcome. I do feel confident in the conversion I have received, however I would love to have the extra comfort knowing I am safe from perversion if I do partake in some gay conversion therapy from a Landover pastor. Phil, you bring an excellent point that Sarah Palin is a woman. I cannot rely on her methods alone. I do request the services of a Landover pastor and undergo an intense therapeutic course. I ask as a piece of current unsaved trash, can any of you save me?

Hello young man. I can help, but I have a few questions first.


Have you ever touched a male rectum, including your own? Always, this is the first step when one decides to be a homo. Trust me, when I was 4 years old, I started experimentation with my anus. It was not long until I passed the anal barrier and explored my rectum.


By 6, I wanted to be gay, and was using common household objects to reach my distal sigmoid colon. I thought it felt good, but I was confused because I was young.


Now, some 50 years later, I know it was all because I hated God, even as a toddler.


Do you fantasize at all about homo-rectal intercourse? Even for a moment? It is quite common here in God's Church for deceivers to lie. Tell the truth!


Were there moments when you were alone in your bed (and unsupervised) that you envisioned 10 inches of man-wood in your colon? Riding the steel? Or worse, have you thought of being a pile-driving top with no mercy for your rectal victim?


I won't go into details of the filth of anal sex that I am now cured of, praise Jesus! But I need to know more about you to save you from the gayness.


In Christ.

[handmaiden]

Re: Howdy yall

Oh my oh my. What a warm welcome.

Kind of you to say, Mr. Buck. The thermodynamic nature of our welcome is based on our expectation that our visitors may experience an exceedingly warm welcome in hell if they do not pay heed to the revealed Word of God known as the Holy Bible.

I ask as a piece of current unsaved trash, can any of you save me?

Referring to my mention of the Holy Bible as listed above, even a cursory knowledge of the aforementioned document should be enough to answer your inquiry.


WE cannot save you or anyone else, Mr. Buck. Scripture makes it abundantly clear that Jesus alone offers Salvation.


Do make an effort to familiarize yourself with the contents of Holy Writ, Mr. Buck. Once you have demonstrated the appropriate depth and respect for God's Word, your status here will be re-evaluated.


Presuming your bona fides are properly established and you are granted the designation of True Christian, then by sole virtue of your gender you will be able to reprove me in any manner you so choose.


Superciliously Yours,


Handmaiden

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Howdy yall

Hello young man. I can help, but I have a few questions first.


Have you ever touched a male rectum, including your own? Always, this is the first step when one decides to be a homo. Trust me, when I was 4 years old, I started experimentation with my anus. It was not long until I passed the anal barrier and explored my rectum.


By 6, I wanted to be gay, and was using common household objects to reach my distal sigmoid colon. I thought it felt good, but I was confused because I was young.


Now, some 50 years later, I know it was all because I hated God, even as a toddler.


Do you fantasize at all about homo-rectal intercourse? Even for a moment? It is quite common here in God's Church for deceivers to lie. Tell the truth!


Were there moments when you were alone in your bed (and unsupervised) that you envisioned 10 inches of man-wood in your colon? Riding the steel? Or worse, have you thought of being a pile-driving top with no mercy for your rectal victim?


I won't go into details of the filth of anal sex that I am now cured of, praise Jesus! But I need to know more about you to save you from the gayness.


In Christ.

Greetings Brother Harold. I have not had any physical contact with anyone's male rectum that I can recall. Unfortunately, I regrettedly admit that I have touched my own rectum from time to time whenever I have to use the bathroom. When I go to wipe my hiney with toilet paper, sometimes my fingers would accidentally slip onto it. I also do remember day dreaming about it when I would watch America's Got Talent and saw Howie Mandel's face. I am currently three years clean of those thoughts, however. Would you recommend that I purchase a bidet to circumvent the touching of the anus if I have to wipe my hiney? I have one ready to buy if you are willing to take a look. It is even made in America.





A small message to Handmaiden. I recognize that nobody but Jesus Christ can save me. I did not need a reminder from a WOMAN. However, thank you anyway. And as for you Roland, not that it's any of your business but I plan to tithe at least 60 percent of my wealth to Landover. Man does not need personal wealth to gain success in this great land. I direct you to one of my personal favorite scriptures from Numbers 18:26.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Howdy yall

Dear Mr. Bubba, I am glad to hear that you are working to being completely utterly free of Satan's grasp on you! Praise Jesus! Please remember to be polite to all Christian women, especially TC women like lovely Handmaiden in accordance to 1 Peter 3:7 which says that women are the weaker vessel. -Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Howdy yall

Dear Mrs. Johnson,

I sincerely apologize for my misbehavior. I suppose I still have some work. I really truly wish to continue on the path of righteousness. May the Lord save me for I have sinned today with my disrespect to the lovely Handmaiden. Handmaiden I apologize for my wrongdoing. I confess my faults here as according to James 5:16. Perhaps through the strict program that Reverend Porter may put me through, I will be able to abstain from such sinful behavior again. Mayhaps it's the homersexual tendencies that caused me to be so....so disrespectful to Handmaiden. Perhaps Sarah Palin's gay conversion camp was not completely helpful in my cleanse. I may have washed away most of it, but I will most certainly need to undergo Brother Porter's conversion therapy to be truly clean of such disgusting behavior.

[Roland]

Re: Howdy yall

Hi Bubba,

Don´t feel despaired. As long as you did not blaspheme the Holy Ghost you can still become a Christian. Do you have any other favourite verses besides those from Leviticus (and that single one from Numbers )?

Kind regards,

Roland

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Howdy yall

Well Roland, I have no "favorite verse" as I equally love all of the KJV bible. I do have to ask, your use of "favourite" has raised an eyebrow on my face. Are you perhaps a foreigner? Anyways, I love the entire bible and all of the teachings from the books. For me to have one favorite verse over another or to choose one book over another is blasphemy. Understand I took no offence to what you just asked by the way. But I cannot deny nor can I lie when it comes to the bible. Every verse is my favorite from the book of Matthew to the book of Ezekiel to even the book of Jonah.