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  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10050
    #16
    Re: Hello, Brothers and Sisters!

    Splendid, Zachary! Naturally, some people think I'm weird for having a poop-scooping paddle attached to my AR-15, but I just tell them to read the Bible!
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

      Comment

      • Brother Zachary
        Forum Member
        Forum Member
        • Dec 2016
        • 15
        #17
        Re: Hello, Brothers and Sisters!

        Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
        Splendid, Zachary! Naturally, some people think I'm weird for having a poop-scooping paddle attached to my AR-15, but I just tell them to read the Bible!
        Following our Lord and Savior is not "weird", my Brother. Only an Atheist or a Homosexual would say something so bizarre, and they will be burning in Hell for ignoring God!


        God bless you!
        Amen and God Bless!

          Comment

          • Brother Zachary
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Dec 2016
            • 15
            #18
            Re: Hello, Brothers and Sisters!

            Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
            Hello, young man. You will pardon my somewhat late and trepidatious welcome to Landover Baptist Church.

            As a recovering homo-rectalist and predatory Sodomite, I must be certain that new members do not threaten my walk with Jesus. Like an alcoholic, men that have chosen to be queer can relapse to the analoid demons very easily. Any veiled reference to mud-packing can be catastrophic for the ex-gay.

            Many new posters pose as Christians, when bukake faggery and colonic conquest is really why they are here. I do not sense this in you.

            May you prosper and serve Him.

            Fag-free and in Christ.
            Thank you for such kind words, Brother.


            Amen and God Bless!
            Amen and God Bless!

              Comment

              • MitzaLizalor
                Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2010
                • 14624
                #19
                Re: Hello, Brothers and Sisters!

                Hello, welcome to Landover. I'm glad to see you're aware of the dangers of secular music which encourages demon possession whether the revellers acknowledge that or not. I know that Jesus can set you free from appetites the metal will have implanted in you. It is troubling when demonic riffs and timbres are unleashed in false churches and if their ignorant "pastors" are blissfully unaware we are not. Excessive noise and wild synthetic scales will never be found here.
                ECCLESIASTES 12 . KJV . look up
                13                 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
                14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

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