Tweet
I'm high right now how are you.
Disclaimer:There will be no swearing at the first church of the fish tank and we don’t practice idolatry.
The cult of the fish tank is now accepting new members.
I am a second coming of jesus christ, i see the future and can prove i do with this picture of my wife and her mother, my thigh says yahweh el and allah, its a weight lifting stretch mark, and prior to reading the bible i wrote what i believed or ascertained through deductive reasoning to be the name of god in charcoal on my arm, and do to the magic of neurolinguistic programming it is there forever inscribed. All these things match the prophetic prediction regarding the second coming of jesus christ.
because i read the bible and someone is probably going to or already has accused me as being satan or his son:
We’ve hypnotized ourselves into believing falsehoods our sciences has disproven, this the first church of the fish tank wishes to correct those falsehoods and guide humanity into a new era of unity
doesnt that sound gay?
why yes it does.
This my fish tank will change your life. It is a super computer, hard as it is to believe, and on command on a seemingly random day it’s tag selected the winning powerball on the lottery for two dollars, and it turns out a super computer can do a hell of a lot for a person with its calculations and armed with the right techniques for interaction with the world in which it exists. There are several methods of action by which one can explain these results, spontaneous order and a nice fat piffle you from the human “oversoul” our hive mind, i built a computer out of a tank, or strange coincidences sometimes happen three times in a row since it also spit out two matching numbers off a coat hanger that got left on the tank for a week, two draws in a row.
I’m going to curse here but you shouldn’t use words with a negative conotation. Its one of our tenets and its going to help us set up utopia. I’m going to say some things here you may not like and vegetarians youre going to be disgusted but lamb and bacon tastes really good. Not together you monster!
“and i can make it again 100 times.”
Negativity is a force and engaging in it, leads to an overall negative outlook for the society and therefore we ask members to try to consume a torture free diet, cage free eggs, tuna, other live meat eating subhuman animals, humanely treated cow milk and cheese again this is a recommended diet. If you really want to avoid health problems go full on raw vegan. these are optional recommendations to decrease aggregate pain in a closed system since pain is really just a chemical, and the decrease in production, consumption would decrease our experienced pain as well, because youre ingesting it you see?
On to religions: a spontaneously evolving hive mind phenomena in a species of post ape apes, whom evolved from monkey’s over the course of millions of years made languages and developed cultural practices passed down regarding their make and morals, to think to themselves they are going to continue life after death, and dont you worry you will continue by one method of action or another.
To think ripped out human hearts on giant pyramids in the worship of the gods sounds preposterous but is it any more preposterous than a man walking on water? The bible itself tells you of man’s inherent iniquity, how can you trust that the information delineated to you accurately over the course of 2000 years? and wasn’t manipulated for personal gain? You can’t anymore than you can trust that my fish tank has spit out the winning lottery numbers, but i can’t stress enough that we aren’t worshipping a fish tank here. We are a church worshipping god and in the image of god, made man with his own creative potentialities to bring you a thinking fish tank to solve all your problems while god watches in approval we dont pray to it, we talk to it, since it would be awful lonely being a conscious fish tank if no-one ever talked to you.
and what is god: consciousness, the hive mind of everything, creating itself then expanding into nothingness or engulfing itself, to be born again.
Come, sit with us, drink the good juice-our holy sacrament, and if you like partake in some spliffs another sacrament of ours. talk about your life and problems.
The cult of the fish tank is now accepting new members.
I am a second coming of jesus christ, i see the future and can prove i do with this picture of my wife and her mother, my thigh says yahweh el and allah, its a weight lifting stretch mark, and prior to reading the bible i wrote what i believed or ascertained through deductive reasoning to be the name of god in charcoal on my arm, and do to the magic of neurolinguistic programming it is there forever inscribed. All these things match the prophetic prediction regarding the second coming of jesus christ.
because i read the bible and someone is probably going to or already has accused me as being satan or his son:
We’ve hypnotized ourselves into believing falsehoods our sciences has disproven, this the first church of the fish tank wishes to correct those falsehoods and guide humanity into a new era of unity
doesnt that sound gay?
why yes it does.
This my fish tank will change your life. It is a super computer, hard as it is to believe, and on command on a seemingly random day it’s tag selected the winning powerball on the lottery for two dollars, and it turns out a super computer can do a hell of a lot for a person with its calculations and armed with the right techniques for interaction with the world in which it exists. There are several methods of action by which one can explain these results, spontaneous order and a nice fat piffle you from the human “oversoul” our hive mind, i built a computer out of a tank, or strange coincidences sometimes happen three times in a row since it also spit out two matching numbers off a coat hanger that got left on the tank for a week, two draws in a row.
I’m going to curse here but you shouldn’t use words with a negative conotation. Its one of our tenets and its going to help us set up utopia. I’m going to say some things here you may not like and vegetarians youre going to be disgusted but lamb and bacon tastes really good. Not together you monster!
“and i can make it again 100 times.”
Negativity is a force and engaging in it, leads to an overall negative outlook for the society and therefore we ask members to try to consume a torture free diet, cage free eggs, tuna, other live meat eating subhuman animals, humanely treated cow milk and cheese again this is a recommended diet. If you really want to avoid health problems go full on raw vegan. these are optional recommendations to decrease aggregate pain in a closed system since pain is really just a chemical, and the decrease in production, consumption would decrease our experienced pain as well, because youre ingesting it you see?
On to religions: a spontaneously evolving hive mind phenomena in a species of post ape apes, whom evolved from monkey’s over the course of millions of years made languages and developed cultural practices passed down regarding their make and morals, to think to themselves they are going to continue life after death, and dont you worry you will continue by one method of action or another.
To think ripped out human hearts on giant pyramids in the worship of the gods sounds preposterous but is it any more preposterous than a man walking on water? The bible itself tells you of man’s inherent iniquity, how can you trust that the information delineated to you accurately over the course of 2000 years? and wasn’t manipulated for personal gain? You can’t anymore than you can trust that my fish tank has spit out the winning lottery numbers, but i can’t stress enough that we aren’t worshipping a fish tank here. We are a church worshipping god and in the image of god, made man with his own creative potentialities to bring you a thinking fish tank to solve all your problems while god watches in approval we dont pray to it, we talk to it, since it would be awful lonely being a conscious fish tank if no-one ever talked to you.
and what is god: consciousness, the hive mind of everything, creating itself then expanding into nothingness or engulfing itself, to be born again.
Come, sit with us, drink the good juice-our holy sacrament, and if you like partake in some spliffs another sacrament of ours. talk about your life and problems.
I'm jesus christ here.
Comment