[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hey!

Congratulations on still being a virgin! Did it occur to you that perhaps this is not by accident, but by design? That, perhaps, God is keeping you pure, because He plans to have you meet His son, Jesus Christ? And that once you've been saved, He wants you to get married to a good Christian man?

Isn't God wonderful!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Hey!

I have not yet determined your s-e-c-k-s. This makes it somewhat difficult for me to respond to you, but I am very happy you are here. This is the ONLY site where you will learn the truth about the Holy Bible, Jesus, and eternity. Yes, I said the ONLY one.


Our church believes in ministry to all people, because God would love to have a full table at the marriage supper of the Lamb. (1 Timothy 2:3-4) Your mention of being a half sodomite doesn't bear witness with science or nature, and this offends the Lord, who demands your complete devotion or else (Revelation 3:14-17). I would prefer not being spewed from the LORD's mouth - or anyone's. I would prefer that the LORD blesses me with solid food, since I am a True Christian(TM) who has gone beyond the milk stage (1 Peter 2:2). Still, no one likes a person who spits.


Video games are generally unhealthy for the young mind. This is not an area in which I am well-versed, despite my innate intelligence and natural wisdom. "Pong," which I understand is very popular, reminds me of "prong," which reminds me of the devil's barbed organ of copulation. I steer clear of any reference to that appendage, since I prefer eternity being fed by the most masculine and muscular of angels while leaning on Jesus' breast.


You've earned a spot on my prayer list. I hope you understand that our forums are not here to condemn anyone other than those that deserve condemnation; we are here to lead you to the truth and the Bible is the ONLY way to find it (John 17:17).


One more thing: Goodwill and the library and of course several stores sell a large-print edition of the King James Bible. This will help improve your relationship with God's Holy Word, and the result of that can only be a good one.


Diligently praying for your redemption,
BrotherLarry
Revelation 22:12

[Uranium Fever]

Re: Hey!

He wants you to get married to a good Christian man?

I'm male. So you just promoted same-sex marriage! jk


I can understand why you thought I was female, after all my avatar is of a girl.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hey!

I'm male...my avatar is of a girl.

Jesus don't play that.

Deuteronomy 22:5 "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God."

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hey!

I'm male.

No, really? I mean, not "do you feel like a male," but in reality, is there a floppy male member physically dangling between your legs? I ask because you have a very feminine style and I was about to share some tips to make you less unattractive to the opposite sex, seeing how that's the number one reason girls give to trying out lesbianism. A gal needn't pretend to be a man just because she can't catch one. There are all kinds of skin care and cosmetic solutions for today's ugly gal.

[Bubba Buck]

Re: Hey!

For the life of me, I cannot find any good reason that a male would even WANT to self identify as a female. Females are, by god's definition, weaker and in need to be taken care of by males. They are meant to stay in the household to breed and raise soldiers for God.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hey!

I can understand why you thought I was female

Oh boy. I can see we really have our work cut out for us here.

Tell you what, friendo. I'm going to take you hunting. Just you, me, some long guns, and a bottle of rye whiskey.

When would be a good day for this to occur?

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Re: Hey!

A feminine male with bisexural tendencies? Careful because you will end up like the real-life versions of these poor souls.