[Cherry Pie]

Re: greetings

Dear Mrs. Pie,


You say you are an atheist? If so would you please be consistent in your spelling of the aforementioned word. We here at Landover take go to great lengths to make sure we can spell.


An atheist is defined as the following:


non-believer, non-theist, disbeliever, unbeliever, heretic, skeptic, doubter, doubting Thomas, agnostic, infidel, irreligious person, heathen, pagan, freethinker, libertine, nihilist;


Which of these are YOU?

In this instance, irreligious person would best describe me.

Mr. Pie,


Welcome to the friendly forums of Landover Baptist Church


We are loving people and certain of us are also intelligent. It won't take you long to find out I am one of them. The intercourse you've had with some of our truly holy people is but a foretaste of the joy you will feel once you come to Jesus, confessing with your mouth that He is the Son of God and that you need His forgiveness. Think of the day you run to Him, leaping into His Loving Arms as He says, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant." The fact that He will say that to everyone shouldn't make you jealous. He is large and has plenty of love to go around. He will NOT, however, say that to sinners. Instead He will say, "Depart from me! I never knew you!" Those people will be whisked into the lake of fire along with people like Osama Bin Laden, the Clintons, Mary Tyler Moore, all Catholics, and the nun who is head of the papist false religion, Frances.


Wouldn't you rather keep company with us? Should you need help accepting our LORD as Savior, please contact a pastor. In the meantime, feel free to inquire of us should any questions arise in your mind during the Salvation® process.


In the Lord's Name,
BrotherLarry

Finally, a decent response that sounds genuine, despite my disbelief of the premise. Thank you, Mr. Larry.

If you're not a colony, then why the heck do you support that archaic system?

Whoever said I did? I don't personally find any of the royal business interesting. "Oh look! An old woman!" "Oh look! Someone gave birth!" You'd think people would get over them, right?

It's a shame, isn't it? Most contemporary self-proclaimed "Christians" enthusiastically ignore and deny 90% of the book they claim to consider as the Word of God.

If there's one thing I have to agree with when it comes to Baptists, at least you stick to your story. Catholics aren't exactly...consistent, are they?

You see, dear, the sole evidence we have for what types of behavior God condones is the Holy Bible, and you seem to agree that the Bible does condone racism/xenophobia, homophobia, misogyny, and diverse forms of oppression of people by people.

So yes - the Christian deity (that's how this word is spelled) is in favor of all these things. By calling Brother Gonzalez racist you are, again, shooting the messenger.

Thanks for clarifying how to spell "deity." Like I stated earlier in this post, at least Baptists stick to the book they claim is infalliable.

Listen up, Boyo! If you're here to get your cherry popped, you've come to the wrong place! We don't have any practicing homers - my prayers have cured them. If you're here to beg for exorcism, you should remember that not Jesus nor I listen to the pleas of sinners. John 9:31 FYI.

I'm not gay, and even if I was, it wouldn't be something that could be "cured."

How come you two dirty atheists or pasta freaks or whatever moonshine consumers are still here?! I've banned you both dozens of times. Start praying and tithing you two, capische?

So, if I'm interpreting this right, I shouldn't take anything Didymus and Roger are saying with anything more than a grain of salt?

I am better than you according to the Bible. Yes, the word of God tells that you ONLY need to believe in God and Jesus and do as He says to become a new person and have all your sins forgiven. If Josef Mengele did that, he is in heaven now.

Mengele? The "Angel of Death" at Auchwitz? The one who committed egregious medical experiments, and then likely escaped to Paraguay along with THE Adolf Hitler? Religious apathy aside, I highly doubt it.

While Ana Frank is probably rotting in Hell as she did not believe in Jesus. That is a fact, is in the Bible, and you cannot avoid it.

And, aside from the bible, what evidence is there to prove the infallability of the bible? If it's God, then where is the evidence to prove him?

No, you were not insulting blacks, asians, whites, you were insulting a hispanic person. And you are again by not mentioning the race of the person you were insulting.

Thanks, you miserable racist.

Notice how I ended that with "etc." meaning "et cetera," meaning "further, similar items are included in this short list." I didn't mention his race because
A: I didn't know he's hispanic and
B: The "etc." already covered hispanics.
I wasn't being racist because I wasn't targeting any race in particular. Just how if I waled up to a Maori fella and told him he had a short beard, I wouldn't be attacking Maori people as a race.

[Didymus Much]

Re: greetings

...Mengele? The "Angel of Death" at Auchwitz? The one who committed egregious medical experiments, and then likely escaped to Paraguay along with THE Adolf Hitler?...

Only possible after Charles Lindbergh stole that UFO to fly them there, amirite?

...Religious apathy aside, I highly doubt it...

1) That's what the Bible says.


2) You can't doubt if you don't care about the truth in the first place.

...Just how if I waled up to a Maori fella and told him he had a short beard, I wouldn't be attacking Maori people as a race.

No, you'd too busy be picking up your teeth.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: greetings

Does anyone know if this young hooligan has been registered in his country as an atheist, and thus a danger to the public? This has been an issue very near and dear to our own Pastor Zeke, who is working very closely with President Trump to provide this public service in the USA. He's been working on this policy for a long time: Atheists Should Be Registered Like Sex Offenders!

[Roland]

Re: greetings

[..]

I'm not gay, and even if I was, it wouldn't be something that could be "cured."

True Christians™ might disagree.

So, if I'm interpreting this right, I shouldn't take anything Didymus and Roger are saying with anything more than a grain of salt?

Who is this ¨Roger¨?

And, aside from the bible, what evidence is there to prove the infallability of the bible? If it's God, then where is the evidence to prove him?

That would probably be in the Bible.
Kind regards, Roland

[Dana723]

Re: greetings

Does anyone know if this young hooligan has been registered in his country as an atheist, and thus a danger to the public? This has been an issue very near and dear to our own Pastor Zeke, who is working very closely with President Trump to provide this public service in the USA. He's been working on this policy for a long time: Atheists Should Be Registered Like Sex Offenders!

What an excellent idea!

[Cherry Pie]

Re: greetings

Does anyone know if this young hooligan has been registered in his country as an atheist, and thus a danger to the public? This has been an issue very near and dear to our own Pastor Zeke, who is working very closely with President Trump to provide this public service in the USA. He's been working on this policy for a long time: Atheists Should Be Registered Like Sex Offenders!

I highly doubt that your Pastor is working with Trump, who has been known to switch between Democrat and Republican on several occasions. Otherwise, in New Zealand it would be faster to register the religious people, since 42% of the population is irreligious, and all others follow a religion/prefer not to say. Only 39% of the population registers as any form of Christianity, and baptism is in the "Other Christianity" category (The entire category is at 15% so a safe estimate would be between 4% - 8% Baptist)

Who is this ¨Roger¨?

Apologies that I put "Roger" instead of "Roland." I just didn't care.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: greetings

Ms. Pie,


I saw your kind note and it made me smile. I praise GOD that you felt my sincerity. Christ in me radiates His love and when one is tuned into that, it's amazing how He is faithful to allow others to feel it. It's kind of like a big radio, actually. The signal can't be seen, but it is heard when you tune the receiver to the frequency. I guess it could be called WGOD! LOL


I am sorry you disagree with the "premise", but my friend I assure you there is more to it than just premises. Every word of the Bible tells you a little more about the nature of GOD; if you study it and put two and two together, He hides nothing about Himself nor how He feels about us. The words are there, you just need to read them to find out how simple the Christian life is!


One thing is certain: I'm going to keep sending out His love and I am going to keep my prayers going up on your behalf, bombarding the Precious Throne of Grace with intercession for your soul. God has opened up this line of communication for us; let us not take it upon ourselves to close the crevasse that the power of Jesus has created.


Let me leave you with this poem I wrote:


Though the stars fall down around me, I will trust in Jesus Name.
Though enemies surround me, I will trust Him just the same!
Though battleships and torpedoes try to cause me woe and pain,
I know my Lord is with me and will keep me free from woe and pain!

Oh Thank You Jesus Jesus You are all the shield I need
I hold You high while bullets fly; You keep me safe indeed
So let the storms and pestilence attempt to bring me down,
I'll trust in You until one day You give me my lovely crown.

You, too, Ms Pie, can know that emotion.
In Him,
BrotherLarry

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: greetings

i'm a 35 year old white male living in auckland, new zealand directed to this forum by some of my mates because i'm apathetic to religion.

Ah, another Kiwi! Amen, shalom, kia ora, and God bless ye!

Wait, you said, you are not Christian? Do you know you are on your way to hell (John 3:36, 2 Thessalonians 1:8)? There is only way out! Believe that Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again the third day (Isaiah 53:5, Romans 10:9, 1 Corinthians 15:3-4)