Intro from an Okie

[Off Base]

Well, thought I should put my own intro here.

I'm 30 years old. I live in Oklahoma. I read alot of your site and I figure you are one of two things:

1- You are an incredibly detailed satire site.

2- You are the craziest fundies in the history of the entire universe.

Just curious, which one is it?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Intro from an Okie

Well, thought I should put my own intro here.

I'm 30 years old. I live in Oklahoma. I read alot of your site and I figure you are one of two things:

1- You are an incredibly detailed satire site.

2- You are the craziest fundies in the history of the entire universe.

Just curious, which one is it?

We are neither. Take a look at THIS thread for a complete explanation of who we are. I paraphrase below:

This is not a debate forum. The purpose of this site is to praise and glorify the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is a place for Christians to fellowship and worship. The goal of the Landover Baptist Church forum is to draw people to Jesus Christ because Scripture confirms that salvation comes only through Him.

Luke 6:22 tells us that because we preach the True doctrine of Jesus, men shall hate us and call us evil. So naturally, we expect that folks will get their feathers ruffled by some of the things they have to say, and they will come on here to argue with us. Perhaps we have said something that upset you. Maybe it was something I said. If so, then I am sorry that you are upset, but I do not apologize for what I have said. My words and thoughts come from the Holy Scriptures. I didn't write the Bible -- God did. So if my words upset you, then you don't have a problem with me -- you have a problem with God.

We tend to get two types of dissenters here. Some are calm and reasonable folks who are capable of rational discussion. I personally enjoy discussing religious topics with this sort of person. Others, however, are angry trolls who are just here to flame us. If you are here to flame us, please read this first.

Do you think we are a parody?

Perhaps you've heard that we are a joke, satire or parody, and you came to our site for a few cheap laughs or "lulz", only to find people taking everything seriously. So now you have decided to be the first to "spill the beans" and let everyone in on your "knowledge". Friend, this has been done so many times that it isn't funny any more.

When an Atheist loses a debate to a fundamentalist Christian, it is a common tactic to accuse the Christian of being a parody. The Atheist is so full of pride, that he cannot imagine being outsmarted by a dumb God-Believer, so he thinks the Christian must be an Atheist like himself who is only pretending to be Christian. This is known as Tabor's Law.

Our situation is not helped by the fact that there is some atheist satirist who does an impression of our Pastor Deacon Fred at atheist conventions. People hear about him and start rumors that they are the same person and that the real Landover Baptist Church is also just a joke. Some Atheists go so far as to vandalize our church's Wikipedia page to say that we are a satire.

Here is a link to the version of the Landover Baptist Wikipedia article before the vandals got a hold of it.

[Roberta]

Re: Intro from an Okie

Let's cut to the chase here--did you vote for Sally Kern?

[Off Base]

Re: Intro from an Okie

Let's cut to the chase here--did you vote for Sally Kern?

Yuk! No! Never!

[Off Base]

Re: Intro from an Okie

Let's cut to the chase here--did you vote for Sally Kern?

I couldn't, even if I wanted to; I don't live in her district.

That being said, I despise that bitch and I am doing volunteer work for her opponent in the election. I would donate money, too, but I'm kinda broke.

[Jean Poole]

Re: Intro from an Okie

Are you a homer-lover?

I assure you, this is not satire! This is God's Favorite Forum ™, filled with some of the World's Best True Christians ™.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Intro from an Okie

A joke?

Yeah right! We've all got unlimited time on our hands! So we sit around all day and tell jokes. Please!

This is serious business here missy! We are trying to help as many people as we can see the truth about how wonderful and perfect Jesus is and what reading, and more importantly believing, God's perfect words in his KJV1611 can do for a person.

The only jokers here are the likes of you, coming in here pretending to be a man! You should be ashamed of yourself!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Intro from an Okie

We are neither. Take a look at THIS thread for a complete explanation of who we are. I paraphrase below:

That appears to be a direct quote, Pastor, not a paraphrase.

And a well-selected direct quote, I might add!