Hi there, I'm Martha

[Martha Chump]

Good morning, Landover Baptist, how are you today?

My name is Martha, I am a Sunday school teacher, and offer choir lessons over Zoom. I've been a believer of Christ since as far as I can remember, I believe God is the Truth, the Alpha and Omega and very entrenched in my faith. My favorite verse from the Bible comes from The Book of Psalm:
Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

With this assuring verse, I am always joyful, and rejoice in Christ's love ever single day.


My husband Peter and I attend Whole World In His Hands Baptist Sanctuary, he is the treasurer there and we are affiliated with Partners Of Sanctity: Sharing Heavenly Interfaith Together a non-profit organization that connects us with other churches, and we want to warmly extend ourselves to your church, and unite in common goals and fellowship. You may not have heard about our church, or outreach; I can assure we are 10,000 members strong, but mostly underground (i.e. outsourced). Our goal is to work with our friends and neighbors to bring President Trump's Great Vision for the United States of America into further reality, and abolish all institutions under Kennedy, Obama and Clinton into oblivion. This includes the reversal of same-sex marriage, and the criminalization and internment of homosexuals for their perverted crimes against God, by further extention, we wish to impune the same measures against all abortionists, murderers, pedophiles and non-believers. We believe you, Landover Baptist Church are committed to similar goals, so our interests could be aligned!


I am modest, God-fearing and promise not to trod on the wizened knowledge of menfolk, as I was raised not to. I wish you blessed day and may we talk soon.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Greetings and welcome to this Protestant forum. I also enjoy hearing the voice of the kids singing in church.



May i ask you why are you teaching if the Word of God forbids it?
(Timotheus 2:11-12) 11La donna impari in silenzio, con tutta sottomissione. 12Non concedo a nessuna donna di insegnare, né di dettare legge all'uomo; piuttosto se ne stia in atteggiamento tranquillo.



Anyway, for the rest i agree pretty much with you and hope that President Trump stays in office for the next four years as well, as Americans can't have Bidet to turn America into a worse Obamanation.


Cheers!

[WWJDnow]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Hello, Martha. That was a powerful introduction, and you sound like our kind of Christian. As long as you continue to have your husband's permission, you are very welcome here!

On question about your interfaith forum--it doesn't include any Jews or Muslims or Catholics or Methodists or Episcopalians, does it? We take the Biblical injunction to avoid those who worship false gods and idols very seriously. We will, however, gladly fellowship with members of white Baptist and Pentecostalist Bible-believing churches.

So how did a nice Christian woman wind up with a name like Chung? Did you marry a Chinaman?

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

(Timotheus 2:11-12) .... con tutta sottomissione.

Hello sir. I can't even read that. Come toot-toot sodom-missionary? Sounds fowl!

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Hello, Martha. That was a powerful introduction, and you sound like our kind of Christian. As long as you continue to have your husband's permission, you are very welcome here!

On question about your interfaith forum--it doesn't include any Jews or Muslims or Catholics, does it? We take the Biblical injunction to avoid those who worship false gods and idols very seriously. We will, however, gladly fellowship with members of white Baptist and Pentecostalist Bible-believing churches.

Thank you, Sir.


My husband is very rich and busy, and allots a scheduled time between my expected duties to use one of his monitored computers, for Christian purposes only. We won't allow our kids to do this until they're 21, and can handle the responsibility, though I seek them out now and then for occasional tech-savvy trouble-shooting.




No, we do not include Jews, Muslims, Catholics or Hindus, etc. That would go completely against our Mission Statement. We are not looking to pollute the purified Truth of Jesus Christ, with alternative falsehoods.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Another unsaved one here? Still, you seem to know your place under the male member of your household. Past menopause, eh? At least no-one has to clean the mess that your period juices would leave behind. What's the pie your husband likes best? Or can you bake Danish pastry? You do have a Scandinavian look. Ever been to Copenhagen? They are foul (sic! not flightless waterfowl) sinners but can make a wicked sandwich.

I have part Dutch, German ancestry. I've never left the US. I have little desire to visit Scandinavia, they are a doomed people; dominated by the left, be on your guard. They promulgate the national news (CNN) with liberal ideas, but I'm no dumb bunny.

My husband enjoys both hot apple and banana cream, he's versatile between the two.

[Phil Ander]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Welcome to this wonderful site. Joining with Jesus is the best thing that anyone can do.

Can I say, you remind me very much of an old friend of mine, Christine. I haven't caught up with her for quite a few years. Time to get back in touch.


Phil

[Isabella White]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Well, hello to you, dear Miss Martha, and to you I extend a most hospitable, warm We're so pleased that you have made your way here, to , in our blessed, little part of the vast interwebs galaxy, and it is my hope and prayer that you will be enriched by studying the glorious with the servants of the .

I do thank you for providing such a thorough, well-written introduction. Your favorite verse of Holy Scripture is one that has such meaning to so many of us here. And, I so appreciate your various comments about living for the .

Do feel free to browse around our friendly forums. You might, especially, like to visit Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women. There, you will find all sorts of helpful information about how to serve in a manner that pleases the most.

We look forward to getting to know you, Dear, here at , and I shall be more than happy to bring forth your name in prayer at today's Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Prayer Meeting, Bible Study and Tea & Social.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Welcome to this wonderful site. Joining with Jesus is the best thing that anyone can do.

Can I say, you remind me very much of an old friend of mine, Christine. I haven't caught up with her for quite a few years. Time to get back in touch.


Phil

That's very nice, Phil! I don't know any Christines, sadly!


Luke 1:61 And they said unto her, There is none of thy kindred that is called by this name.


Of course, this refers to John, but I know plenty of Johns.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Well, hello to you, dear Miss Martha, and to you I extend a most hospitable, warm We're so pleased that you have made your way here, to , in our blessed, little part of the vast interwebs galaxy, and it is my hope and prayer that you will be enriched by studying the glorious with the servants of the .

I do thank you for providing such a thorough, well-written introduction. Your favorite verse of Holy Scripture is one that has such meaning to so many of us here. And, I so appreciate your various comments about living for the .

Do feel free to browse around our friendly forums. You might, especially, like to visit Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women. There, you will find all sorts of helpful information about how to serve in a manner that pleases the most.

We look forward to getting to know you, Dear, here at , and I shall be more than happy to bring forth your name in prayer at today's Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Prayer Meeting, Bible Study and Tea & Social.

Thank you for the lovely welcome, Mrs. White! That made my day!


I hope to fellowship more with you too, and to slowly share more of myself with the other Christian women here, and reciprocate in kind.

1 Thessalonians 5:11


Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Thank you, Sir.


My husband is very rich and busy, and allots a scheduled time between my expected duties to use one of his monitored computers, for Christian purposes only. We won't allow our kids to do this until they're 21, and can handle the responsibility, though I seek them out now and then for occasional tech-savvy trouble-shooting.




No, we do not include Jews, Muslims, Catholics or Hindus, etc. That would go completely against our Mission Statement. We are not looking to pollute the purified Truth of Jesus Christ, with alternative falsehoods.

Where is your husband and how come you have the time to prattle mindlessly about nothing significant?
If you are so rich, why don't you give to Jesus for the blessing God has provided. I do not see your name on the rolls, not even as a Tin Tither® All the other gooks that claim to be Christians are on the books.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Where is your husband and how come you have the time to prattle mindlessly about nothing significant?
If you are so rich, why don't you give to Jesus for the blessing God has provided. I do not see your name on the rolls, not even as a Tin Tither® All the other gooks that claim to be Christians are on the books.

Good evening Sir. I am merely a mouthpiece for my life partner.


He very much wishes to extend his bountiful account and give to Jesus and Landover. Kindly provide the right account details for us, and he will set up a pre-authorized instalment plan.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Belonging to an "interfaith alliance" disqualifies you from acceptance into Landover Baptist Church. We have nothing in common with other so called "Christians."

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Belonging to an "interfaith alliance" disqualifies you from acceptance into Landover Baptist Church. We have nothing in common with other so called "Christians."

Yes Mayor, You are 'right with Jesus'. Your keen eye and astute insights always uncovers malfeasance, be it in city hall or in the back alleys behind a men's club.
It almost makes me weep, thinking about false Christians and 'pick N choosers' who dig deep for passages that suits their flavor of the month just as a child eats nose drippings.

[Isabella White]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Belonging to an "interfaith alliance" disqualifies you from acceptance into Landover Baptist Church. We have nothing in common with other so called "Christians."

Oh, I am afraid that I had over-looked that when I gave Miss Martha my cordial welcome -- goodness, me! "Interfaith"?!! Interfaith, with what other groups? bound, Mary-worshiping Cathyolicks?? Oh, this will never do -- no, no, no! It just goes to show, dear Brother Mayor Hold, how careful we must be. I mean, we can't let just anybody waltz in through our fortified gates at ! I do thank you for being so sharp with your observances, Dear -- you've most likely saved us from a bit of a mess.