[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Isn't Chung a chink name? You didn't accidentally find yourself wed to a chinaman, did you? That almost happened to me once. I was lucky to have the good people of LBC point out the anatomical features my face blindness had missed.

Deuteronomy 7:3Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

Thank you for pointing out the evident, sir. It is true, I wed into Oriental-American domiciliary. Our wealth is built upon a China-based Bible printing empire; bulk Bible exports marketed for mass demand in desolate countries. Peter was so clever, he bought out a cigarette factory and converted it for Godly purposes, in an otherwise atheistic, communist dictatorship.

[Isabella White]

Re: interfaith

As you enter our faith sanctuary, you will find each chamber is further vacuum sealed, encasing believers in, and keeping the corona out! No masks are necessary, in fact, are highly discouraged, for the low air pressure might cause unwanted suffocation. (Ventilation is in next years budget.)

Vacuum sealed?! Dear Miss Martha, a sanctuary is a place where one worships the with all one's heart, in true reverence and dedication -- not a place where one engages in activities akin to kitchen preparation tasks and chop-chop activity!



And, where is your faith in the first place? I'm surprised that you would take part in such commotion, considering that it is the Almighty's preference to protect beloved children (assuming one is a dedicated , first and foremost.)

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the , and their righteousness is of me, saith the ."

[Des]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Thank you for pointing out the evident, sir. It is true, I wed into Oriental-American domiciliary. Our wealth is built upon a China-based Bible printing empire; bulk Bible exports marketed for mass demand in desolate countries. Peter was so clever, he bought out a cigarette factory and converted it for Godly purposes, in an otherwise atheistic, communist dictatorship.

So now you are going to hell and the chinks are using Bible pages to roll their tobacco in now that the cigarette factories all shut down. Hmmm!


Just don't go marrying your whelp off to decent, hard working Americans. But if your daughters should need employment in a clean, Godly environment, I am always willing to suffer the presence of slants as domestic staff.

[Martha Chump]

Re: interfaith

Vacuum sealed?! Dear Miss Martha, a sanctuary is a place where one worships the with all one's heart, in true reverence and dedication -- not a place where one engages in activities akin to kitchen preparation tasks and chop-chop activity!



And, where is your faith in the first place? I'm surprised that you would take part in such commotion, considering that it is the Almighty's preference to protect beloved children (assuming one is a dedicated , first and foremost.)

Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the , and their righteousness is of me, saith the ."

Oh hello Mrs. White! Please don't mistake me. I'd never raise a tongue against Our Beloved Lord! My faith is nurtured by heeding to Our Lord!

Romans 10:17 - So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

I have to say, I love how pure and clean the King James Version text is - poetic even!

Take this beautifully written verse.

Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them


The text is written with dripping rich description.


Whereas, say the Contemporary English Version sounds like it was spoken by your average Karen from the Middle East.


"It's disgusting for men to have sex with one another, and those who do will be put to death, just as they deserve."

[Martha Chump]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Do tell us more of your life among the savages of New England while we await the report from the Security Ministry on your background.


God Bless!

I feel a strong disconnect - the affluence of our town is wasted on material pursuits of this world. Peter has photo documented the neighbours kids, which we keep under watch in hopes to bring them to Jesus and parlay the youth to take back our hood for Christ.

[Basilissa]

Re: interfaith

The vacuum seal existed well before COVID. It's there to keep that great big Jesus-y essence perma-sealed within the sanctum. Occasional anal sneezes and the mixing of bodily odors create a milieu aroma that makes one say, "Smells like Holy Ghost!"

I'm glad that I'm not a member of your congregation, sweetie. While it's true that God likes a good fart, your congregation seems to have been some sort of OCD freaks even before the coronapanic struck. That is quite pathetic.

I guess I should give you a few minutes of my prayer, but I really can't spare the time, my sourdough starter needs feeding.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: interfaith

my sourdough starter needs feeding.

Have you tried using fermented hops? Cram some in a bottle with a little sugar and keep in a warm place. You'll need to tie the corks down otherwise they'll pop out.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Contemporary English Version(s)

Did you know many of them leave out important verses altogether? It's an attempt to placate catholicism, islam probably, zen-type mumbojumbo; who knows what future plans these "translators" have to incorporate heresies (and outright demon worship) into what they see as the fold of Christendom but which no-one else would ever know was supposed to be a Church.

It's best not to read them at all, unless for instance it's necessary to see what the Roman heretics have done to The Ten Commandments or something. It revolts me.

[Martha Chump]

Re: interfaith

Have you tried using fermented hops? Cram some in a bottle with a little sugar and keep in a warm place. You'll need to tie the corks down otherwise they'll pop out.

I don't tend to endorse anything made by the French, but they do have delicious cuisine. Sourdough goes nicely with a bit of escargot avec crème fraîche?

I once tried making sourdough. Dear, oh dear, too much alkaline in a blistering heat. I came to the kitchen finding a blob engorging Peter's Sunday notes I absent-mindedly left on the counter. I was disciplined appropriately thereafter.

[Basilissa]

Re: interfaith

Have you tried using fermented hops? Cram some in a bottle with a little sugar and keep in a warm place. You'll need to tie the corks down otherwise they'll pop out.

No, whole wheat works well for me.

Whole wheat honey walnut bread
2 cups whole wheat starter (fed 12 hours earlier)
3 cups whole wheat flour (spelt works well, too)
3 cups unbleached all purpose flour (proportions of white/whole wheat flour can be altered according to personal taste, but need to add up to 6 cups)
2 and 1/2 cup warm water
2 heaping tsp salt
2 cups chopped walnuts
2 heaping tbsp honey

Combine starter, flours, and water. Autolyse for half and hour, then add remaining ingredients and knead. Let rise for 4 hours. Place in molds, let rise another hour. Preheat oven to 450 F. Slash the surface of the loaves before placing in the oven. Bake for 40 minutes or until crust is nicely crispy.

The recipe is for 2-3 loaves.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

I don't tend to endorse anything made by the French, but they do have delicious cuisine. Sourdough goes nicely with a bit of escargot avec crème fraîche?

I once tried making sourdough. Dear, oh dear, too much alkaline in a blistering heat. I came to the kitchen finding a blob engorging Peter's Sunday notes I absent-mindedly left on the counter. I was disciplined appropriately thereafter.

PETER'S TRIPLE VISION

When God speaks to us it's always unmistakeable. Although, due to the unusual way they're cultivated and harvested in France, snails are a dish I've avoided so far; sadly I can't say the same for frogs which, much like rabbit, when served in the provençale style become quite edible. The point is that when in France I will eat French food and buy a Citroën and drive like a maniac (otherwise you'll just get run into) (except in Paris where mostly they just sit there staring at one another, gabbling and gesticulating wildly, all having driven simultaneously into the middle of a five-way intersection) or in England eat English food, the roast beef is excellent BTW, buy an English car and zoom around at 120MPH (they won't actually crash into the back of you but when overtaking look at you in a serious manner) anyway you get the idea.

Acts 10:10-16 And he [Peter] became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance, and saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common. This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven.

God had an important message for Cornelius, a Roman centurion in charge of "The Italian Band" at Caesarea. What could God do? Some very unusual food was likely to be served if any visitors turned up and if Peter was that visitor there'd be a conflict with Peter's dietary restrictions revealed on a temporary basis at the time of Moses. Not all of God's commandments apply universally, for example the requirement not to look back applied to a specific time and place which is spelled out quite clearly but did she listen? No! Lot's wife looked back and ZAP! pillar of salt. But it's OK to check the rear-view mirror for glaring English drivers: this was a temporary prohibition applying to a specific time and place. Dietary restrictions are another example and this is where they expired.

God decided the best way to inform Cornelius was to send an angel to tell him where to go to find Peter. Knowing that soon Peter would be visiting Cornelius, God sent another message to Peter explaining about the food. This revelation was transmitted three times altogether just to make sure Peter, and therefore we, got the message. Message received! But there was still the message for Cornelius, who'd sent two of his household servants and a devout soldier of them† with a message (for Peter) (from Cornelius) that he (Cornelius) wanted to see him (Peter) and because The Holy Spirit had given Peter a separate message (other than the one about the food) that it was OK to go with the three men (one of whom was a Roman soldier) off they all went. You see no matter what obstacles there may be, God always overcomes.

But Cornelius has not got his..message yet (other than the message that someone [Peter] has a message for him [Cornelius]) and so, after journeying back to Caesarea with the three men, Peter arrived with that message and delivered it because he (Peter) (and Cornelius too in this case) trusted God. What for us would seem too complicated an ordeal to even assume that Peter's message (from God) would get through at all, for God it became simplicity itself.

After the journey, refreshments would be served and Peter knew everything gonna be alright, even if it was escargots à la provençale.



____________

† Acts 10:7

[WWJDnow]

Re: interfaith

The recipe is for 2-3 loaves.

Which is about half of what you need to feed a multitude, assuming you have a spare fish lying around the house. Matthew 14:17-20

[The Rev. Dwight Williams]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

I don’t trust this new lady at all.

She claim she got her husband’s permission to post on these here forums, but I’m told she still ain’t faxed over the permissory documents to be signed by her husband.

It’s one thing to claim your husband gave you permission, and another thing to prove it.

Perhaps even more upsetting is her stated last name, “Chung.” That there is a CHINESE name. The Chinese hate America, hate our freedoms and would stop at nothing to infiltrationize authentic institutions like Landover.

That includes having Chinese females undergo cosmetic procedurations to make them look like blonde white ladies. Beware this Chinese woman and her plots!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Hi there, I'm Martha

Oh I thought she might be French. But since we're talking Asia, I've heard they do more than just hair. Did you know you can get your teeth drilled in India for $cheap? But invariably back home after a month or two you need to have them all pulled out and done properly.

You can even have advanced surgery (organ transplants and stuff) done in China (they have plenty of donors on stand-by all classified by tissue type) but the same thing; when you get home it all falls out or something I have no idea why they can't see it coming.

Christians do not need operations.