[Bob4God]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Maybe we should keep Jethro around long enough to see if he actually is a True Christian™. If he is, he will quit typing like he does, and if he isn't, the problem will eventually clear up on its own.

You just stepped out of quarantine and you're already telling the Godly pastors how to run their own forums.

Brother Portway, I do agree that it is our job to set a high standard for Christianity today, but my fear is that the pure, simple nature of the south has been singled out by liberals and painted as negative, along with all the family values we hold.

Brother J.H., it is rather unfair of you to say that my attitude will lead to the overtaking of America at the bean-stained hands of our dirty neighbors to the south. I have been very active in protesting the Mexican onslaught every year on that Cinco De Mayo nonsense. I would often march down the streets with my youth group waving American flags and sporting signs that read, "make bombs, not burritos!"

[Jethro]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Praise Jesus! Another one for the Lord! Welcome to God's Favorite Forum™ sir! Tell me, how did you discover us? Were you sent by God himself?

Brother Portway I am on a mission given to me by God and yes he showed me this forum in a vision. My mission is rather sensitive in nature and I am reluctant to reveal it just yet. It will eventually be revealed all in Gods time.

All here seem to be truly of the Lord and that is refreshing.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Since you are being so insistent Captain I will assume the speaking voice I use when in Washington DC manipulating lobbying congressmen. It's not my natural voice but I have learned to adapt to yankees.

Maybe there's hope for you yet!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Since you are being so insistent Captain I will assume the speaking voice I use when in Washington DC manipulating lobbying congressmen. It's not my natural voice but I have learned to adapt to yankees.

This is a fine forum filled with love for our Lord and Savior® and I feel comfortable here. As we go forward I will reveal my true Mission From God© that has been given to me to save this fine country of ours.

Yours in Salvation,
Jethro

Praise Jesus! Another one for the Lord! Welcome to God's Favorite Forum™ sir! Tell me, how did you discover us? Were you sent by God himself?

[Jethro]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Since you are being so insistent Captain I will assume the speaking voice I use when in Washington DC manipulating lobbying congressmen. It's not my natural voice but I have learned to adapt to yankees.

This is a fine forum filled with love for our Lord and Savior® and I feel comfortable here. As we go forward I will reveal my true Mission From God© that has been given to me to save this fine country of ours.

Yours in Salvation,
Jethro

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Well sir, I am sorely troubled that y'all are offended, I apologise. I know y'all are one of them high falootin' pilots and all. Y'all and them tower fellers you talk to probably don't talk like a good ol' southern boy does.

I'm just a lowly cement truck driver but it pays the bills and provides for my beautiful wife and children.

Y'all have a fine day,
Jethro

Jethro, Jethro, Jethro, What are we going to do with you?

I'd be willing to meet you halfway on this.

Ah kin be talkin like a idjit to. but this ain't no way fer a god-feerin man to be a writin in sich a godly forim. it is jist stoopid and lazee to be a writin lik dis.

-OR-

I can be talkin' like an idjit too! But this ain't no way for a God-fearin' man to be writin' in such a Godly forum. It is just stupid and lazy to be writin' like this!

Please at least make an effort sir. Even a Salt o' the Earth type like you would have to agree that the second line is easier to read, but still has that backwoods charm, correct? You don't want to end up in Hell just because you were too lazy to learn to spell probably.

[Brother J.H.]

Re: Howdy Y'all

I agree with Mr. Portway, Bob. It is exactly your attitude that is going to end up making Americans have to speak Mexicant or Muslim oneday. We can not allow any butchering of God's favourite language or your kids will be singing the Star Spangled Banner in Mexicant or Muslim before you know it.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Maybe we should keep Jethro around long enough to see if he actually is a True Christian(tm). If he is, he will quit typing like he does, and if he isn't, the problem will eventually clear up on its own.

[Nobar King]

Re: Howdy Y'all

I still think his fingers are just broken.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Brothers,

Let's cut Jethro here some slack. I'm sure like many of us, he was homeschooled by Godly parents who did their best.

Besides, his manner of speaking reminds me of the good old days when I was a youngin' in Kansas.

And Brother Portway, I assure you there is nothing more American than the way Jethro speaks! You need to step off the airplane more often when you land in the glorious south!

I will not cut some backwoods loser any more slack than I would YOU if you started talking like him!

We have to set an example here! God and the Baby Jesus hate it when ANYBODY butchers his favorite language. And we'd certainly be doing this inbred doofus a favor if we taught him that "shur" is spelled s-u-r-e.

I'm not looking to take the "hick charm" out of him, I'd just like him to spell correctly; at least words that can be spelled correctly. I might let him slide on y'all. But we'd certainly be doing him a favor by bringing him closer to the Lord by letting him know that "guvment" "inffen" (and I can only assume that here he meant "iffen") and "jest" only make his posts harder to read.

And Jethro, if you must leave the 'g's off the ends of words, please add an apostrophe. As in “I'm gettin' ready to learn you some right fine ways to be a praisin' our sweet Lord!”

[Bob4God]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Brothers,

Let's cut Jethro here some slack. I'm sure like many of us, he was homeschooled by Godly parents who did their best.

Besides, his manner of speaking reminds me of the good old days when I was a youngin' in Kansas.

And Brother Portway, I assure you there is nothing more American than the way Jethro speaks! You need to step off the airplane more often when you land in the glorious south!

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Howdy Mr Fool,

Nossir I am white as the driven snow.

Y'all are a Quarantine Trustee, what the heck is that ?

Y'all have a fine day,
Jethro

I'm not speaking to you again until you quit speaking ebonics. You must be some kind of Obama supporter. Quarantine Trustee is my previous occupation. It was my job to snitch on turn in any sinners to the Pastors so that they could be disciplined accordingly. Since I'm no longer in Quarantine, it is implied that my position there is over.

[Jethro]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Howdy Mr Fool,

Nossir I am white as the driven snow.

Y'all are a Quarantine Trustee, what the heck is that ?

Y'all have a fine day,
Jethro

Look Jethro, we speak American English here, just like Jesus. What you're speaking looks like ebonics. Are you a colored?

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Look Jethro, we speak American English here, just like Jesus. What you're speaking looks like ebonics. Are you a colored?

[Jethro]

Re: Howdy Y'all

Listen hick, this is God's Favorite Forum™, and we speak God's Favorite Language here, American English. I really don't give "two shakes of a lamb's tail" about how you and your under-educated hillbilly "pals" talk "thereabouts".

If you must use that colloquial way of speaking, at least spell the words themselves correctly. I have taken the liberty of correcting the just the spelling in your posts above. If you really love Jesus, you will study, or "cipher" them. Maybe you should print this post out to use as a reference for later.

From now on, spell correctly or suffer the wrath of an angry God. As it says here:


Surely the serpent will bite without enchantment; and a babbler is no better.

The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will swallow up himself.

The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk is mischievous madness.

Ecclesiastes 10:11-13

Learn to speak American English or God won't understand you, and worse yet, you will not understand God and he will turn you into a madman! Amen!

Wellsir I am sorely troubled that y'all are offended, I apologise. I know y'all are one of them high falootin pilots and all. Y'all and them tower fellers you talk to probly don't talk like a good ol southern boy does.

I'm just a lowly cement truck driver but it pays the bills an provides for my beautiful wife an children.

Y'all have a fine day,
Jethro