Hi guys!!!!

[Elder Holiday]

Hey guys!!!!

I am new to this forum. I was referred here by someone in my dorm here at Brigham Young University. I just got back from a 2 year mission to the Iran where I helped have untold thousands of souls save through the grace of Jesus Christ. My friend told me about this site and thought maybe I could save a fes souls here, too, when I am not in class or at work.

I am sure we will get along just fine. :-)

I say these things in Jesus's name. Amen.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

Maybe you could tell us a little about your mission. I'm sure all the other members are eager to hear your story.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

Hey guys!!!!

I am new to this forum. I was referred here by someone in my dorm here at Brigham Young University. I just got back from a 2 year mission to the Iran where I helped have untold thousands of souls save through the grace of Jesus Christ. My friend told me about this site and thought maybe I could save a fes souls here, too, when I am not in class or at work.

I am sure we will get along just fine. :-)

I say these things in Jesus's name. Amen.

Friend, you have to pick one: Jesus Christ or Brigham Young. What's it going to be?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

To "the" Iran, huh? Well, while you were gone, BYU sent an expedition of 'missionaries' to California. Upon arrival, all of them admitted to being Gay and began marrying each other. That's why the Marment church had to spend all it's ready cash getting Prop 8, the anti-fag initiative, passed ASAP.

We gave up on California some time ago. As long as we own most of it, let the qweers do whatever they want. When AIDS cleans up the state, we'll go back in. We are a bit confined in this 35,000 acre corner of the world and need liebens.....er...living space.

[Elder Holiday]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

Sure I can. I was living in the Iran for 2 years passing out copies of the Book of Mormon to all who were interested. Myself and my partner gave free Bible study and Book of Mormon study to all those who asked. We got many people baptised by our holy priesthood. There were so many lost souls there in Iran following the false prophet Mohammed. But we worked studiously and we got people saved. We had to be careful about spreading the word about Jesus Christ and his restored gospel through Joseph Smith, because they do stone people for that. Luckily we survived and now I am back doing studies in Brigham Young University.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

How many stones did you have to dodge?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

Sure I can. I was living in the Iran for 2 years passing out copies of the Book of Mormon to all who were interested. Myself and my partner gave free Bible study and Book of Mormon study to all those who asked. We got many people baptised by our holy priesthood. There were so many lost souls there in Iran following the false prophet Mohammed. But we worked studiously and we got people saved.

So you converted those poor towelheads from worshipping the false prophet Mohammed to worshipping the false prophet Joseph Smith? You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Elder Holiday]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

Friend, you have to pick one: Jesus Christ or Brigham Young. What's it going to be?

I don't worship Brigham Young, I worship Jesus Christ. Brigham Young was just a prophet on earth delivering God's word to the people through his revelations.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

I don't worship Brigham Young, I worship Jesus Christ. Brigham Young was just a prophet on earth delivering God's word to the people through his revelations.

No, he was just a mentalist delivering Joseph Smith's word to people as a way of scoring extra wives. What he wanted with so many wives is anyone's guess.

[Elder Holiday]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

To "the" Iran, huh? Well, while you were gone, BYU sent an expedition of 'missionaries' to California. Upon arrival, all of them admitted to being Gay and began marrying each other. That's why the Marment church had to spend all it's ready cash getting Prop 8, the anti-fag initiative, passed ASAP.

We gave up on California some time ago. As long as we own most of it, let the qweers do whatever they want. When AIDS cleans up the state, we'll go back in. We are a bit confined in this 35,000 acre corner of the world and need liebens.....er...living space.

Actually, our church was instrumental in getting Prop 8 passed so that we could protect marriage from being destroyed.

Nobar King,

We did not have to dodge any stones. Our words were well accepted by the people because they knew in their hearts that our church is the one true Church of Jesus Christ and that the book of Mormon is true.

Brother T,

We do not worship Joseph Smith. He was simply God's mouthpiece on earth for a period of time. We worship the son of God, Jesus Christ.

[Elder Holiday]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

No, he was just a mentalist delivering Joseph Smith's word to people as a way of scoring extra wives. What he wanted with so many wives is anyone's guess.

You can believe whatever you want, but if you pray to God he will give you a personal testimony that Jesus Christ is his son, that his gospel was restored by Joseph Smith, and that the LDS Church is his only True Church on earth.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

You can believe whatever you want, but if you pray to God he will give you a personal testimony that Jesus Christ is his son, that his gospel was restored by Joseph Smith, and that the LDS Church is his only True Church on earth.

Well, I have rarely read anything more blasphemous that that!

I hate to use one Blasphemer to disprove another, but it's the easiest way, since I don't have to go to the trouble.

http://www.spiritwatch.org/mosechist.htm

(We at Landover pride ourselves upon being 100% accurate, both biblically and historically. In order to be fair, I note that while Samuel Colt had a revolver patent as early as 1836, it was 1850 before an order of a thousand pistols by the Texas Rangers allowed him to start a factory. While a few Colt revolvers were produced prior to 1847, it is problematic as to whether John Smith-the-pedophile-in-chief could have acquired one and had it secreted in his jail cell. He more probably had two or three cap-and ball muzzle-loading pistols, manufactured by SATAN, slipped to him by one of several dozen brainwashed women when it became obvious that GOD's justice was going to prevail on that day.)
-edited for correctness before JESUS!

[Elder Holiday]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

I have to go back to class guys, but I will leave you with a little light reading.

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/22/19-24#19

It is a story about a King who was so moved by the Holy Spirit that he fainted and then went on to convert the land to the LDS Church.

[Micah Boenheffer]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

. Myself and my partner gave free Bible study and Book of Mormon study to all those who asked.

You mean life partner right?

Also it would be my life partner and I.

Maybe they should start teaching a little grammar in your occultist Mormon madrasas.

[Micah Boenheffer]

Re: Hi guys!!!!

I have to go back to class guys, but I will leave you with a little light reading.

http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/22/19-24#19

It is a story about a King who was so moved by the Holy Spirit that he fainted and then went on to convert the land to the LDS Church.

ALMA!?!?

Could you not divine from your seer stones that I have no interest in the teachings of false prophets wizard!