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  • Corbenk
    • Jan 2007
    • 22
    #16
    Re: Are you kidding me.

    Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
    Well, perhaps you can have a joint Bible study.

    Just be sure to conduct it with one of your parents around, not all alone in your bedroom with the door closed. He might get some impure thoughts going, you see.

    Best to avoid temptation. Maybe meeting him at a library would be best!

    A splendid idea! Are there any specific passages you suggest we read?

      Comment

      • Mrs. Mary Whitford
        Ladies of Landover Senior VP
        One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
        Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2006
        • 12414
        #17
        Re: Are you kidding me.

        Originally posted by Corbenk View Post
        A splendid idea! Are there any specific passages you suggest we read?
        Start with Genesis and don't stop until you're finished Revelation!
        Posted via Prayer

        1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
        Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

        Blogging for CHRIST!
        Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
        All a-Twitter for Salvation!
        Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
        On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
        My Ladies of Landover profile!

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78553
            #18
            Re: Are you kidding me.

            Originally posted by Corbenk View Post
            A splendid idea! Are there any specific passages you suggest we read?
            Yes you little homers:

            Proverbs 6
            [16] These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
            [17] A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
            [18] An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
            [19] A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

            Pay special attention to the last one. A pair of lying perverted cannucks can really piss Jesus off.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Corbenk
                • Jan 2007
                • 22
                #19
                Re: Are you kidding me.

                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post

                Pay special attention to the last one. A pair of lying perverted cannucks can really piss Jesus off.
                I am perplexed by this comment. For one, Caleb is not a cannuck, but rather a southerner in louisiana. Secondly, I am not a lying cannuck, simply a dirty cannuck. However, I will be moving to the great United Stated of America as soon as I can emancipate my self of these parents!

                  Comment

                  • Enobarbus
                    Professor of English Landover University
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 3496
                    #20
                    Re: Are you kidding me.

                    Originally posted by Corbenk View Post
                    I am perplexed by this comment. For one, Caleb is not a cannuck, but rather a southerner in louisiana. Secondly, I am not a lying cannuck, simply a dirty cannuck. However, I will be moving to the great United Stated of America as soon as I can emancipate my self of these parents!
                    Your words show a faint hope that the Lord may be moved to include you amongst his Elite -- the Annointed -- the True Christians™ of Landover Baptist. But there is a long way to go and you must not blaspheme about his favourite church on these Holy boards or Pastor Pistle will invoke his Holy Gong and dispatch you to the wastes of cyber space forever cut off from Landover and Salvation©.
                    Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

                      Comment

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