Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

[CuriousKyle]

I want to change my life. I have sinned. Not murder, not fornication, or anything like that. I don't know what exactly my sins are, but I'm sure we all have a few (except for you guys that is, and for the ones you do have you repent for). I come to your forum seeking help. Religion of all kinds have alwas interested me, but this forum in particular is amazing. I don't know what it is about it but it feels like the Lord is right here with me as I'm typing.

I don't know where to start. I'm 19 years old from New York. I was raised in a Christian family, although never was baptized, and my family was never that religious. Anyway, I hope you won't label me as "Unsaved Trash" because I really have no idea whatsoever where to begin. For instance, gluttony. One of the seven deadly sins right? (Forgive me if you don't believe in those here, my knowledge of Christianity is limited. Anyway, assuming you do believe in them, I never really understood it. How does one gauge what is "too much"? Surely a man twice my size would eat twice as much as I would, right? So how do you guage that?

By the way, my favorite Biblical passage is Genesis 1:1, always has been, always will be. There are a few more, but that's the only one I have memorized (sadly). Seems like a nice place here. Praise the Lord!

-Kyle

[CuriousKyle]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Wow I'm Unsaved Trash already? Did I do something wrong or is that the default class for new members?

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

What are you babbling about ?

[CuriousKyle]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

I want to become a True Christian(tm) but have no idea where to start. That's basically what I was trying to get at. I just wanted to also tell you a little about myself.

[Eugene Hackwith]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Wow I'm Unsaved Trash already? Did I do something wrong or is that the default class for new members?

Well, you said yourself that you are a sinner and that you have not been baptized. You need to confess all of your dirty sins, no matter how small, to Jesus on His favorite forum, son.

You need to get baptized, too...you don't want to still have the stench of Original Sin on you when Jesus returns, do you?

[CuriousKyle]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Okay... I will. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction sir.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Okay... I will. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction sir.

Soooo what are they ? In explicit detail and with pictures.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Welcome to God's favorite forum, son. I hope you'll take some time to read THIS thread designed for newbies like yourself.

I'm glad to hear you're ready to turn your life over to Jesus. Please tell us about the perverse sins you've been wallowing in. Don't leave out any details; Jesus knows when you lie.

Once your DOF report comes through, you might have your status changed. Until then, remember to keep a civil tongue in your head and read through the many excellent threads on this forum. Stay clear of the degenerates; they plague us like locusts and will drag you down into hellfire.

[CuriousKyle]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

In the mean time, could one of you fellows explain what gluttony is? I never understood how you measure that, like I said in my original post.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

In the mean time, could one of you fellows explain what gluttony is? I never understood how you measure that, like I said in my original post.

Gluttony is eating like a pig and getting fatter than Jesus was. How fat are you? Tell us more about your sins.

By the way, we aren't mary worshiping papists here. The only "father" is our Heavenly father, God.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

The first picture of the twins is an example of gluttony. The second picture is of a frightening old woman who should be stoned for being a harlot.

Does that clear things up?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Friend, we are not ring-kissing, Mary-worshipping, Jesus-angering papists around here! If some man in a dress insists on getting you alone in a closet with him on a regular basis so you can tell him every dirty thought you've been having, run like the wind! The Lord is the ONLY one you should ever be alone in a closet with! EVER!

[CuriousKyle]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

Gluttony is eating like a pig and getting fatter than Jesus was. How fat are you? Tell us more about your sins.

By the way, we aren't mary worshiping papists here. The only "father" is our Heavenly father, God.

Not fat at all. Quite slim and slender, 120lbs, but also very short. 5'3. Anyway, my sins are that of a "normal", typical, teenager. Internet pornography and the like. Like I said, while my family was religious, they weren't all that religious, so I don't know much.

[Nobar King]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

There has to be more to you than that. Do you have a wife? Did you go hunting at least once this year? Do you sass back at your parents even though they failed you?

[CuriousKyle]

Re: Forgive me father, for I hath sinned

I do not have a wife. I haven't hunted. I have backsassed my parents, yes. Also I play violent video games from time to time, am ambidextrous, among some others. I don't know exactly, I just know I must have some. Ah yes, I have my earlobes pierced (I'm male, so that's bad right?) And I'm friends with people who are homosexual, although I am NOT one myself.

I'll try to think of more as they come, but I have to leave now. By the way, you guys don't think that 19 is just a little young to have a wife?