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  • #16
    Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

    Originally posted by Malachai Cone View Post
    I read the post, I just found the butchered language so vile that I responded, I admit, unfavorably. Vavoline, welcome! I'm curious, what kind of work do you do?
    Aint none yo bizzness. Eyes don talk to no unsaved trash dats full of da debil!
    Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

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    • #17
      Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

      Miss Valvoline though ethnically and grammatically challenged seems like a sweet lady. She reminds me of one of the house Negroes we owned employed while I was growing up. I remember she made excellent fried chicken and collard greens.

      I'm sure that after Miss Valvoline completes the ex-Negro program her communication skills will be vastly improved.

      Yours in Christ
      Brother Lazarus
      In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

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      • #18
        Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

        Originally posted by Brother Lazarus View Post
        I'm sure that after Miss Valvoline completes the ex-Negro program her communication skills will be vastly improved.
        Indeed. As True Christians™, we know that while lifestyle choices can be made casually over the morning coffee, unmaking them can take extensive (and expensive) ministering from highly trained pastors. We should therefore be patient, as befits our Christian humility and meekness.
        This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

        Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

        sigpic

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        • #19
          Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

          Yu bess wach yo tong da way yu be's talk'n bout Mama Johnson. She ain't come here ta be sass moufed by no onry city boy. Much less no lil ole whit boy. She be's here ta fellowship n da name o Jezus. She may not hav yo's school'n but she gots da only lernin that count and dat be da Bible.

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          • #20
            Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

            Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
            Yu bess wach yo tong da way yu be's talk'n bout Mama Johnson. She ain't come here ta be sass moufed by no onry city boy. Much less no lil ole whit boy. She be's here ta fellowship n da name o Jezus. She may not hav yo's school'n but she gots da only lernin that count and dat be da Bible.
            Yo mamma not bein sassed moufed in heayh Now yoous be a polite young buck and goes to post in dat intruductshun forum, Ya heyah?. Mebbies yoos can goes to dat Negro program at dat Landover wit Miss Vavoline. I bet she slap yoos face iffin she knowed yous was bein rood like dis.
            Y'all in Jeebus
            Bruduh Lazeris
            In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

            Comment

            • #21
              Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

              Originally posted by Damien Cross View Post
              Yu bess wach yo tong da way yu be's talk'n bout Mama Johnson. She ain't come here ta be sass moufed by no onry city boy. Much less no lil ole whit boy. She be's here ta fellowship n da name o Jezus. She may not hav yo's school'n but she gots da only lernin that count and dat be da Bible.
              Welcome to our Christian forum boy. Please make a thread of your own in the "introductions" section, and tell us about your sweaty, muscular, nubian self.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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              • #22
                Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

                Originally posted by Vavoline Johnson View Post
                I is Vavoline Jackson Johnson a good Cristan of memphis tennesee. I is employed by Miss Berfa C Fishler a joo woman. I haves a daughter Miss LeVitra Robinson a boy DaWahne and Sam a shifty niggra who got hisself all liccker up at the Landover last weekend. He done pissed all over Miss Berfa C Fishlers new rascal scooter. Now da Pastor Zek done tol me I couldnt wear my fancy house slippers no more to da landover church and he made me sits all da way in da back behind da fence. I tol that Laverda Coles ova an ova I needs to watch the home shoppin show and by me some fancy what Miss Berfa calls shmattas to be wearin next times we go. I have just gotten myselfs back from the Chittlin Chow down with Miss Laverda an wes hopin one of yous can pick us up in the Mr's pastas shiny new Caddilac this here Sunday. Just asks jezus an he will provide me an Miss Laverda!
                Praise da lawd and thankye baby Jezus!
                Miz Vav I am so happy to see you here!! I will be glad to give Laveda Coles the day off so you all can go to church tomorrow. Sorry about your man troubles. At least your husband isn't a joo like my Sal...Jesus Saves!!
                Last edited by D'Arlene Sepkowitz; 04-25-2009, 06:18 PM. Reason: spellin'

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                • #23
                  Re: Eyes Loves da Lawd!

                  Originally posted by D'Arlene Sepkowitz View Post
                  Miz Vav I am so happy to see you here!! I will be glad to give Laveda Coles the day off so you all can go to church tomorrow. Sorry about your man troubles. At least your husband isn't a joo like my Sal...Jesus Saves!!

                  Oh Ma Lawd its Miss D'Arlene! Lawd hab mercy! Whatcha doin here gal? Dis is da nigro section of da Lanober. Oh Lawdy, Eyes knows yous Sol. Him and does other joos Miss Lorri an Miss Berfa are a killin cristain babies, rights nows as wes speaks in Miss Lorris house. An someones done tole me days a drinkin da babys blood!
                  Anyways, tell ole Miss Leverda dat wes agoin to service tomorrows with LeVitra ifin she kin git her lazy ass outs of bed on time. Yous gonna makes yo tater salad agin? Next times keeps it cold so eyes don't get da bad bowels likin last time. Coulds barely gets to da terlet on time.
                  Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

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