Yes, it is me, the one and only

[JoeJackson]

You know who I am. It is me, Michael's dad RIP

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Welcome to God's favorite forum, Mr. Jackson.

Too bad your boy is burning in hell right now. You should have beat him more often, as the Bible commands.

Are you looking for a place to park your millions tithe to Jesus? If so, Landover Baptist is the right choice!

[JoeJackson]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Damn kid had too much money, I could not get past security once he was 10. I know he is burning in Hell like milk fed veal. But lighten up (at least do not use the last name, perhaps a code) as I have some new explotationheart warming music I want to produce and I need to lower the heat some, you dig?

[JoeJackson]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

You know Pastor, if we could come to some sort of arrangement, perhaps we both could make out.


I was passing through Landover the other day and I found a wallet full of cash, I think it is yours .............

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Welcome Mr. Jackson! I must say I am honored and humbled to be in your presence!

You know, I think you get a bad rap in the liberal press about how you brought up Michael. You were just a loving father, trying to raise him up to a good, straight young man. But when he got older he rebelled; starting using hyperbaric chambers to extend life, having unnatural relations with Bubbles the chimp, molesting child stars Emmanuel Lewis of "Webster" fame and Macaulay Culkin, wearing medical masks and using umbrellas in day time, etc. etc. etc. I look back and think, "You know, maybe Joe could've done a little bit more?" Perhaps just a bit more beatings and possibly some cigarette burns or making him sleep naked in the doghouse on a chilly winter night might've been enough to get him set on a straight and narrow course.

Nonetheless, we're happy to have you here, Joe! One good thing that has come out of his death is that you will be able to profit tremendously live comfortably from all the income generated by his estate, the commemorative albums, and the cash cow that is the deceased Michael Jackson. Why, Elvis was flat near broke before he kicked the bucket, and now to this day he is the highest-paid dead celebrity. Undoubtedly, Michael will claim not only the King of Pop title, but the King of Dead Celebrity Revenue!

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

You know who I am. It is me, Michael's dad RIP

Well, my consoladations to you and yo fambly Mr Joe. Praise Baby Jeesus you found yo way ober to Landover and chances are you ain't gonna follow in da footsteps of dat freak child o yours and go to Hell.
It's nice fo you to take time from selling tickets to yo boys viewing to stop by and see us..

[ObservationOnly]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Interestingly enough, the Jackson family are well known Jehovah's Witness.
What made you turn away from them?

[JoeJackson]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Well, my consoladations to you and yo fambly Mr Joe. Praise Baby Jeesus you found yo way ober to Landover and chances are you ain't gonna follow in da footsteps of dat freak child o yours and go to Hell.
It's nice fo you to take time from selling tickets to yo boys viewing to stop by and see us..

Why thank you Missus Johnson. I heard about your husband Sam passing, that is a shamshame. I do hope you can go on with his life insurance proceedswithout him.

I've emailed you some tickets for the Micheal Jackson viewing spectacular. These are for the September [s]show[/]memorial. You'll notice I only charge your bank account half price, under the circumstances of us both losing someone so near and dear.

[JoeJackson]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Interestingly enough, the Jackson family are well known Jehovah's Witness.
What made you turn away from them?

Now, why do you have to bring denomination into this. The Jackson Five family reaches out to all people with money of all denominations like 50's and 100's.
I did not turn away from no fool with moneymy religion.

[JoeJackson]

Re: Yes, it is me, the one and only

Just wanted to remind all the fine folks of Landover, I still got tickets to tomorrows big showmemorial. Half price and VIP parking for Landover True Christians. It is my way of giving back. There will be gift pavilions located throughout the event where you can purchase some fine memorabilia like:
the trademark glove ($35.00, $30.00 to folks from Landover)
the yid curly cue ($25.00, $23.00 to folks from Landover)
the bad ass hat ($95.00, $80.00 to folks from Landover)
And my personal favorite, the Michael Jackson "Stages of my Life" mask collection. Each mask is an accurate duplication (made from molds of his actual face) of MJ's facial appearance. These are true to life professional items, not dollar store knock-offs. Wear one of these and your friends will truly think they have seen a ghost. I've been wearing one from time to time over the last few days, the laughs I get a are priceless. Hehehe, my favorite was when I lay down on the table in the LA autopsy room. I shoved MJ back in the cooler, Jermaine (he is such a wuss) came in to see Michael. I sprung up and went boo! Hehehe, that boy went as white as MJ. I know this is what Micheal would of wanted, to see people laugh, I am doing my best to carry on his legacy. Now, being these here masks are so life like they even fooled a family member, they are not cheap at $950.00 a set ($875.00 for you folks). The original price was supposed to be much higher but I found some Chinky folks that could do it on the cheap. Apparently there was some Hasbro toy factory that got shut down last fall that was just sitting there.

Now, to purchase any of these items, simply use the Landover Pay Pal system (locate at the bottom of your screen). Being the money is coming in though Landover, we will automatically provide these fine items at the special price. And, if you act now and but them all, you may take an additional 10% off your order. Please, do not forget to include S&H.