Introducing: A Scientist with a mind for God

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Hello True Christians(TM),

I feel that an introduction is in order.... I am a student at a sick-ular institution in the Northeastern corner of America here. While you may recoil in horror and emotional pain at the thought, I feel that I am a diamond in the midst of swine here, as I try to spread the Holy Word of God(tm) to the heathens that about here. I actually happen to be ministering in Massachusetts at the moment, and am doing my best to influence the local courts to re-outlaw gay marriage (seeing two loving men or women expressing affection for each other is an abomination both to ME and to God -- I would posit that there are more of these "loving gay couples" than there are wives and their submissive slaves wives). Unfortunately the laws have degraded so far from God's laws that it is now a "hate crime" to inform the homers just how much God hates them and to demonstrate how their skin will be charred from the fires in the pits of hell!

I also would like to be an advisor on all things scientifical, wherein I will use information from the 1611 King James Version Bible to answer any and all questions. As a student at one of the LIEberal elite colleges (in my mission to spread the Gospel (Godspel), I felt that I should go straight to the top of the heathen organization. Although the professors do not like it, I stand for what is RIGHT and what is TRUE -- namely anything in the King James Bible. I am currently trying to get my school bookstore to sell only Bibles, but they just won't listen to reason!

I can use every bit of support in living out God's order to Spread The Good News(TM), a la Great Commission (GO). While the forces of evil attempt to destroy me and wear me down, I know that my mansion awaits me in HEAVEN(tm) where there will be no homers, joos, cathylicks or negroes/messycans/non-alabaster-whites -- what a paradise that will be!

Anyways, I wanted to introduce myself to the other Godly folks here and to hope to be welcomed into the fold as a True Christian that preaches solely from the KJV1611 (are there any other versions?! Just kidding, I know that there are -- and they are all written by godless heathens!)

If there are any questions you have for me, my life is an open book (to God / Landover Baptist True Christians(TM)), so just ask me and I will answer accordingly.

-Jo(h)n "Wesley" F.

[Brother_Mike]

Welcome friend.

If there are any questions you have for me, my life is an open book (to God / Landover Baptist True Christians(TM)), so just ask me and I will answer accordingly.

What kind of weapons do you own?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Well son, I'd say you are wasting your money. Every penny you hand over to the communists who run your university is a slap in the face to Jesus. I'd advise you to march right into the admissions office and demand a full refund. Then take that cash, plus all the rest of your liquid assets, along with those of your parents, and hit the Paypal button.

The only way to get Saved is to please Jesus, buddy. And nothing will please Him more than to get you out of that den of iniquity and to fill the coffers here at LBC. The team of jews who do our books are standing by.

Right after you have transferred everything you and your parents own to our account, I'd hitch a ride right out of Messychutsets right pronto if I were you. Jesus could decide to take that entire state out at any moment.

[SalvationSeeker]

Welcome friend.

What kind of weapons do you own?

A good question, Brother Mike.
You cannot trust a man who have no weapons, as I always say.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

What kind of weapons do you own?

I carry this on me at all times:


It is useful for hitting those dodgy negros that are ever-present in this area. Four shots generally gives me a good spread for self defense of the Spirit.

For heavy duty heathen control (ie Gay Pride events, Pro-Israel rallies, etc), I carry a manly M16 automatic rifle with a 36x magnification scope (sometimes when I am on a balcony on the 42nd floor of a building I need to "quiet down" a street-walker).

And to keep things quiet (the police here are very anti-guns -- apparently they want "permits" for them), I have an array of crossbows with razor-tipped arrows coated with a cyanide concoction (for faster action -- heathens abound here, so I need to drop them in one shot. Can't risk having them find backup).

If there are Godly firearms that you can recommend to me, they are much appreciated!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Well son, I'd say you are wasting your money. Every penny you hand over to the communists who run your university is a slap in the face to Jesus. I'd advise you to march right into the admissions office and demand a full refund. Then take that cash, plus all the rest of your liquid assets, along with those of your parents, and hit the Paypal button.

The only way to get Saved is to please Jesus, buddy. And nothing will please Him more than to get you out of that den of iniquity and to fill the coffers here at LBC. The team of jews who do our books are standing by.

Right after you have transferred everything you and your parents own to our account, I'd hitch a ride right out of Messychutsets right pronto if I were you. Jesus could decide to take that entire state out at any moment.

Surely dealing God's Holy Wrath(tm) has no price? Luckily I have been Blessed(c) by the Baby Jesus(tm), who has allowed me to use the ungodly "system" against itself! I have worked a deal where the ungodly citizens of the state are paying for me to spread God's Holy Wrath all over the state! Jesus enabled me to slip one past the jewish accountants here at school -- praise His Holy Name! Anything is possible to those that Love Him!

We can only hope that God does decide to deal His Punishment on these heathens here -- I am here in the hopes of quickening His Return to Kick Ass(c). If He chooses to destroy the state, I am joyful in knowing that I will ascend to Heaven to continue God's Work: taunting those in HELL. Praise!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

I say GLORY!!!! and welcome kindered spirit! May you thrive and grow with the love of JESUS and the fellowship that LBC has to offer!

PRAISE HIM!

with love, Sister Thumper

[SalvationSeeker]

I carry this on me at all times:


It is useful for hitting those dodgy negros that are ever-present in this area. Four shots generally gives me a good spread for self defense of the Spirit.

For heavy duty heathen control (ie Gay Pride events, Pro-Israel rallies, etc), I carry a manly M16 automatic rifle with a 36x magnification scope (sometimes when I am on a balcony on the 42nd floor of a building I need to "quiet down" a street-walker).

And to keep things quiet (the police here are very anti-guns -- apparently they want "permits" for them), I have an array of crossbows with razor-tipped arrows coated with a cyanide concoction (for faster action -- heathens abound here, so I need to drop them in one shot. Can't risk having them find backup).

If there are Godly firearms that you can recommend to me, they are much appreciated!

Well, these seem allright.. But is that a tiny little Derringer I see in the picture?
In that case, that's a no no..


Although this might not be the right thread to discuss our manly equipment.. I will give you an example of Godly firearms.
(Maybe a thread could be started in a forum like Promise Enforcers for us to discuss our equipment.)

I have a pair of heavily modified Desert Eagle .50AE pistols, fitted with extended magazines (20rounds each) and converted to full-auto.
I've also fitted them with laser sights.
The Godly noise and damage they cause when fired until empty is glorious.

I try to never leave home without them.
Mind you, their recoil might prove a bit too much for some people (feminine sissies of men) however.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

If that is a derringer, then it is indeed a female hippy version of my sawed-off shotgun version of it. It weighs a manly 18lbs and is about 4 Godly feet long. Its recoil is indeed substantial, but I just remind myself of how thankful I am Saved(r) so that it isn't aimed at me! Praise!

[SalvationSeeker]

If that is a derringer, then it is indeed a female hippy version of my sawed-off shotgun version of it. It weighs a manly 18lbs and is about 4 Godly feet long. Its recoil is indeed substantial, but I just remind myself of how thankful I am Saved(r) so that it isn't aimed at me! Praise!

That sounds alot better, Brother.
A Godly firearm indeed.

And although I have seen you on these forums before this introduction, Welcome.

[Andreas]

I am currently trying to get my school bookstore to sell only Bibles, but they just won't listen to reason!

Free will as given by GOd himself.

__________________________________

I have a question for you:

When a professor ask you something about, I don't know, DNA or evolution, do you answer them according to God's or secular word?

If you always answer as the Bible says how come they haven't expelled you yet?

If you don't answer as the Bible... It's a good thin to have spies in there.
I trust only Jesus

[Talitha]

Free will as given by GOd himself.

__________________________________

I have a question for you:

When a professor ask you something about, I don't know, DNA or evolution, do you answer them according to God's or secular word?

If you always answer as the Bible says how come they haven't expelled you yet?

If you don't answer as the Bible... It's a good thin to have spies in there.
I trust only Jesus

Brother Johnfish is more than prepared for the lies that may be thrown at him whilst he attends this Sicular so-called "School". He has made an ultimate sacrifice by being there amongst these Demons, that's why I pray for him daily.

As a True Christian he will be persecuted as we all are by the outside world.
Persecuted for telling the Truth about The word of our Lord.

Thankfully, aside from JohnFish an un-named few, the remainder of our students attend School in Freehold itself where they can be shielded from such lies about evilution and taught the Truth about our Lord Jesus Christ.

Praise.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Free will as given by GOd himself.

__________________________________

I have a question for you:

When a professor ask you something about, I don't know, DNA or evolution, do you answer them according to God's or secular word?

If you always answer as the Bible says how come they haven't expelled you yet?

If you don't answer as the Bible... It's a good thin to have spies in there.
I trust only Jesus

And I have a question for you: Are you a foreigner, a retard or a nigra?

Those are the only 3 groups that I know of who so consistently abuse God's favorite language (American). I don't mean the occasional typo, which might be written off as spiteful demons at work. Rather I refer to your almost complete disregard for basic grammar and punctuation rules.

Jesus does not like sloppy thinking or sloppy writing. Get with the program buddy!

[Andreas]

Bruder Zeke, ich bin ein Ausländer!

Ich hoffe, dass du schon gefunden hast, dass ich kein Amerikaner bin!

Welche anderen Sprachen sprichst du, Zeke? Englisch vielleicht?
What foreign languages do you speak, Zeké?

Deutch ist meine Muttersprache
Französich lerne ich aufs Gymnasium
Englisch lerne ich auch aufs Gymnasium
Kroatish lerne ich zu hause.
Ich kann auch ein bisschen Russish sprechen.

Ich liebe Jesus

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Bruder Zeke, ich bin ein Ausländer!

Ich hoffe, dass du schon gefunden hast, dass ich kein Amerikaner bin!

Welche anderen Sprachen sprichst du, Zeke? Englisch vielleicht?
What foreign languages do you speak, Zeké?

Deutch ist meine Muttersprache
Französich lerne ich aufs Gymnasium
Englisch lerne ich auch aufs Gymnasium
Kroatish lerne ich zu hause.
Ich kann auch ein bisschen Russish sprechen.

Ich liebe Jesus

You have earned a warning point for that unGodly outburst. Transmitting demonic code in God's favorite forum will NOT be tolerated.

I'm gonna guess that you are both a foreigner AND a retard of some kind, based on the gobbeldy gook you have posted here.