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  • Prodigal Kyle
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Mar 2007
    • 14
    #16
    Re: Hello Friends

    Ok, i tell you the truth.

    I am currently in a bording home, after a bad bout with drugs and "booze". I was wandering the street one day, blind stincking drunk, when i came upon a small church. I thought, "hmmm maby they have some where for me to sleep." so i went in and in the middle of the night, "shot up" with heroin. I almost O.D.ed, and from then on i decided to make the best of my life.


    (the name comes from my long winded rambilings at bars and houses of "friends")

    I do hope the kind people of The landover Baptist Church can help me.

      Comment

      • Prodigal Kyle
        Unsaved trash
        Under Investigation
        • Mar 2007
        • 14
        #17
        Re: Hello Friends

        also Sister Mary Maria, that is a quite amusing little picture you have.

          Comment

          • Talitha
            Deaconess
            Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
            True Christian™
            • Apr 2026
            • 15118
            #18
            Re: Hello Friends

            Originally posted by Father Kyle View Post
            also Sister Mary Maria, that is a quite amusing little picture you have.
            STOP FLIRTING!!!
            Have you no shame?

            Sister Talitha

            Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


            HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
            being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


              Comment

              • OnYourKnees
                On Extended Furlough
                True Christian™
                • Nov 2006
                • 4729
                #19
                Re: Hello Friends

                Originally posted by Father Kyle View Post
                Ok, i tell you the truth.

                I am currently in a bording home, after a bad bout with drugs and "booze". I was wandering the street one day, blind stincking drunk, when i came upon a small church. I thought, "hmmm maby they have some where for me to sleep." so i went in and in the middle of the night, "shot up" with heroin. I almost O.D.ed, and from then on i decided to make the best of my life.


                (the name comes from my long winded rambilings at bars and houses of "friends")

                I do hope the kind people of The landover Baptist Church can help me.
                Perhaps if you asked the good Pastors to change your name to something which does not imply that you are:

                a. Clergy, and
                b. CATHOLIC, PEDOPHILE, MARY-WORSHIPPING clergy,

                we might be more inclined to help you.

                How about "Prodigal Kyle"?

                  Comment

                  • Deaner
                    Christ's Love Messenger
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 5932
                    #20
                    Re: Hello Friends

                    Originally posted by Father Kyle View Post
                    I almost O.D.ed, and from then on i decided to make the best of my life.
                    So you became a catlick priest and now you molest children? Did you get checked for brain damage in the seminary?

                      Comment

                      • Prodigal Kyle
                        Unsaved trash
                        Under Investigation
                        • Mar 2007
                        • 14
                        #21
                        Re: Hello Friends

                        Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                        Perhaps if you asked the good Pastors to change your name to something which does not imply that you are:

                        a. Clergy, and
                        b. CATHOLIC, PEDOPHILE, MARY-WORSHIPPING clergy,

                        we might be more inclined to help you.

                        How about "Prodigal Kyle"?
                        Thank you sir, that would be nice.

                        also, iwas not flirting, i was makeing a small note.

                          Comment

                          • kikirnw
                            #22
                            Re: Hello Friends

                            Hello Kyle! How are you today? I am sure if your not rude the people at Landover would be happy to help. They may seem a little harsh at times but they mean no harm by it.

                              Comment

                              • Loser_seed
                                Landover Habilitation and Therapy Unit (For those unfit to mix with the normal public)
                                • Apr 2007
                                • 293
                                #23
                                Re: Hello Friends

                                Hi. I hope you like it here.

                                  Comment

                                  • OnYourKnees
                                    On Extended Furlough
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Nov 2006
                                    • 4729
                                    #24
                                    Re: Hello Friends

                                    Originally posted by kikirnw View Post
                                    Hello Kyle! How are you today? I am sure if your not rude the people at Landover would be happy to help. They may seem a little harsh at times but they mean no harm by it.
                                    Originally posted by Lunar_seed View Post
                                    Hi. I hope you like it here.
                                    Here's your first warning, Kyle. If you want to be Saved, beware of these two.

                                    The first is a witch who has tried to seduce several of our Godly True Christian men!

                                    The second is a warlock who talks to Trees!

                                    Don't let them steer you away from God, when you're so close to Salvation!

                                      Comment

                                      • kikirnw
                                        #25
                                        Re: Hello Friends

                                        Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                                        Here's your first warning, Kyle. If you want to be Saved, beware of these two.

                                        The first is a witch who has tried to seduce several of our Godly True Christian men!

                                        The second is a warlock who talks to Trees!

                                        Don't let them steer you away from God, when you're so close to Salvation!
                                        I am not a witch,nor have I tried to seduce anyone. I have merely stated a fact that the men at landover are cute. Nothing more than that really.

                                          Comment

                                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                             
                                            • Sep 2006
                                            • 78556
                                            #26
                                            Re: Hello Friends

                                            Originally posted by kikirnw View Post
                                            I am not a witch,nor have I tried to seduce anyone. I have merely stated a fact that the men at landover are cute. Nothing more than that really.
                                            Well, when she's right, she's right I suppose.

                                            Kiki, we'd just like to see a little more enthusiasm for Jesus, that's all. Have you started studying your Bible yet?
                                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                              Comment

                                              • kikirnw
                                                #27
                                                Re: Hello Friends

                                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                Well, when she's right, she's right I suppose.

                                                Kiki, we'd just like to see a little more enthusiasm for Jesus, that's all. Have you started studying your Bible yet?
                                                Umm...I've started to read the New Testament. I don't have a KJV Bible,yet.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • OnYourKnees
                                                    On Extended Furlough
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Nov 2006
                                                    • 4729
                                                    #28
                                                    Re: Hello Friends

                                                    Originally posted by kikirnw View Post
                                                    Umm...I've started to read the New Testament. I don't have a KJV Bible,yet.
                                                    Try www.biblegateway.com. Be sure to set it to the King James.

                                                      Comment

                                                      • kikirnw
                                                        #29
                                                        Re: Hello Friends

                                                        Originally posted by OnYourKnees View Post
                                                        Try www.biblegateway.com. Be sure to set it to the King James.
                                                        Thank you.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Brother Temperance
                                                            Senior Usher
                                                            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                                            A very nice young man
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Sep 2006
                                                            • 15621
                                                            #30
                                                            Re: Hello Friends

                                                            Originally posted by kikirnw View Post
                                                            Umm...I've started to read the New Testament. I don't have a KJV Bible,yet.
                                                            Why would you start reading a book halfway through?
                                                            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                                            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                                              Comment

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