Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

[Sgt.Kelso]

Hello Brothers and Sisters,

I am Sgt.Kelso and found your wonderful community by accident (or maybe it was a divine hand guiding me).

I live in the heathenistic state of New York where race mixing and same sex fornication run rampant. It's a modern day Sodom & Gomorrah, but there are still good God fearing Christian folk here in spite of it all. As you can see by my profile, my interests include golf, war and guns (especially guns!).

Before I found the serenity and love of the Lord, I was a sinner. I too drank from the Devil's cup, but that's behind me now. All I see in front of me is the light of the Lord!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

Welcome, Sarge! What branch of the military do you serve in...Army? Marine Corps? Also, what's your favorite Bible verse?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

Welcome to God's favorite forum, friend. Please tell us about your church and the path that led you to Christ's love.

How old are you? What is your military status? How many mudslimes have you sent to hell for Jesus?

[Sgt.Kelso]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

I proudly served in the United States Army and did two tours of duty in Saudi Arabia from 94-96. I purified 67 foul smelling agents of Satan with my M4 carbine before being stopped by my own commanding officier. Something about us not be "officially" at war with Saudi Arabia. God's work knows no national boundries or treaties, but it did end my military career.

It was in desert though, under the arabian sun of 125*F that I found God. I had become lost on a patrol and ran out of water. Near the point of delirium, he appeared before me. He pointed me in the direction of my base and told me to walk the rightous path. It was then I became a Soldier in God's army. A smiter of the non-believers, blasphemers, and socialists.


I am now a 44 year old member of the Westboro Baptist Church. We're good people doing God's work the best that we can.

My favorite verse: "...And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them." -- Ezekiel 25:17

You probably could've guessed that though.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

I proudly served in the United States Army and did two tours of duty in Saudi Arabia from 94-96. I purified 67 foul smelling agents of Satan with my M4 carbine before being stopped by my own commanding officier. Something about us not be "officially" at war with Saudi Arabia. God's work knows no national boundries or treaties, but it did end my military career.

It was in desert though, under the arabian sun of 125*F that I found God. I had become lost on a patrol and ran out of water. Near the point of delirium, he appeared before me. He pointed me in the direction of my base and told me to walk the rightous path. It was then I became a Soldier in God's army. A smiter of the non-believers, blasphemers, and socialists.


I am now a 44 year old member of the Westboro Baptist Church. We're good people doing God's work the best that we can.

My favorite verse: "...And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them." -- Ezekiel 25:17

You probably could've guessed that though.

Hmmm...You don't look 44.

And Westboro doesn't have a church in "the people's republic of New York."

[Sgt.Kelso]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

Well pastor, I have to admit that that picture is from a few years ago.

As for our church, we have to keep a rather low profile here in the middle of Satan's triangle of the Northeast. It's no wonder you haven't heard of our parish.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

Parish?!?!?

So you're a Catholic now?

[David Goldman]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

The good brother Phelps has begun a rather dubious music "ministry" as well. Do you know anything about that?

[Sgt.Kelso]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

Parish?!?!?

So you're a Catholic now?

Did I say parish? Forgive me Reverend, I meant congregation. I was raised an evil Papist before finding the Lord and sometimes bad habits die hard.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

I proudly served in the United States Army and did two tours of duty in Saudi Arabia from 94-96. I purified 67 foul smelling agents of Satan with my M4 carbine before being stopped by my own commanding officier. Something about us not be "officially" at war with Saudi Arabia. God's work knows no national boundries or treaties, but it did end my military career.

How long did you spend at USDB Leavenworth? It's good to know that you didn't covert to islam or make the choice to continue the sodomite lifestyle after you were released.

[Hymie Goldberg]

Re: Sgt. Kelso reporting for the Lord's duty!

Parish?!?!?

So you're a Catholic now?

I'm thinking the poor illiterate soul means "pariah". Just because he's seized of the Word doesn't mean he can spell.

Hymie