Save me from Satan!

[PhilMcCracken]

I was recently approached by a queer folk and for days now I have been feeling dirty.

The English churches are full of false scum who take God's word as a joke. Please convince me that I belong in this world full of queers and blacks. I want Landover to be my new home.

[Lola Handcock]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Welcome to Landover.
What Church do you attend? Are you married,how many children have you sired?
What is your favorite Bible Verse from the KJV1611 ? What country do you live in?

[PhilMcCracken]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Welcome to Landover.
What Church do you attend? Are you married,how many children have you sired?
What is your favorite Bible Verse from the KJV1611 ? What country do you live in?

Thank you.
I attend Selly Park Baptist Church in a small village called Stirchley, in Birmingham, England. My wife recently gave birth to our first son and I don't want my recent encounter to be washed upon him.
Exodus 15:2 is my favourite verse.

I'm also 26 years of age and teach Art in a boy's grammar school.

[PhilMcCracken]

Re: Save me from Satan!

*27

[Lola Handcock]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Being approached by the unclean/unsaved of this world can and does make you feel "dirty".We all know that they are Satan's attempt to pull us over to the dark side and join them in HELL. You need to cast the demons that have attached themselves to you OUT. I have a prayer that will help you get clean.I say this every time I am approached by a homer.Repeat this and see if it helps.. Yours in Christ Lola


In the name of JESUS, I cover myself with the Blood of JESUS. I ask for giant warrior angels to protect us. As your war club and weapons of war, I break down, undam, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, psychic prayers, psychic thoughts, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, voodoo, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, psychic power, psychic warfare, prayer chains, incense and candle burning, incantations, chanting, blessings, hoodoo, crystals, root works, and everything else being sent my way, or my family member's way, and I return it, and the demons to the sender, SEVENFOLD, and I bind it to them by the Blood of Jesus, and I cut and burn their ungodly silver cord and lay lines, in JESUS' Name.

[PhilMcCracken]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Thank you so much, Lola.
May Jesus recognise your outstanding faith.

[Talitha]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Welcome, Friend.

Freehold Iowa is a long way from your home in Birmingham, England.
How do you intend to get here for Church on Sunday?

[PhilMcCracken]

Re: Save me from Satan!

I attend an English Baptist church, ma'am.

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me from Satan!

I'm also 26 years of age and teach Art in a boy's grammar school.

No wonder you're surrounded by homers.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Thank you.
I attend Selly Park Baptist Church in a small village called Stirchley, in Birmingham, England. My wife recently gave birth to our first son and I don't want my recent encounter to be washed upon him.
Exodus 15:2 is my favourite verse.

I'm also 26 years of age and teach Art in a boy's grammar school.

Um....Phil....other than finding yourself briefly in close proximity to the aforementioned "queer folk", did the "encounter" include anything more? I get the sense you feel a little guilt over the encounter and finding oneself unwittingly in the presence of a pillowbiter should not, in and of itself, give rise to feelings of dirtiness.........unless.................

So tell us, Phil, does your son's mother encourage your sodomite ways? Does she hate Jesus as much as you do? Will you drag her to the lake of fire with you?

[PhilMcCracken]

Re: Save me from Satan!

No wonder you're surrounded by homers.

Thank you all for your support. I was clearly deluded to have put my trust in Americans.

[PhilMcCracken]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Um....Phil....other than finding yourself briefly in close proximity to the aforementioned "queer folk", did the "encounter" include anything more? I get the sense you feel a little guilt over the encounter and finding oneself unwittingly in the presence of a pillowbiter should not, in and of itself, give rise to feelings of dirtiness.........unless.................

So tell us, Phil, does your son's mother encourage your sodomite ways? Does she hate Jesus as much as you do? Will you drag her to the lake of fire with you?

What are you suggesting, Emil? You insult my intelligence to accuse me of such sin. Clearly, your mind is full of dirt to think of such things and may Jesus damn you for that.
You will not speak of my wife in that way.

[Emil Sledge]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Ignoring questions doesn't make them any less asked, Phil. Puffing up your chest and drumming on it like an ape does nothing do deflect the suspicion you've brought upon yourself nor to diminish the inclination of True Christians to rebuke you for your evil ways. Maybe you should find another forum where sympathizers abound. You won't find them here. Enjoy hell, worm.


Edit: And doesn't the cute name you've chosen to represent yourself say it all about your intentions here, troll? Do you think we're stupid or just hope we are?

[Nobar King]

Re: Save me from Satan!

Thank you all for your support. I was clearly deluded to have put my trust in Americans.

You should be putting your trust in Jesus, friend.

[Lola Handcock]

Re: Save me from Satan!

You should be putting your trust in Jesus, friend.

Friend ,Nobar King has given you some very good advice,put your trust in Jesus.

Have you done something very wrong,you seem to be a little up set with my Husband.Emil can smell a Homer a mile away,and has a 99.99% accuracy rate.

You have acted on your inner homer feelings haven't you!