X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Mary Jane
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Jan 2010
    • 7

    #1

    Hi there, Landover~~

    Praise the sweet name of Jesus Christ!
    My name is Mary Jane (for all of ya'll heathens: don't laugh, that is my real name). I'm 21 years-old and still single (unfortunately).

    Up until about 2 years ago, I did not personally accept Jesus into my heart. I was raised in a half-salad-bar-"christian"/half-athiest family. The family members who did read the Bible usually took it as a metaphor and thought it was okay to believe in evolution and science and all that, which was my belief until I was about 14 and started rebelling and became a full athiest and abandoned God and the Bible.
    I wore revealling clothing, fornicated out of wedlock, smoked weed (thank God I didn't start any of the harder drugs such as cocaine!), I listened to satanic rock-n-roll music, had lesbian encounters - just about anything offensive to the Lord I did.
    When I was about 17, I started drinking hard liquor and became very depressed, which lasted about 2 years. Then when I was 19 I tried to commit suicide by downing a huge bottle of pills, which, as doctors later said, put me in a coma for about a week. (If my mother didn't find me passed out in my bathroom, I wouldn't even be here today)

    Now, some doctors say that when you're in a coma, you don't dream. Well I'm certainly convinced that what I experienced was NOT a dream.

    (WARNING: the following my be unsuitable to the God-impaired! Please have a KJV Bible open and ready if you dare venture any further!)

    When I was in that coma, I felt as though I was burning alive! I could hear screams coming from every direction. Then I felt a burning, sharp pain, like barbed wire, scraping against my lady parts. Next thing I knew I was sitting up in the hospital bed, kicking and screaming in pain and terror. When the doctor later examined me (after I had calmed down), he told me that my lady parts looked terrible and had scratches that were not there before waking up!
    This terrified me even more. That night I prayed and prayed and prayed like I've never prayed before. A month later, I was baptised at the local Baptist church in my hometown and soon after that, I hit the road to spread God's Holy word.

    I hope ya'll could find it in your heart to accept me as a fellow child of God!

    Praise!
    Mary Jane
  • Cranky Old Man
    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
    You kids get off his lawn!
     
    • Jan 2010
    • 22371

    #2
    Re: Hi there, Landover~~

    Hello Marry Jane, welcome to our forum!

    Did your father give you permission to post here?

    What is your favorite Bible verse?
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

    Comment

    • Mary Jane
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Jan 2010
      • 7

      #3
      Re: Hi there, Landover~~

      Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
      Hello Marry Jane, welcome to our forum!

      Did your father give you permission to post here?

      What is your favorite Bible verse?
      Well, I don't live with my family, sir. I've been on the road spreading His Word for the past 2 years.

      I seemed to have forgotten to place my favorite verse in my introduction. I apologize.

      I love the whole book of Revelation, but chapter 21 verse 1-5 really speaks to me:
      1 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
      2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.
      3 And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God [is] with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, [and be] their God.
      4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
      5 And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

      And thank you so much for the warm welcome!

      Praise!

      Comment

      • Cranky Old Man
        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
        You kids get off his lawn!
         
        • Jan 2010
        • 22371

        #4
        Re: Hi there, Landover~~

        Originally posted by Mary Jane View Post
        Well, I don't live with my family, sir.
        Why did your father allow this? Who do you not have a husband?
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Mary Jane
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jan 2010
          • 7

          #5
          Re: Hi there, Landover~~

          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
          Why did your father allow this? Who do you not have a husband?
          My father is an athiest and I was 19 years-old when I started.
          I'm not married because all of the men at the Baptist church were all married or betrothed to someone else. Besides, since I spent most of my life as a worthless sinner before finally asking Jesus for forgiveness, I would technically be considered "damaged goods".
          I do pray for God to send me a True Christian husband, though.

          Praise!

          Comment

          • Talitha
            Deaconess
            Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
            True Christian™
            • Feb 2026
            • 15118

            #6
            Re: Hi there, Landover~~

            Welcome to our Humble Church Mary Jane.
            I hope your Username doesn't reflect your use of a certain "Substance?"

            I'm pleased to see that you follow the one true King James Bible and not any softy Lieberal version.
            Our Pastors always welcome young Women such as yourself.

            Sister Talitha

            Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


            HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
            being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



            Comment

            • Mary Jane
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Jan 2010
              • 7

              #7
              Re: Hi there, Landover~~

              Originally posted by Talitha View Post
              Welcome to our Humble Church Mary Jane.
              I hope your Username doesn't reflect your use of a certain "Substance?"

              I'm pleased to see that you follow the one true King James Bible and not any softy Lieberal version.
              Our Pastors always welcome young Women such as yourself.
              Thank you for the warm welcome! And, no, my name does not refer to any illegal "substance", that is the name my parents gave me.

              Praise!

              Comment

              • GOD=life
                WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                True Christian™
                • Jan 2010
                • 3263

                #8
                Re: Hi there, Landover~~

                Originally posted by Mary Jane View Post
                that is the name my parents gave me
                Don't worry, we can ask God to give you another name.

                YIC
                I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                Matthew 7:22
                Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                Comment

                • Cranky Old Man
                  Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                  You kids get off his lawn!
                   
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 22371

                  #9
                  Re: Hi there, Landover~~

                  Originally posted by Mary Jane View Post
                  I do pray for God to send me a True Christian husband, though.
                  I will pray with you. And don't forget the best place for a first date is church.
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                  Comment

                  • Mary Jane
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 7

                    #10
                    Re: Hi there, Landover~~

                    I see that I am no longer considered "unsaved trash" and it now says "forum member" under my name. Thank you Jesus and the wise pastors and moderators!
                    I understand that it's difficult to trust new people on here, since I've seen so many hateful heathens posting, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to truely prove myself as a True Christian (I know it may be awhile before ya'll grant me that status, but I'm very patient and willing to prove myself!)

                    Again, thank you so much for all of the warm welcomes and advice!

                    Praise!

                    Comment

                    • Cranky Old Man
                      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                      You kids get off his lawn!
                       
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 22371

                      #11
                      Re: Hi there, Landover~~

                      Praise the LORD!
                      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                      Comment

                      • Talitha
                        Deaconess
                        Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
                        True Christian™
                        • Feb 2026
                        • 15118

                        #12
                        Re: Hi there, Landover~~

                        Originally posted by Mary Jane View Post
                        I see that I am no longer considered "unsaved trash" and it now says "forum member" under my name. Thank you Jesus and the wise pastors and moderators!
                        I understand that it's difficult to trust new people on here, since I've seen so many hateful heathens posting, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to truely prove myself as a True Christian (I know it may be awhile before ya'll grant me that status, but I'm very patient and willing to prove myself!)

                        Again, thank you so much for all of the warm welcomes and advice!

                        Praise!
                        HE works in most wondrous ways.

                        GLORY!!!

                        Sister Talitha

                        Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


                        HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
                        being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



                        Comment

                        • Levi Jones
                          Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                          Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                          Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                           
                          • Jul 2009
                          • 13930

                          #13
                          Re: Hi there, Landover~~

                          Testify! Praise Jesus and welcome!

                          Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                          Comment

                          Working...