X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Hi Landover :)

    My name is Mary. I'm married (since last October). I'm from Atascocita, Texas. I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. My favorite book of the Bible would have to be Revelation (specifically Revelation chapter 22) with Psalms at a very close second.
    If you have any questions, just ask!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hi Landover

    Hi Mary Taylor, welcome to God's favorite forum!

    I have a question: what is your favorite pie recipe?
    I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

    Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
    Matthew 7:22     Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
    Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

    Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hi Landover

      Welcome to our forum Mary! Did you ask your husband permission to post here?
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hi Landover

        Originally posted by GOD=life View Post
        Hi Mary Taylor, welcome to God's favorite forum!

        I have a question: what is your favorite pie recipe?
        Apple pie, but my husband is very picky about how he likes my pie, so I'm still tweaking the recipe here and there to please him.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hi Landover

          Originally posted by Mary Taylor View Post
          to please him
          Does he give you a proper Christian spanking when you fail at pleasing him?
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hi Landover

            Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
            Does he give you a proper Christian spanking when you fail at pleasing him?
            Yes he does. And he did give me permission to be on here.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hi Landover

              Originally posted by Mary Taylor View Post
              Yes he does. And he did give me permission to be on here.
              That is good to hear. How many children do you have?
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hi Landover

                Originally posted by Mary Taylor View Post
                My name is Mary. I'm married (since last October). I'm from Atascocita, Texas. I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. My favorite book of the Bible would have to be Revelation (specifically Revelation chapter 22) with Psalms at a very close second.
                If you have any questions, just ask!
                You seem to be well trained a good Christian lady. When will you begin producing Soldiers for Christ™?


                Leviticus 26:27-29

                27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hi Landover

                  Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                  That is good to hear. How many children do you have?
                  We don't have any children yet, but we do keep trying.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hi Landover

                    Originally posted by Mary Taylor View Post
                    We don't have any children yet, but we do keep trying.
                    You have to find the reason why God doesn't want you to have children yet. Prayer really helps.

                    Perhaps God wanted you to find his favorite forum first?
                    I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                    Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                    Matthew 7:22                     Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                    Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                    Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hi Landover

                      Originally posted by Mary Taylor View Post
                      We don't have any children yet, but we do keep trying.
                      Did your Pastor explain what to do to get children to you? Neither me nor my wife knew about these things in the beginning of our marriage and our Pastor helped a lot there.
                      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hi Landover

                        Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                        Did your Pastor explain what to do to get children to you? Neither me nor my wife knew about these things in the beginning of our marriage and our Pastor helped a lot there.
                        I understand that Pastor Ezekiel often schedules private counseling session for such situations.

                        Mary, I am glad that you got your husbands permission first,

                        Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."

                        WHile its okay for women to post on these forums, they first have to make sure that they have dinner ready for their husband

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Hi Landover

                          Welcome to God's favorite forum, ma'am. I hope your husband will be posting here as well. We'd like to get both of you Saved(c) before you bring and children into the world who turn out to be queers and so on.

                          Just something to think about while you're "trying."
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Hi Landover

                            Originally posted by Mary Taylor View Post
                            We don't have any children yet, but we do keep trying.
                            Have you tried sex yet? As far as producing Soldiers of Christ is concerned, sex indeed helps out a ton.

                            But for any other purposes it is a vile, disgusting act created by Satan in an attempt to lure you to Hell .

                            Welcome to the forums, by the way!
                            Matthew 7:15
                            Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

                            Comment

                            Previous template Next
                            Working...
                            X