[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello

Whatever happened to "Honor thy Father and thy Mother"?

And don't tell me you can honor someone while hating them, those to things don't go together.

Yes they do. If I were to have children, I can hardly imagine how they could honor me better than by hating me, as Jesus commands. To raise some limp-wristed mummy's boy would be far more dishonorable.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: Hello

Yes they do. If I were to have children, I can hardly imagine how they could honor me better than by hating me, as Jesus commands. To raise some limp-wristed mummy's boy would be far more dishonorable.

How is that 'honoring' you?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello

How is that 'honoring' you?

If I want my hypothetical children to hate me, then they'd better hurry up and honor my wishes by hating me, else they'll feel the buckle of my hypothetical belt! Any more stupid questions, or are you looking for a hypothetical thrashing as well?

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: Hello

If I want my hypothetical children to hate me, then they'd better hurry up and honor my wishes by hating me, else they'll feel the buckle of my hypothetical belt! Any more stupid questions, or are you looking for a hypothetical thrashing as well?

Why do you want to hypothetically thrash me? Is that exciting?

[weeping_willow]

Re: Hello

Hello to everyone here at Landover.
I'm new, not only to this forum, but also to the religion.
I've recently become a True Christian (with the exception of tithing, because I'm currently unemployed and my parents don't want to give money to a church that they do not attend).
I saved up my allowance to buy myself the KJV1611 Bible, but while I was in the process of moving into a new home with my parents, the moving men lost the box that it was in (I had just started to read Genesis). So, now I'm currently saving up as much as I can to buy another one (which will stay with me AT ALL TIMES). This will be hard because I'm currently grounded for calling my parents Satanists. I'm not supposed to be on the computer right now, but they've already gone to bed.
I will graduate from my secular high school next year, so hopefully I will move out of my parents home for good and start living with a nice, wealthy, True Christian man (if I should find one by then).

I hope that I'll be accepted into this fine community and make wonderful friends here.

Wait a sec....Sarah!?!? Is that you?
I knew I kept hearing someone on the computer, but I thought it was Dad.

It was my parents idea to hire moving men. I'm just happy that I had a suitcase with my "unmentionables" with me (my mother and sister, on the other hand, had a few of theirs stolen right out of the boxes).

No it wasn't! It was YOUR idea because YOU didn't want to do any work yourself. But, Mom and Dad gave in, even though they didn't want to pay someone for work they can do themselves. (And, the moving men were not Mexican, they were white.)
And those "unmentionables" that were missing, they were in a seperate box of laundry that we didn't get a chance to do before we left.
Remember, you were with me when we found them.

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Re: Hello

Why do you want to hypothetically thrash me? Is that exciting?

Hypothetically, yes.

[angelique_of_the_damned44]

Re: Hello

Wait a sec....Sarah!?!? Is that you?
I knew I kept hearing someone on the computer, but I thought it was Dad.


No it wasn't! It was YOUR idea because YOU didn't want to do any work yourself. But, Mom and Dad gave in, even though they didn't want to pay someone for work they can do themselves. (And, the moving men were not Mexican, they were white.)
And those "unmentionables" that were missing, they were in a seperate box of laundry that we didn't get a chance to do before we left.
Remember, you were with me when we found them.

I knew she sounded familiar!

She seems to share the same views as everyone else here, so I'm sure she'll feel right at home.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello

Why do you want to hypothetically thrash me? Is that exciting?

Why, you insolent whelp! In the hypothetical scenario that I'm currently envisaging, you're squealing like a pig right now!

Wait a sec....Sarah!?!? Is that you?
I knew I kept hearing someone on the computer, but I thought it was Dad.
...

I realise this may be a radically new concept that you've never encountered before, but have you ever considered having household discussions with your sister somewhere other than Jesus' favourite forums? Like, in your house, perhaps?

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: Hello

Why, you insolent whelp! In the hypothetical scenario that I'm currently envisaging, you're squealing like a pig right now!

I realise this may be a radically new concept that you've never encountered before, but have you ever considered having household discussions with your sister somewhere other than Jesus' favourite forums? Like, in your house, perhaps?

And in the same hypothetical scenario that I'm envisioning you're doing something with your hands that I like, and you do too...ew.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

And in the same hypothetical scenario that I'm envisioning you're doing something with your hands that I like, and you do too...ew.

Listen jooboy, Brother Temperance has an unspeakably sinful past, having committed vile abominations that even you can't imagine. But he has been washed clean by the blood of the lamb, and so is definately not interested in committing sodomy with you.

Take it elsewhere, sinner.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: Hello

Listen jooboy, Brother Temperance has an unspeakably sinful past, having committed vile abominations that even you can't imagine. But he has been washed clean by the blood of the lamb, and so is definately not interested in committing sodomy with you.

Take it elsewhere, sinner.

Wow...no thanks I don't want to be sodomized either. That's a one way street thank you very much.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Hello

Wow...no thanks I don't want to be sodomized either. That's a one way street thank you very much.

It surely is ... straight to Hell.