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My dear brothers in Faith, allow me to introduce myself, I am a struggling Latino who has quit a world of loose women and loose values to come to the Light of Christ Jesus, and humbly asks you to consider me for this, the Godliest Church of them all...
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Re: Hello,Landover
What church do you attend, boy?
Please tell us about yourself.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: Hello,Landover
I attend the Iglesia Bautista La Gracia, in Bogotá, Colombia, South America. I am not very satisfied with it, though, because I find it filled with, let's say, more than one woman who doesn't know how to behave in front of a man, always tempting one with their long hair, some even wear makeup! It is terrible, and so much temptation for a single man like myself...Comment
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Re: Hello,Landover
That's too bad. There are no godly churches anywhere besides in God's favorite country, the USA. Your best luck is probably to find one of the LBC missionaries stationed in Colombia.Originally posted by JP Obregon View Post
But anyway, what is your name? How old are you? What is your favorite bible verse?Follow me on Thefacebook! http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?...00000884272376Comment
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Re: Hello,Landover
I think you misunderstood the question, bud. He asked you what Church you attend, not where you go to buy your groceries.Originally posted by JP Obregon View Post
It ain't a Church if it ain't in American English.
Matthew 7:15
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.Comment
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Re: Hello,Landover
Oh, it would be a blessing to find one of those missionaries! Who might that be? I am 27 years old, still a bachelor, but looking forward to creating a whole bunch of little soldiers for Christ with the right woman, my name I am ashamed to say is Juan Pablo (which is the same in Spanish as that devil John Paul II, may he be burning in Hell), and my favorite Bible verse would have to be Numbers 24:17: "I shall see him, but not now: I shall behold him, but not nigh: there shall come a Star out of Jacob, and a Sceptre shall rise out of Israel, and shall smite the corners of Moab, and destroy all the children of Sheth."Originally posted by GodIsAlmighty View Post
Agreed, everyone knows American is God's language! So hard to find in this God forsaken land, thoughOriginally posted by Jed_Cassidy View PostI think you misunderstood the question, bud. He asked you what Church you attend, not where you go to buy your groceries.
It ain't a Church if it ain't in American English.
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Re: Hello,Landover
Aren't you all drugoverloadsoverlords or something?Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: Hello,Landover
Welcome to our nice and friendly forum!Originally posted by JP Obregon View Post5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
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Re: Hello,Landover
There MUST be a Baptist Church in Colombia. If there isn't, it's possible that Landover needs to organize an outreach mission in your country. We have our own fleet of private planes, so there's no reason to worry about using the public airport or having customs confiscate our Bibles when we arrive.Comment
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Re: Hello,Landover
Oh, heavens, no, nothing of the sort. At least not meOriginally posted by James Hutchins View Post
Yes, a fleet of private planes sounds like the way to go. I happen to have access to an excellent private airport in the middle of the jungle, for purely Evangelical reasons. I am quite sure Landover and I could start a great outreach mission, exchanging all sorts of materials for the glory of the Lord!Originally posted by Nobar King View PostComment
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