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  • hello glorious brothers

    Friends, allow me to introduce myself.

    My name is Emmanuel and I have always thought I was a Christian before I knew what it truly meant to live for the Lord.

    I was raised as a presbyterian and always had high goals for myself. I had just graduated high school and was accepted to a public university in Texas. I always thought of myself as reightious and worthy of Lord.. boy was I wrong.

    I was weak. I was ignorant.

    When i began my college career I was excited and humbled by those around me. I tried to do all the right things by going to college fellowships and preaching the lord in the campuses freedom of speech circle. In high end sight I was simply hiding from the truth. The truth is that college is an institution that turns good men into LIBERALS! AND I HAVE PROOF!!!!!

    You see, everything was fine until a few of my professors began to refer to college education as a "liberal arts education". The first time or two I heard a prof say this I thought, "well it's okay I am steadfast in my beliefs, i'll be fine, satans army of professors will not sway me" but even someone as steadfast and wise as myself began to falter. I began to blame republicans for a lot of my problems and I started having sex out of wedlock.

    It was then I realized that universitys truly do make liberals out of perfectly good men. I prayed for a few days on the matter and fasted for a week. I sacrificed all my classwork, four days of meals, and told the girl i'd been fornicating with that Jesus was the only relationship I desired.

    Something happened in that week. My professors began to turn their back on me as if commanded to by the Satan himself. I was told i'd be kicked out if I continued to fast because it was hurting my grades due to my lack of attendance.

    In that week I found something better than a liberal education.. I FOUND JESUS!!! Since then I've got a great job at tractor supply company as the second manager! I have a beautiful southern belle wife, Bernice, and eight beautiful little angels. She already had three boys from her last marriage, so that makes eleven. and the three she had arent even mixed race! they're pure white, so i treat them as one of my own.

    Anyway, sorry to ramble on, but i feel as if my message will help other troubled college kids. Just drop out and get a job. Jesus sends us blessed type to college to see what it is to be a disgusting liberally educated liberal. Take your lesson and run, please dont let them take you down!
    Christian Theocracy: Change we can believe in.

    LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-29

  • #2
    Re: hello glorious brothers

    Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. It's always heartwarming to hear the testimony of a sinner who's crawling on his hads and knees to Christ.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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    • #3
      Re: hello glorious brothers

      Insperation for us all

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      • #4
        Re: hello glorious brothers

        Thank you Mr. Ebilly for your kind words.

        And I'd like to thank Pastor Ezekiel for allowing me to talk amongst the residents of Freehold. It took vision and wisdom on his part to realize that I was on the cusp of accepting Jesus as Lord. My days of queer sin are over.

        I've thought about moving to Freehold with my wifes and children, but my work in TX is far from finished. I've only been to Freehold once, but I can tell its the next best thing to Heaven. I am truly sad that I will have to wait to bask in the Glory of Jesus with the only people who Jesus really loves... But texas is, unfortunately, full of queers and Mescan catholic trash.
        Christian Theocracy: Change we can believe in.

        LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-29

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        • #5
          Re: hello glorious brothers

          Welcome to our friendly forum!
          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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          • #6
            Re: hello glorious brothers

            Welcome, Brother! Reading your testimony nearly brought a tear to my eye (I said nearly...I'm no sissy-homer-boy ). Hopefully someday in the near future you'll be able to join the rest of us True Christians™ here in Freehold!
            Matthew 7:15
            Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

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