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  • #1

    Seeking Redemption, please help!

    I have been a godless heathen my entire life. I have sinned against the Lord and blasphemed against the Holy Spirit (see Mark 3:29). I have even pleasured myself to pictures of the Blessed Virgin.

    In my darkest hour I wrote a book which may have condemned me for all time. http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/ But I regret it now.

    As I am resigned to being "left behind" when the Rupture comes I have tried to make ammends by establishing Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, a post Rapture pet rescue service. http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

    I seek the Christian love and support of this community.

    Yours in the blood and effluence of Christ.

    Hump
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

    Welcome Mr., eh, Hump.

    Let me get this straight...

    You write books mocking us poor persecuted Christians, you touch your Tallywhacker whilst thinking of Baby Jesus' mom, and now you want to repent?

    Tough one friend.

    See, normally, we don't think that anyone is beyond Salvation®. Even if that Dawkins guy would show up, repent, and accept Jesus as his LORD and Savior, we'd have to go: "Um, OK Dick".

    The problem is that you also commited the one and only UNFORGIVABLE sin!

    I'll consult with the other Pastors, but I'm afraid it doesn't look good.

    PS: I assume those books are no longer on sale, right?
    Psalm 81:10:
    I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
    open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

      You can do a lot of bad, yes down right nasty things and still be forgiven. I am not sure what the Pastors will say or be able to do But.........
      Matthew 12:31,32
      Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
      and
      Mark 3:29
      But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.
      Lets not forget
      Luke 12:10
      And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

        Wow!

        I am a bit shell shocked. I had no idea that anyone could be that depraved. Have you considered requesting banishment from mankind?
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

          Originally posted by Dromedary Hump View Post
          I have been a godless heathen my entire life. I have sinned against the Lord and blasphemed against the Holy Spirit (see Mark 3:29). I have even pleasured myself to pictures of the Blessed Virgin.

          In my darkest hour I wrote a book which may have condemned me for all time. http://theatheistcamelchronicles.blogspot.com/ But I regret it now.

          As I am resigned to being "left behind" when the Rupture comes I have tried to make ammends by establishing Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, a post Rapture pet rescue service. http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

          I seek the Christian love and support of this community.

          Yours in the blood and effluence of Christ.

          Hump
          Why are you not just a tiny bit honest and call us naive?
          Do you think we're a horde of zoo pets that you can study so you can mock us on your blog?
          Which is still active and on which I can't read any word of repentance, incidentally.


          Job 15:34-35

          34For the congregation of hypocrites shall be desolate, and fire shall consume the tabernacles of bribery.
          35They conceive mischief, and bring forth vanity, and their belly prepareth deceit.
          Psalm 1:5
          Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

            Bestiality is a sin, atheism is a sin, but combining the two is a sin of colossal proportion.

            I'm glad I'm not you, pal.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

              I TRIED to have amazon pull my book...but they refused. They are the godless minions of Satan who care for nothing more than the wages of sin. i left them in my dust, now that I've seen the light.... but the book, woefully, continues on.

              And my Atheist Camel blog...well... it's been taken over by neer-do-well atheist exfriends who have fallen under satan's spell and are devoid of all morality. I am powerless to stop them.

              If you think it would help, I could have my foreskin reattached...or be recircumsized... whatever penance you recommend.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                Originally posted by Dromedary Hump View Post
                If you think it would help, I could have my foreskin reattached...or be recircumsized... whatever penance you recommend.
                If the Pastors decide you should have your Unmentionable Skin reattached, I am more than happy to help. I have no medical training, but certainly have the skills and equipment for such a task. It probably won't be a particularly pleasant process for either of us; however, I'll let you choose the thread colour. Glory!
                Attached Files
                True Christians are Perfect!

                Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                  Dear Sister, may I watch and learn

                  In JESUS name
                  King James Bible
                  Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                    Originally posted by No Secrets Victoria View Post
                    Dear Sister, may I watch and learn
                    Of course, dear. I am more than happy to teach traditional Womanly True Christian™ Skills!

                    However, Mr. Hump may be a lost cause:

                    Originally posted by Dromedary Hump View Post
                    I have even pleasured myself to pictures of the Blessed Virgin.
                    Blaspheming the Holy Spirit is bad enough, but pleasuring oneself when gazing at pictures of a swarthy and mustached Jewess really is quite unforgivable.
                    True Christians are Perfect!

                    Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                    Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                    For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                      Originally posted by Dromedary Hump View Post
                      I TRIED to have amazon pull my book...but they refused. They are the godless minions of Satan who care for nothing more than the wages of sin. i left them in my dust, now that I've seen the light.... but the book, woefully, continues on.

                      And my Atheist Camel blog...well... it's been taken over by neer-do-well atheist exfriends who have fallen under satan's spell and are devoid of all morality. I am powerless to stop them.

                      If you think it would help, I could have my foreskin reattached...or be recircumsized... whatever penance you recommend.
                      Could you please stop lying? It's becoming annoying
                      Psalm 1:5
                      Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                        Mrs Rogers...
                        Uh, I'm going to pass on your offer for now.
                        But thanks.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                          Originally posted by Dromedary Hump View Post
                          Mrs Rogers...
                          Uh, I'm going to pass on your offer for now.
                          But thanks.
                          That's ok. I think somewhere we have a 'do it yourself circumcision' guide. You would want to make absolutely sure that you got all the dirty parts off, you know.

                          Can any of the Godly men of the Church please supply Hump with the guide? I would search for it but I do not want to defile my feminine mind with images of that nature.
                          The KJV 1611. Read It. Learn It. Love It. LIVE IT.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                            Originally posted by Rachel Sue View Post
                            That's ok. I think somewhere we have a 'do it yourself circumcision' guide. You would want to make absolutely sure that you got all the dirty parts off, you know.

                            Can any of the Godly men of the Church please supply Hump with the guide? I would search for it but I do not want to defile my feminine mind with images of that nature.
                            Here you go: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0601/circumcise.html
                            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Seeking Redemption, please help!

                              There are lots of unsaved running around with cut members these days. To be a True Christian™, you must also circumcise your heart in accordance with Deuteronomy 10:16:

                              Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart,
                              and be no more stiffnecked.


                              See also
                              Jeremiah 4:4

                              Circumcise yourselves to the LORD, and take away the foreskins of your heart, ye men of Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem: lest my fury come forth like fire, and burn that none can quench it, because of the evil of your doings.


                              And once you have been circumcised of your male member and your heart, ye may cut deeper yet:

                              Joshua 5:2-3
                              At that time the LORD said unto Joshua, Make thee sharp knives, and circumcise again the children of Israel the second time.
                              And Joshua made him sharp knives, and circumcised the children of Israel at the hill of the foreskins.


                              Imagine, a whole hill of foreskins! Glory!
                              II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                              And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                              In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                              Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
                              The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                              Comment

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