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  • flatearther
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Apr 2010
    • 10
    #1

    Hello!

    Hello, fellow evangelical, Conservative, Republican Christians! I am pleased that I have found a place to fellowship and worship with people who share my hatred for women, cathy-licks, homosexuals, evilutionists, demon-crats, LIEberals, and all those crazy scientists who try to tell us the world is round and revolves around the sun!! Galileo should have been burned at the stake for spouting such heresy! I'm sure glad he's in hell right now!
    Tags: None
    • Levi Jones
      Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
      Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
      Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
       
      • Jul 2009
      • 13930
      #2
      Re: Hello!

      I see. What's your favorite Bible verse? What Church do you attend? How many soldiers for Christ has your wife borne you?
      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

        Comment

        • flatearther
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Apr 2010
          • 10
          #3
          Re: Hello!

          Lev 20:12!!!!!

          Westboro Baptist!

          She can't have kids! Cursed daughter of Eve!!!

            Comment

            • Levi Jones
              Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
              Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
              Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
               
              • Jul 2009
              • 13930
              #4
              Re: Hello!

              Originally posted by flatearther View Post
              Lev 20:12!!!!!

              Westboro Baptist!

              She can't have kids! Cursed daughter of Eve!!!
              Interesting.. I know Fred personally. I'll give him a call and see if he has heard of you.

              Friend, we follow the laws of man here, until we can replace the constitution with the KJV1611 that is.
              Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                Comment

                • flatearther
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Apr 2010
                  • 10
                  #5
                  Re: Hello!

                  Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post

                  Friend, we follow the laws of man here, until we can replace the constitution with the KJV1611 that is.
                  If Sarah Palin gets elected in 2012 that might just happen! Oh glory! What a day that will be!!! I'm tired of these LIEberals and their Satanic polices of helping the poor, protecting the environment, and promoting world peace!

                    Comment

                    • Levi Jones
                      Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                      Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                      Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                       
                      • Jul 2009
                      • 13930
                      #6
                      Re: Hello!

                      Originally posted by flatearther View Post
                      If Sarah Palin gets elected in 2012 that might just happen! Oh glory! What a day that will be!!! I'm tired of these LIEberals and their socialist polices of wealth redistribution, crippling business, and endless terrorism against our way of life!
                      Those are certainly worthy goals, but you seem insincere.

                      Try my rewrite of it.
                      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                        Comment

                        • flatearther
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Apr 2010
                          • 10
                          #7
                          Re: Hello!

                          Satanist and socialist are the same thing!! I'm tired of my money going to feed poor children! Those kids need to get a job!

                            Comment

                            • Cranky Old Man
                              Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                              You kids get off his lawn!
                               
                              • Jan 2010
                              • 22380
                              #8
                              Re: Hello!

                              Originally posted by flatearther View Post
                              Those kids need to get a job!
                              As do you!
                              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                                Comment

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