To the Saved folks here at LBC

[Mr. Aloiscious]

Hello kind folks of LBC,

My name is Aloiscious, I'm 21, Baptist and have been following your goldy forum for some years now. I was lost, living in a part of Ontario where so many false gods are worshiped every day, I was a drug addict and my parents were pagan heathens who brainwashed me when I was young. When I was 17 I found your godly forums here on the internet and something told me that this was the truth, the way to salvation.

Since then I've cleaned up, live on my own, gotten a wonderful job in investing and send whatever spare money I get to God's favorite church. Granted it isn't much compared to any of you fine saved folks, but I aspire to make enough to move to Freehold Iowa some day and be rid of the sinful place.

I've no specific bible verse that I prefer over another, though I rather adore the book of Malachi. If there's anything else you'd like to know do feel free to ask.

Praise Jesus!

[James Hutchins]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

What Church do you attend?

How many sons do you have now?

[Petal]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

I've no specific bible verse that I prefer over another, though I rather adore the book of Malachi.

i lurve Malachi to, yay!

And ye shall tread down the wicked; for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet in the day that I shall do this, saith the LORD of hosts. <--- that be Malachi 4:3

lord God gonna burns a bunch of nawty folk, an then we gets to stomps arounds on thier ashes

welcome to our bootiful forums, Mr.Aloiscious!

[Brother Enoch]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

Welcome. You're from Ontario? I think that makes you our only member from California. Are there any Christians at all in your state?

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

Hello kind folks of LBC... I was lost, living in a part of Ontario where so many false gods are worshiped every day

I spent some quality time in your Country (technically as it was Quebec) and suspect you are from Toronto where they worship some outfit as odd as this Baptwit "Church"... something called the "Leafs".

A little research reveals that the these "Leafs" are a semi-professional ice-hockey team who have a following of delusional enthusiasts with a slippery grip on the stick of God-given common sense.




Sound familiar?

When I was 17 I found your godly forums here on the internet and something told me that this was the truth, the way to salvation.

That "something" was misleading you... call it the Devil. He loves to undo the holy work of the Catholic Church by every means possible including enticing the young into joining outrageous cults like Baptwitsm and Scientology.

Since then I've cleaned up, live on my own, gotten a wonderful job in investing and send whatever spare money I get to God's favorite church. Granted it isn't much...

A wonderful job in investing but you don't make much money? What do you invest in... higher education in Iowa?

I think you need to visit one of our many Parish branches and look into the true path to salvation. In Catholicism we are not consumed by the greed and avarice that Landover thrives on... we are humble servants of Jesus doing our best every day to live the kind of life He set by His own example while walking this earth.

You are still young and have your entire life ahead of you. Please do not waste it by getting mixed-up with these God-less grifters who only want your money so as to live in the kind of conspicuous consumption we Catholics have always preached against.






Bless you, my future Micheal Milken,
Father Mo





.

[James Dewitt]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

Father Maurice Lester don't you have some alter boys to molest.

[Mr. Aloiscious]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

To Mr. James Hutchins:

Sir, I currently attend the Toronto Baptist Chruch. It isn't much, but a start...I also listen to the fine sermons offered on your main website here. On the subject of sons, I've none yet as I've not met a fine Christian lady who holds the same beleifs as I. *e.g. Following the entire Bible, not just the fluffy bits.*

To Miss Petal:

Thank you, and may God be with you.

To Brother Enoch:

Not Califonia sir, I'm from Canada actually. There are other Christians here in Toronto; I've even taken my KJV 1611 out with me to spread the word to those without one in the streets. I currently have a bible study group with five other young men where we've been trying to emulate your "Bible in a Year'.

So maybe no True Christians, but perhaps by the time I've amassed enough to move to Freehold Iowa that others might inspire to do the same.


Father Maurice:

As you certainly noticed being as you can obviosly read, I addressed this to the Saved folk here at LBC. Therefore I feel no need to justify myself to you. Suffice it to say that by "not much" I mean that I am currently no wheres near a platinum tither's annual salary. Thusly, yes, not much by a relative comparisson.

Also, the voice of Jesus warns me against you. He says you're evil, and that you shall burn.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

Also, the voice of Jesus warns me against you. He says you're evil, and that you shall burn.

That is not the voice of Jesus. That is the voice of your insanity. Stop listening to that voice and start reading the KJV1611 Holy Bible. Now!

Why you need to follow the entire KJV1611 Holy Bible: 2 Timothy 3:16 "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness"

Why it is very important to avoid hell (you are heading straight for it at the moment): Psalm 9:17 "The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God." Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched"

[Mr. Aloiscious]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

That is not the voice of Jesus. That is the voice of your insanity. Stop listening to that voice and start reading the KJV1611 Holy Bible. Now!

I shall, good sir.
Before I do go to read my KJV let me explain a bit. Ever since I was ten-ish, I've heard the voice of Jesus in my head. I didn't beleive it was him at first, being all brainwashed and all. He used to tell me my parents were bad, heathen people who were leading me astray on the path to salvation.

At that age I didn't really know what He was talking about...In fact I didn't beleive it was even Him. My parents told me it was a demon inside me, and that if I listened to Him bad things would happen. But, he never has yet.

Tell me friend, were my parents right? Am I demon possessed? I certainly hope it's the voice of our Lord who guides me and not something else.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

I shall, good sir.
Before I do go to read my KJV let me explain a bit. Ever since I was ten-ish, I've heard the voice of Jesus in my head. I didn't beleive it was him at first, being all brainwashed and all. He used to tell me my parents were bad, heathen people who were leading me astray on the path to salvation.

At that age I didn't really know what He was talking about...In fact I didn't beleive it was even Him. My parents told me it was a demon inside me, and that if I listened to Him bad things would happen. But, he never has yet.

Tell me friend, were my parents right? Am I demon possessed? I certainly hope it's the voice of our Lord who guides me and not something else.

Well, I'm certainly not one of Landover's Demonologists so I can't say with any certainty. However, if that voice is warning you away from Father Mo and the sinful perversion of the Lord's Word that is Catholicism, and pointing you toward the True Christians(tm) here at Landover, I have to think that is much more likely to be Jesus than a Demon. The advice the voice gives is definitely spot-on.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: To the Saved folks here at LBC

Tell me friend, were my parents right? Am I demon possessed? I certainly hope it's the voice of our Lord who guides me and not something else.

It seems I might have been to harsh on you. It seems you might indeed be hearing the voice of Jesus in your head.