[Felicity]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

@Rasheed do you like reading the #KJV1611? I read it a LOT and I LOVE it!

[Rasheed]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

I will begin the arduous but worthwhile task of reading the Holy KJV.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Praise Him indeed!

It's a miracle! Praise The LORD!

[Rasheed]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

No, it's Jesus who does that. Jesus and the Holy Ghost are chasing the demons out of your colon even as we speak. Praise His name!

Praise Him indeed!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Your logical arguments and sensible views have begun to make me question my Islamic faith.

No, it's Jesus who does that. Jesus and the Holy Ghost are chasing the demons out of your colon even as we speak. Praise His name!

[Rasheed]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Your logical arguments and sensible views have begun to make me question my Islamic faith.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Please cure this poor mooslim of his stupidity and godlessness

I could not agree more Sister. If he would become a True Christian(tm) he could give us useful advice once Biblical law is implemented in America.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

If you don't mind I am going to print this out. Great tips, start at feet, avoid the head shot.

Indeed. Surprising as it may be, it seems we can learn a thing or two from Rasheed. Pity he will have to burn in Hell.

[James Dewitt]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.

If you don't mind I am going to print this out. Great tips, start at feet, avoid the head shot. Got it

[Rasheed]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Sweet Lord Jesus,

Please cure this poor mooslim of his stupidity and godlessness, my Sweet Lord, because he is devout, and might one day be a True Christian™ before you.

Please convince him that he really will go to Hell for worshipping rocks, Lord, like all heathens will have their place in the Lake of Fire. And thank you again for that inspiring sermon of Pastor Deacon Fred last Sunday about the Lake of Fire! Your Love is endless, and those sinners deserve their eternal punishment! Praised be Your Name!

Please cure this mooslim as well of his doubts about his masculinity, as all mooslims have, Lord. Teach him to be a True Christian™ Man of God, like the many sons you've blessed me and Azariah with!

Thank you for your wisdom in creating Hell, Sweet Jesus. Your punishments are righteous and just!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

What good will it do praying in Jesus' name? As the Qur'an makes abundantly clear, Jesus was not the son of God.

[Grandmother Wilson]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.

Sweet Lord Jesus,

Please cure this poor mooslim of his stupidity and godlessness, my Sweet Lord, because he is devout, and might one day be a True Christian(tm) before you.

Please convince him that he really will go to Hell for worshipping rocks, Lord, like all heathens will have their place in the Lake of Fire. And thank you again for that inspiring sermon of Pastor Deacon Fred last Sunday about the Lake of Fire! Your Love is endless, and those sinners deserve their eternal punishment! Praised be Your Name!

Please cure this mooslim as well of his doubts about his masculinity, as all mooslims have, Lord. Teach him to be a True Christian(tm) Man of God, like the many sons you've blessed me and Azariah with!

Thank you for your wisdom in creating Hell, Sweet Jesus. Your punishments are righteous and just!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.

While I don't condone your satanic cult, I will give you this much: You people know how to throw a stone.

[Rasheed]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Just today we had 2 homers and 3 blasphemers. We are going to need a lot of rocks. I wonder if Rasheed can give us any tips on the proper way to stone some one?

I find that the modern Muslim interpretation of "stoning" to be too liberal, light and ultimately too humane. These days a lot of people in my town have taken to going for headshots to ensure a quick death for the sinner but I remember a time when you started on the feet and only when they were crushed to a pulp would you proceed.

[James Dewitt]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Oh, life here is probably a lot better than you ignorant Westerners would think. I have been fortunate enough to have been given the authority by God to oversee and perform in Sharia punishments. So - no - I'm not technically allowed to stone people but I oversee the process and ensure the sinner is dead at the end.

Just today we had 2 homers and 3 blasphemers. We are going to need a lot of rocks. I wonder if Rasheed can give us any tips on the proper way to stone some one?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: The TOP 7 ways to go to HELL (and how to avoid them)

Oh, life here is probably a lot better than you ignorant Westerners would think. I have been fortunate enough to have been given the authority by God to oversee and perform in Sharia punishments. So - no - I'm not technically allowed to stone people but I oversee the process and ensure the sinner is dead at the end.

I have to admit that Iran is ahead of America in this area. Although you are following the wrong book, at least in your country that book is also the law. I cannot wait until Obama is replaced by Sarah Palin and we finally get Biblical laws in America. I has been way to long since anyone was stoned in America.