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  • David Ben Ahzea
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Apr 2010
    • 53

    #1

    Hello, Friends in Jesus.

    May God grant you your heart's desire (unless it involves fornication).

    Upon receipt of Pastor Flint's welcoming message, the Lord moved me to introduce myself to the righteous congregation of believers in the KJV. I am an ordained minister of the Free Totally Independent Baptist Church of The Southern Hebrides (but not Lugg), and hold a certificate to that effect from the Respected Forklift Creek (MD) Bible College, whose recent travails with the US IRS proved terminal, I am sorry to say. My admittedly semitic name was adopted in preparation for a short residence in Israel in advance of the Rapture and does not imply miscegenation with...I am not sure if I ought even to name them. My family line is white throughout.

    I have one small question: Pastor Flint's email setting out the path of righteousness on this forum said "We ask that you post respectfully and adhere to proper American grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules, as Jesus demands."

    I shall endeavor to comply with this, but would like to ask if the passive voice is deprecated by Jesus? I can find no clues as to this in the KJV or any of the concordances I use.

    With thanks

    Amen.
  • James Dewitt
    #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
    • Jan 2010
    • 6267

    #2
    Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

    Originally posted by David Ben Ahzea View Post
    May God grant you your heart's desire (unless it involves fornication).

    Upon receipt of Pastor Flint's welcoming message, the Lord moved me to introduce myself to the righteous congregation of believers in the KJV. I am an ordained minister of the Free Totally Independent Baptist Church of The Southern Hebrides (but not Lugg), and hold a certificate to that effect from the Respected Forklift Creek (MD) Bible College, whose recent travails with the US IRS proved terminal, I am sorry to say. My admittedly semitic name was adopted in preparation for a short residence in Israel in advance of the Rapture and does not imply miscegenation with...I am not sure if I ought even to name them. My family line is white throughout.

    I have one small question: Pastor Flint's email setting out the path of righteousness on this forum said "We ask that you post respectfully and adhere to proper American grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules, as Jesus demands."

    I shall endeavor to comply with this, but would like to ask if the passive voice is deprecated by Jesus? I can find no clues as to this in the KJV or any of the concordances I use.

    With thanks

    Amen.
    Welcome to God's Favorite Church. The Pastor requested you to use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation due to the fact that Jesus demands it.
    You wonder why that is? Tell me have you read the Bible, of course you have you are a Baptist Pastor. Have you ever found any errors in the Bible? You see if God and Jesus use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, we should too. YIC James

    Comment

    • David Ben Ahzea
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Apr 2010
      • 53

      #3
      Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

      Originally posted by James Dewitt View Post
      Welcome to God's Favorite Church. The Pastor requested you to use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation due to the fact that Jesus demands it.
      You wonder why that is? Tell me have you read the Bible, of course you have you are a Baptist Pastor. Have you ever found any errors in the Bible? You see if God and Jesus use proper spelling, grammar and punctuation, we should too. YIC James
      My thanks for your kind intervention. Of course, neither the Bible (which our congregation, unlike the Gaelic-speaking heathen Free Presbyterians of Lugg, reads in God's only authorised tongue, English) nor Our Lord could for a moment sanction the improper use of the divine language. And I am aware - to anticipate you - that so - called "American English" is the only acceptable version. But Jesus' wishes on the topic of active and passive verbs are not readily apparent from my studies of Holy Writ, and I would welcome your advice on this. I would have expected Our Lord to have a very clear view on this subject.

      Comment

      • Cranky Old Man
        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
        You kids get off his lawn!
         
        • Jan 2010
        • 22374

        #4
        Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

        Welcome to our friendly forum!

        What is your favorite scripture?
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • David Ben Ahzea
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Apr 2010
          • 53

          #5
          Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

          Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
          Welcome to our friendly forum!

          What is your favorite scripture?
          Thank you for your most Christian welcome, sir.

          It would be impious to admit to having a favourite passage, because the entire KJV Bible, being the true Word of God, is perfect,and allows of no earthly and profane comparisons.

          But I have a wholly secular fondness for Revelation 12:14 -

          "And to the woman were given two wings of a great eagle, that she might fly into the wilderness, into her place, where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time, from the face of the serpent."

          Profound, and awesome.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

            Welcome to God's favorite forum. Are you an ex-joo? I'm curious about your name, friend?

            Please tell us about your church. What do your parishoners call you? And how do you deal with the abo problem?
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • David Ben Ahzea
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Apr 2010
              • 53

              #7
              Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              Welcome to God's favorite forum. Are you an ex-joo? I'm curious about your name, friend?

              Please tell us about your church. What do your parishoners call you? And how do you deal with the abo problem?
              What a friendly forum this is! Obviously inspired by the love of Jesus, which of course is tough love, and not the homo soft nancy kind.

              My given name is Duncan MacAskew (see above for my reason for changing this), and my parishioners call me "sir". We have no aboriginals in the Southern Hebrides, but immigrants under the guise of tourists occasionally brave the ferry crossing here but dare not re-embark on the return journey. Videos of these are sent by our Mission to their concerned relatives, and they are often kind enough to donate to our Jesus Warchest in appreciation either of their loved ones' return, or not, as the case may be. Visitors showing sincere repentance and knowledge of the KJV are, however, sometimes permitted to purchase a humble dwelling here.

              I hope this answers your question.

              Comment

              • Cranky Old Man
                Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                You kids get off his lawn!
                 
                • Jan 2010
                • 22374

                #8
                Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                Originally posted by David Ben Ahzea View Post
                Profound, and awesome.
                I could not agree more! It is so nice when some of the visitors to our site turn out to be civilized.
                5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                Comment

                • Chris T
                  Forum Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Apr 2010
                  • 134

                  #9
                  Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                  Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                  I could not agree more! It is so nice when some of the visitors to our site turn out to be civilized.
                  Amen, Cranky Old Man! There have been so many false Christians and Godmockers lately it's nice to finally get someone civil!
                  Praise God!
                  Doing the Lord's work for His favorite country!


                  2 Chronicles 15:13 "That whosoever would not seek the LORD God of Israel should be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman."

                  Comment

                  • Jedediah
                    True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                    Fisher of Men
                    True Christian™
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 6824

                    #10
                    Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                    Welcome to the forum! Do you have a family?
                    II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                    And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                    In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                    Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



                    The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                    Comment

                    • David Ben Ahzea
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Apr 2010
                      • 53

                      #11
                      Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                      Originally posted by Jedediah View Post
                      Welcome to the forum! Do you have a family?
                      Indeed, I have been blessed by the Lord with a wife, a firstborn and a secondborn. We are all born-again, as well. My meek and godly wife speaks only when spoken to, and excels in cooking and sewing. We keep our two young boys (5 and 7) on the path of righteousness with a daily flogging, whether they have sinned or not.

                      Comment

                      • Jedediah
                        True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                        Fisher of Men
                        True Christian™
                        • Feb 2010
                        • 6824

                        #12
                        Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                        How great that the LORD has seen fit to bless you with sons! My wife and I have a son-to-daughter ratio of 5 to 0, and we're going to be shooting for number 6 later during the summer.

                        My father was never around to discipline me as a child, and I developed some serious... issues... as a result during adolescence, which later necessitated a summer of reorientation therapy to get me right with the LORD.

                        Except for my youngest (his head is still soft), I keep the bottoms of my sons as red as beets. It's amazing how young they start with the sassy back-talk and disrespect of authority. They will thank me when they are well-adjusted, older and have young Christian soldiers of their own.

                        As fathers and husbands, we hold ultimate authority in the household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that we will ultimately answer to God for our actions and decisions. The final decision rests with us, so whatever the outcome is, it is ours to bear. We hold authority to utilize corporal punishment on our wives for disciplinary reasons as well.

                        I take my authority to use corporal punishment on my wife quite seriously and only be utilize it on occasions where one of the "Four D's" has been violated:

                        Disobedience
                        Disrespect
                        Dishonesty
                        Danger (e.g., reckless driving, not following doctor's orders, undercooking meat)

                        This style of traditional male-led Christian marriage may seem unusual in today's "modern", liberal, politically correct, anti-God culture. This unholy culture, with its radically selfish feminism, and wholesale bias against true manhood, launches relentless attacks against traditional Christian family values.

                        I seem to have gone off on a tangent. The subject Christian domestic discipline is near and dear to my heart. I shall leave you with the following Scripture:
                        Hebrews 12:11
                        Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

                        Romans 12:2
                        And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

                        II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                        And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                        In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                        Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



                        The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                        Comment

                        • Brad Crassley
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          • Apr 2010
                          • 98

                          #13
                          Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                          Originally posted by David Ben Ahzea View Post
                          May God grant you your heart's desire (unless it involves fornication).

                          Upon receipt of Pastor Flint's welcoming message, the Lord moved me to introduce myself to the righteous congregation of believers in the KJV. I am an ordained minister of the Free Totally Independent Baptist Church of The Southern Hebrides (but not Lugg), and hold a certificate to that effect from the Respected Forklift Creek (MD) Bible College, whose recent travails with the US IRS proved terminal, I am sorry to say. My admittedly semitic name was adopted in preparation for a short residence in Israel in advance of the Rapture and does not imply miscegenation with...I am not sure if I ought even to name them. My family line is white throughout.

                          I have one small question: Pastor Flint's email setting out the path of righteousness on this forum said "We ask that you post respectfully and adhere to proper American grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules, as Jesus demands."

                          I shall endeavor to comply with this, but would like to ask if the passive voice is deprecated by Jesus? I can find no clues as to this in the KJV or any of the concordances I use.

                          With thanks

                          Amen.
                          Neat! Glad to see another pastor on here. I was a Pastor at a church that Joel Olsteen's father used to preach at. I also received a degree at the Southern Baptist Convention .

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Ezekiel
                            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                             
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 78556

                            #14
                            Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                            Originally posted by Brad Crassley View Post
                            I also received a degree at the Southern Baptist Convention .
                            FYI we broke with the apostates at the SBC years ago. They support sodomy for one thing.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • James Dewitt
                              #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                              • Jan 2010
                              • 6267

                              #15
                              Re: Hello, Friends in Jesus.

                              Thank you for pointing that out Pastor. It is just another example of being a false Christian. I hope deep in my heart that they repent, Praise Jesus. Some so called Christians do not understand how hard it is to be called a True Christian(TM) the cross we bear is all most unbearable. Lord give me the strength to carry out your commands. Thank you Jesus!

                              Comment

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