[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Hey there.

Indeed, I wish I could have been there alongside the pirates of old. If only the Hari Krishna had not destroyed them...

@ Mr. Tranny

It is customary among civilized peoples to introduce oneself. Please refrain from your foul brand of spaghetti worshipping blasphemy on our Godly message board.

[Nicholas Trano]

Re: Hey there.

Perhaps one day the noodly one will show himself to these nonbelievers, and they will cast down their false god.

RAmen, brother.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Hey there.

Indeed, I wish I could have been there alongside the pirates of old. If only the Hari Krishna had not destroyed them...

Not destroyed, in hiding, hopefully one day to return to take their rightful place in the world as God's chosen people, and the heritage of the Pirate lives on in all of us that accept The Great Noodle as Our Lord.

[Nicholas Trano]

Re: Hey there.

Indeed, I wish I could have been there alongside the pirates of old. If only the Hari Krishna had not destroyed them...

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Hey there.

I am sorry Jesus, I did my very best for you. He is ignoring the Truth©

No You People are the ones ignoring the TRUTH.

You don't have the right to Judge it is none of thine business. Only The FSM has any right to judge his creation.

You should be eating less pies and more Pasta.

Now go away and study the Holy scriptures of The Flying Spaghetti Monster.

RAmen & Cheers.

[Benedict A. Davis]

Re: Hey there.

I am sorry Jesus, I did my very best for you. He is ignoring the Truth©

God knows you did all you could brother, I will pray for you to have this ache removed from your heart.

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Hey there.

I am sorry Jesus, I did my very best for you. He is ignoring the Truth(c)

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Hey there.

Perhaps you are right. The god of these Baptists is a cruel, evil, twisted thing. The flying spaghetti monster is much more plausible. Tell me more about your One True God.

The One True God created the world and everything in it 5,000 years ago, we are all touched by His Noodly Appendage, and if you lead a good life you will be rewarded in Heaven with a access to The Beer Volcano and The Stripper Factory. Unlike the twisted version of God that these people push even if you do not believe, as long as you have lead a good life, you will gain access to Heaven, it is just that you will have to wait table or perform some other such task and only have access to the "perks" of Heaven in your off hours, but this should only be a transitional period while you come to accept what you had not accepted in life.

You can find more about The Great Noodle here:
A Condensed History of the World
The Holy Noodle
Edd's Letters

And here are the The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn't s

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey = Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.

6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):

A. Ending Poverty
B. Curing Diseases
C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

You can also find links to The Holy Scripture in my signature.

[Nicholas Trano]

Re: Hey there.

Why would I believe you? I've been disillusioned with Christianity for quite some time. You all were merely the last nail in the coffin. The Flying Spaghetti monster is the true god. The loving god. The accepting god. Your 'god' is an archaic con scheme designed to shackle the masses with its sweet promises... 'Do exactly what I say or you'll burn in hell for ever.' Who would fall for that?

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Hey there.

Perhaps you are right. The god of these Baptists is a cruel, evil, twisted thing. The flying spaghetti monster is much more plausible. Tell me more about your One True God.

You start this thread talking about the "Heart of Christianity" yet you have changed your mind already!?

Was it something we said? Know that we are just following the Bible - some people have a hard time accepting God's word. The secret is to stop being a coward, and to submit.

Do not listen to Jo Freddie... he doesn't know what he's going on about.

[Nicholas Trano]

Re: Hey there.

Perhaps you are right. The god of these Baptists is a cruel, evil, twisted thing. The flying spaghetti monster is much more plausible. Tell me more about your One True God.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Hey there.

On a moral level, why are you more human than I? Because I'm different from you you say I am condemned to an eternity of hellfire. I come to this corner of the internet seeking acceptaance. You all sign your posts with 'Faith and Compassion' or ' Yours in Christ'... but I have yet to see any compassion... Christ was a compassionate man. He was not hateful. You are all filled with spite, and perhaps you are the ones in need of salvation... God has led me to this place in order to help, not be helped.

You probably believe 'gay' is a disease that you can catch.

I did warn you.

If you think that shows the heart of christianity I am sure many here will set you right on that point very quickly, but that will only go to show the failings of that religion.
You need to find the TRUTH and in finding the TRUTH you will find The One True Religion, a religion that will accept you for who you are.

These people will not help you find a relationship with the One True God, you will only find that if you accept The Flying Spaghetti Monster as the One True God, He created everything and everyone, and it for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business to Judge what The Lord has created.

[Nicholas Trano]

Re: Hey there.

On a moral level, why are you more human than I? Because I'm different from you you say I am condemned to an eternity of hellfire. I come to this corner of the internet seeking acceptaance. You all sign your posts with 'Faith and Compassion' or ' Yours in Christ'... but I have yet to see any compassion... Christ was a compassionate man. He was not hateful. You are all filled with spite, and perhaps you are the ones in need of salvation... God has led me to this place in order to help, not be helped.

You probably believe 'gay' is a disease that you can catch.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hey there.

I fear that you are the one who needs to find god. You consider yourself perfect, and hate all who are different from you. The devil would approve.

Stop lying! You don't even use a capital G when you mention God so you have clearly chosen satan and unless you repent and choose Jesus you will burn in hell for all eternity!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hey there.

I fear that you are the one who needs to find god. You consider yourself perfect, and hate all who are different from you. The devil would approve.

On the contrary, the devil will be disappointed... but not in you and your heresies.

Does not God give us KJV1611 as the absolute standard from which we should not deviate? (Unlike you, weirdo.)

Does this in anyway indicate we should love those who are not "Of the Lord"?

2nd Corinthians 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2nd Corinthians 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2nd Corinthians 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate , saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,