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  • #1

    Hello fellow worshipers!

    My name is Jeremiah and I'm a local resident of the fine state of Mississippi. I am fully devoted to God and the great (and correct) religion that is Christianity. I pray at least an hour a day and as I am a farmer on the outskirts of the state, I need to bring in a pastor three times a week to hold a service for me in my homemade chapel. I'm very excited to be part of this great site!

    Yours truly,
    Jeremiah

    May God bless.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

    Welcome to God's favorite forum, friend.

    If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

    If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

    You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

    Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

      Hey Jeremiah! Named after a great book in the Bible too. I particularily like verse 2:30.

      In vain have I smitten your children; they received no correction: your own sword hath devoured your prophets, like a destroying lion.

      What's your favorite Bible verse? How old are you? Have you fathered any soldiers for Christ yet?


      YES! I AM A CLOWN FOR CHRIST! Owner/Operator of Lord's Derisive Laughter Christian Clown Ministry.
      Read my inspiring testimonial of how I came to Christ!
      Rebuko's Sleepover Castle - Let your kids spend the night at my place for a One-Night Jesus Camp experience!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

        Originally posted by Jeremiah View Post
        My name is Jeremiah and I'm a local resident of the fine state of Mississippi. I am fully devoted to God and the great (and correct) religion that is Christianity. I pray at least an hour a day and as I am a farmer on the outskirts of the state, I need to bring in a pastor three times a week to hold a service for me in my homemade chapel. I'm very excited to be part of this great site!

        Yours truly,
        Jeremiah

        May God bless.
        Are you trying to say you are from Alabama, or were you public school educated?
        sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
        Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
        Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
        Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

          Originally posted by Rebuko the Clown View Post
          Hey Jeremiah! Named after a great book in the Bible too. I particularily like verse 2:30.

          In vain have I smitten your children; they received no correction: your own sword hath devoured your prophets, like a destroying lion.

          What's your favorite Bible verse? How old are you? Have you fathered any soldiers for Christ yet?
          Well I have many favorites, but my all time favorite is Deuteronomy 31:6 -

          "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

          And yes I am a father of a 4 and a half year old son - another devoted follower of the Lord I am 25 years old as well.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

            There better be another child on the way.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

              Originally posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
              Are you trying to say you are from Alabama, or were you public school educated?
              Well I am about 10 miles from Meridian, Mississippi, therefore somewhat close to Alabama, but what I meant to portray is that I am in a very rural area as I am a farmer. I was home schooled as were all the previous generations of my family.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                Welcome there, Brother.

                Are you married to a good Christian(tm) woman? What crops do you farm?
                6
                A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
                "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

                Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
                If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

                GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                  Originally posted by Jeremiah View Post
                  Well I am about 10 miles from Meridian, Mississippi, therefore somewhat close to Alabama, but what I meant to portray is that I am in a very rural area as I am a farmer. I was home schooled as were all the previous generations of my family.
                  Cutting cotton? How much land are you working?
                  sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                  Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                  Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                  Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                    As for how I came to find Jesus, He was always in my family - like a close family friend. My family was always religious (as all families should be!!). I came across this site while I was surfing the net (yes even I get internet on my farm ) and it was like a calling from God himself! Finally a site where I can communicate and question people like myself when my pastor isn't available. This really is a lifeline

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                      Originally posted by Jeremiah View Post
                      As for how I came to find Jesus, He was always in my family - like a close family friend. My family was always religious (as all families should be!!). I came across this site while I was surfing the net (yes even I get internet on my farm ) and it was like a calling from God himself! Finally a site where I can communicate and question people like myself when my pastor isn't available. This really is a lifeline
                      So tell us about your Baptism, a story I never tire in hearing.
                      sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
                      Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
                      Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
                      Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                        Well about that......I was baptized as a baby (as is custom for Catholicism) therefore I don't remember anything about it.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                          Originally posted by Jeremiah View Post
                          Well about that......I was baptized as a baby (as is custom for Catholicism) therefore I don't remember anything about it.
                          You are CathLick?
                          2 Chronicles 7:14
                          14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                            Originally posted by Sister Charli View Post
                            You are CathLick?
                            Well no. I was born Catholic....I don't believe in it now though.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Hello fellow worshipers!

                              Originally posted by Jeremiah View Post
                              Well no. I was born Catholic....I don't believe in it now though.
                              And what exactly do you believe, fork-tongued deceiver?
                              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                              Comment

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