Hello

[Moonworshipper]

Hello brothers and sisters.
I am a Moslem, moon worshipping terrorist scum, from the wastelands of Pakistan. I hate myself. I hate my religion, my country, my people. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have even contemplated suicide...

One day I was browsing the web for guidance when God led me to the landover Baptist church. Tears filled my eyes as I saw this forum, I was convinced that I had to join this church. This is the only way to live, of that I am sure.

Please, let me in. I want to go to heaven too.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello

Well now, you certainly seem to have the right spirit.

Maybe you and I could have a tasty ham and cheese sandwich with plenty of mayonnaise. We could even wash it down with some cold refreshing beers.

[handmaiden]

Re: Hello

Well now, you certainly seem to have the right spirit.

Maybe you and I could have a tasty ham and cheese sandwich with plenty of mayonnaise. We could even wash it down with some cold refreshing beers.

Don't forget to eat with your left hand.

Helpfully Yours,

Handmaiden

[Brother Snapper Grogan]

Re: Hello

Hello brothers and sisters.
I am a Moslem, moon worshipping terrorist scum

You worship a lump of rock?

I've got to say, that's quite as weird as worshipping a bowl of pasta and meatballs. Maybe weirder. At least you can eat pasta and meatballs.

[Lisa H]

Re: Hello

Hello brothers and sisters.
I am a Moslem, moon worshipping terrorist scum, from the wastelands of Pakistan. I hate myself. I hate my religion, my country, my people. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have even contemplated suicide...

One day I was browsing the web for guidance when God led me to the landover Baptist church. Tears filled my eyes as I saw this forum, I was convinced that I had to join this church. This is the only way to live, of that I am sure.

Please, let me in. I want to go to heaven too.

If you are Moslem you will be killed by Allah for no longer believing in him.

[Moonworshipper]

Re: Hello

If you are Moslem you will be killed by Allah for no longer believing in him.

Won't the church protect me?

[Levi Jones]

Re: Hello

Won't the church protect me?

Of course! Now, how about ham sandwiches and cheese with cream gravy for lunch?

I was thinking shrimp stuffed lobster wrapped in bacon for dinner.

I can't wait to cook for you, my new friend.

[Moonworshipper]

Re: Hello

Of course! Now, how about ham sandwiches and cheese with cream gravy for lunch?

I was thinking shrimp stuffed lobster wrapped in bacon for dinner.

I can't wait to cook for you, my new friend.

Thank you brother. I was right about the church. You have welcomed me with open arms. I am grateful.

I can't wait to eat ham sandwiches! The stupid Moslems here never let me eat it, but now I can.

[landoverlover]

Re: Hello

I hate myself. I hate my religion, my country, my people. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have even contemplated suicide...



Well, those things are a start....

[Morgana]

Re: Hello

Won't the church protect me?

This church? Don't hold your breath.

I tell you what however. If you are really serious about Christianity....Please join...then when you come to America enlist in the Marine Corps and be a travel agent for Allah! Then you will never have to worry about any Muslims coming after you again!

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Hello

I have even contemplated suicide...

That's a shocker.

[Sister Charli]

Re: Hello

Welcome Moonworshipper.

If you don't have a KJV1611 bible you can get an online one here.

We will give you a day or two to read it and tell us your favourite verse.

[Moonworshipper]

Re: Hello

Welcome Moonworshipper.

If you don't have a KJV1611 bible you can get an online one here.

We will give you a day or two to read it and tell us your favourite verse.

Bless you sister. If there is a heaven on earth, it is this church.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello

Hello brothers and sisters.
I am a Moslem, moon worshipping terrorist scum, from the wastelands of Pakistan. I hate myself. I hate my religion, my country, my people. Everyday is a struggle for me. I have even contemplated suicide...

One day I was browsing the web for guidance when God led me to the landover Baptist church. Tears filled my eyes as I saw this forum, I was convinced that I had to join this church. This is the only way to live, of that I am sure.

Please, let me in. I want to go to heaven too.

TERRORIST!!! TERRORRIST!!! SECURITY!!!

[proteastantguy]

Re: Hello

TERRORIST!!! TERRORRIST!!! SECURITY!!!

You should at least be happy that he admits it, and doesn't want to be it.