Hi!

[Jacob Snitch]

Hey True Christians, my name is Jacob, and I love every single one of you. All of you are pure, holy, saved souls who spend every minute of you day being amazing. You are everything wonderful in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been unholy? I mean I guess it is fun to love Christ, but you guys take it to a whole new level. This is even better than going to church.

Don't be a heathen, just worship the lord. I am pretty pure too. I am captain of the bible study team, and top member in my abstinence club. I also pray every hour and have a nice leather King James Bible(I just read it, book was SO holy.) You are all wonderful people who should continue to worship the lord. Thanks for listening.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi!

If you actually read the Bible, you'd know your first statement is full of falsehoods.
You'd know to always capitalize the 'B' in Bible.
You'd know God does not love everyone, certainly not you!

[Jacob Snitch]

Re: Hi!

If you actually read the Bible, you'd know your first statement is full of falsehoods.
You'd know to always capitalize the 'B' in Bible.
You'd know God does not love everyone, certainly not you!

Hey, bro, I apologize for not capitalizing the "B". I forgot. I am only human right?

I know that god does not love everyone. He abhors a long list of things. I merely said that I love every single one of you.

I apologize for these misunderstandings.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi!

Bro???? Only Human???? A man that spits on God?

You a homer son?

[Jacob Snitch]

Re: Hi!

Bro???? Only Human???? A man that spits on God?

You a homer son?

I do not spit on God, I worship him.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hi!

I do not spit on God, I worship Him.

Corrected.

Hey, bro, I apologize for not capitalizing the "B". I forgot. I am only human right?

I know that God does not love everyone. He abhors a long list of things. I merely said that I love every single one of you.

I apologize for these misunderstandings.

Corrected.

Sorry, I was distracted by your obvious disrespect for God. You respect Him so little that you consistently and without fail capitalize "I" in reference to your precious self, but refuse to capitalize "God" or "Him", His holy pronoun.

You were saying? Maybe you should start over, and try being sincere. I promise to pay attention this time.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hi!

Did you notice, he did not refute being outed as one of those homers. I knew he was a rectum sucker.

[Jacob Snitch]

Re: Hi!

Homosexuals are an abomination onto the Lord. They disgust me. I apologize for not using proper capitalization for God and Him.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi!

Hey True Christians, my name is Jacob, and I love every single one of you. All of you are pure, holy, saved souls who spend every minute of you day being amazing. You are everything wonderful in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever been unholy? I mean I guess it is fun to love Christ, but you guys take it to a whole new level. This is even better than going to church.

Don't be a heathen, just worship the lord. I am pretty pure too. I am captain of the bible study team, and top member in my abstinence club. I also pray every hour and have a nice leather King James Bible(I just read it, book was SO holy.) You are all wonderful people who should continue to worship the lord. Thanks for listening.

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What church do you attend?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Jacob Snitch]

Re: Hi!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. What church do you attend?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

Interesting read, sir.