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  • #16
    Re: Are these people kidding?

    Originally posted by JennyD View Post
    Mr. Jingles, sir, I believe you may have overlooked my initial post. I was blessed by Jesus; when I was at the tender age of five, God smote my Catholic parents with a horrible case of cyanide poisoning (having nothing whatsoever to do with my playing homemaker) and put me in the care of a good Christian orphanage.

    Er, are you a single Christian gentleman, by any chance?
    No, I missed that post; i'm glad to hear that Jesus threw your parents into the lake of fire, though. It only proves how much he loves you.

    Me, i'm engaged to a fine West Virginia girl who is functionally illiterate. She loves Jesus & does everything I tell her to-plus, she's got a purty mouth.

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    • #17
      Re: Are these people kidding?

      Oh, how wonderful for you Brother Jingles! She sounds like she'll make a fine Christian housewife. How many babies do you plan to have her make?
      Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
      in 2016

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      • #18
        Re: Are these people kidding?

        I plan on making her do without children for sometime,
        and when she has slipped in her love of me, I shall place seed into her belly, until she hast given up her sin through the work of a child.


        Indeed, could I not be a good christian Husband?

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        • #19
          Re: Are these people kidding?

          Originally posted by I am n00b View Post
          I plan on making her do without children for sometime,
          and when she has slipped in her love of me, I shall place seed into her belly, until she hast given up her sin through the work of a child.


          Indeed, could I not be a good christian Husband?
          Well, for one thing, you aren't a REAL Christian. It says "unsaved trash" right there under your name.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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          • #20
            Re: Are these people kidding?

            Originally posted by Mr. Jingles View Post
            Jenny D; it's amazing that you survived your Catholic upbringing; I hope you no longer have any contact with your Mary-worshipping family.
            Amen! I was just looking at a web site talking about French marriage. France is a Catholic country you know, in the process of being converted to Islam. In France, they've made it illegal to be married to just one person...



            ...unless it's a gay marriage, of course. President Bush needs to lean hard on his lapdog Sarkozy to convert (by force, if necessary) all the Mary-worshippers in his country to a True Christian religion. The Muslims, of course, should just be waterboarded and deported, or exterminated.

            Again, welcome to LBC. Time to take my Thorazine.

            Feel the love of Jesus,
            Buford
            yours in Christ,
            Brother Buford

            sigpic

            The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
            - Rush Limbaugh

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