[Nobar King]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

My dog is singing again. Do you think I think him fluffy? Because of his loyalty? That is genetics, darling -- he guards my home, devours intruders, maims enemies, etc.

Does he really guard your house, or is it just some noisy chihuahua pissing off your neighbors? I doubt it is devouring or maiming anyone, or the Peta radicals would be on your ass.

[Magnum Innominandum]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

I think you are missing the basic point. You have no right to think. You thought bunnies were cute, did you? Crab lice are cute too -- until they gnaw at the fringes of your baby oven and you become nothing better than a compulsive masturbator, itchy-scratchy. What you think about the people you bake pies for matters not one whit to the Lord.

Carrots are evil in their shape and form. Lettuce? This does not remind you of labia? Of the fig leaves that covered the (already artistically reduced) manhood of the cold marble idols of the most despicable rationalists, and also of brawny imperialists who long ago met their maker? Of Caesar himself? When I see lettuce, I think of raw eggs, anchovies, and Rome. Of men who threw believers to the lions.

Personally, I detest Freud -- just as I detest poofters and British spellings. But this is our arsenal! One man's color is another woman's colour -- shall the peacock lie between them? Nay! Not until the beauty of the Apocalypse overwhelms us all!

[Rogue Witch]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

I think you are missing the basic point. You have no right to think. You thought bunnies were cute, did you? Crab lice are cute too -- until they gnaw at the fringes of your baby oven and you become nothing better than a compulsive masturbator, itchy-scratchy. What you think about the people you bake pies for matters not one whit to the Lord.

Carrots are evil in their shape and form. Lettuce? This does not remind you of labia? Of the fig leaves that covered the (already artistically reduced) manhood of the cold marble idols of the most despicable rationalists, and also of brawny imperialists who long ago met their maker? Of Caesar himself? When I see lettuce, I think of raw eggs, anchovies, and Rome. Of men who threw believers to the lions.

When I think of lettice and carrots, I think of a salad bar, not some icky, perverted parts.
And I've never thought crab lice were cute!

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

Are you sure that's not just a bottle of Mezcal ?

Jesus has obviously enhanced your perception, Wide-Open. Yes, you are right. After I had the operation, I was lucky enough to get the worm in every bottle of mezcal. I came to realize that this was just Nietzsche's eternal recurrence of the Chihuahua penis that first raped me. Thus my luck -- or was it fate? -- seemed to me superfluous in the eyes of the Lord. I drank the mezcal -- yea, by the liter (note humanistic metric system). I have marinated my very "stones" in mezcal! Does that make me better in the eyes of the Lord? Wotse! Even shrimps -- the little bitty kind we get in Europe, far from Las Vegas and its gorgeous giant cocktails -- upset me. I feel like a virgin with cupcake-breasts ensconced in the lap of Jupiter. Were I in America again, with its advanced bombers, I am sure I would be eating tiger shrimp. But that is not to be. Alas and alack, I am Scandinavian woman, and woe is me.

While I am encouraged that the Europeons have seen fit to find creative uses for this distillation, I must caution against its use because of potential for neurological damage. While it may seem exotic due to papist inspired marketing campaigns, Mezcal (Con Gusano) is used primarily in this country as an accelerant to light charcoal fires for cooking and searing meat.

[Magnum Innominandum]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

When I think of lettice and carrots, I think of a salad bar, not some icky, perverted parts.
And I've never thought crab lice were cute!

One should look beyond appearances. Much of the lettuce we eat is picked by illegal aliens -- swarthy, criminal men who have been in contact with the chupacabra and help spread its depredations northward.


Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[Magnum Innominandum]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

Where to start, where to start... OK, first of all: Jean-Claude Vandamme. Hah! Beat that!

Right.

Whether fries are Belgian or French... the jury is still out on that one. We kicked Napoleon's behind purely on this matter... But they were invented before Belgium wuz, so it's rather difficult to call them Belgiums fries, isn't it ?

When the Amerikans kind US troops fought the Battle of the Bulge (a rather UnChristian name, but passons) they encountered this delicacy for the first time, and as the people in the Ardennes spoke French, they called it "french fries". So basically, we created McDonalds, if you will
Incidently: the Walloons were forced to speak French, as originally they spoke a local dialect, called (I'll be damned): Walloon. A little known fact.

The British folk call them chips, but you wouldn't think Intel invented them would you ?

The Belgians also created the Satanic instrument that Bill Klingon pretended to play. OK, maybe we better hush about that one (and no, I'm not talking cigars).

Won't bore you with the painters or scientists, they are all heithens anyway. Or papists. Or both. We are the world N°1 when it comes to beer though.

As for Flemish or Walloon ... don't get me started on politics. Maybe your media want you to believe we currently have no government, but we have seven of the buggers. Se-ven.Plus we are ruled by communist EU anyway, so make that eight. -ish.

Personally, I think they should all be abolished, and Belgium should become a US state. I mean, you can't keep blaming us for continental drift, can you ?

Though this forum has at last stuffed Godly handkerchiefs down the deformed throats of the demons that kept me from sleep, the profound questions posed here now keep me awake. I end up drinking Trappist beer, a cathylick trap if there ever was one, just to get a few winks. Chimay distracts me from the Lord's work.

Re Van Damme -- I may not be able to beat him physically (female, I faint at every opportunity) -- but I saw a seditious movie wherein he portrayed a Cajun (i.e., a descendant of French-speaking cultists so evil that they were driven even from Canada and persist in the swamps of Louisiana) and interfered with the hunting of Negroes in New Orleans for sport. This seemed very communist to me -- the Negroes were homeless and had therefore agreed to be hunted, to get a handout if the hunters missed, and the hunters were enterprising white capitalists.

Then there is Jacques Brel. There must be a reason why Satan chose the sepulchral city, the capital of your non-country, as the seat of his European empire!

Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[Nobar King]

Re: Humble greetings from a penitent

I end up drinking Trappist beer, a cathylick trap if there ever was one, just to get a few winks. Chimay distracts me from the Lord's work.

Stop bragging about your fancy beer made by tongueless virgins.