I'm new and scared! Please help!

[fourinches]

Hi, everyone!
I was looking around the site and saw Cranky Old Man's signature and it said that I had to follow him on Twitter or burn in Hell! I love God more than anything like I should, and I only follow Him as He is the Absolute Ruler and Creator of the universe and beyond.
I don't want to burn in Hell, so do I have to make a Twitter account and follow Cranky Old Man's teachings? I only follow God's eternal and unchanging word, otherwise, I will go to Hell.
I'm at a dilemma, I know I must only follow God, so is Cranky Old Man saying that he is God? I surely hope he isn't because that is a sin and will cast you surely to Hell for eternity.


Praise God for all eternity.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

Welcome stubby!
How many sons have you sired?
What is your favorite passage (nut jet verse) from the KJV and why? Bring it up from your soul son, do not hold back.
Who gave you the nick name, your mom or your sister?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

Welcome to our friendly forum!

I am not God. I am just a humble servant. If you do anything the kJV1611 Holy Bible says you should be good, with or without following my Twitter feed.

My signature is just a friendly reminder that following my Twitter feed can help you do the right thing.

[fourinches]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

James Hutchins, I have yet to, but my favorite is Genesis 1:1. Of course, God is the creator of the universe and beyond and this simple sentence clearly states it if anyone has doubts.
And, I actually have the name because it is a type of car part, and not a reference to a phallus organ. Please do not talk to me or reference such things because of my young age; I would start to assume you are a pedophile, especially if you are trying to reference that I have had sex with or sexual encounters with either of the two.

[fourinches]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

Cranky Old Man, if you are not God, then you cannot decide someone's fate! Saying that you can is saying that you have divine powers which conflicts with the word of God! I pray that you remove it and repent for the evil that you have suggested.<br>If you act like you have powers to warn or scare people into doing what you tell them to, then you are a terrorist because terrorists terrorize people into being scared. Which is what you're doing!<br>Repent and ask God for His forgiveness so that you will not burn in Hell, eternally!<br>I cannot believe that this site would allow people to try to impersonate God or act like they share his powers!!<br>

[Bible Student]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

Hi, everyone!
I was looking around the site and saw Cranky Old Man's signature and it said that I had to follow him on Twitter or burn in Hell! I love God more than anything like I should, and I only follow Him as He is the Absolute Ruler and Creator of the universe and beyond.
I don't want to burn in Hell, so do I have to make a Twitter account and follow Cranky Old Man's teachings? I only follow God's eternal and unchanging word, otherwise, I will go to Hell.
I'm at a dilemma, I know I must only follow God, so is Cranky Old Man saying that he is God? I surely hope he isn't because that is a sin and will cast you surely to Hell for eternity.


Praise God for all eternity.

If your computer skills have yet to allow you to initiate a Twitter account, I am sure our beloved Jesus might permit you to follow Cranky Old Man's footsteps around this forum so that you might glean from his wisdom enough insight to save your immortal soul and avoid the travesty of eternal pain and suffering.

I am sure I have read Cranky Old Man explicitly state that he has not the power to cast you into hell. He is mere, out of loving True Christian concern, reminding you that our Lord Jesus Himself will condemn you to the blistering inferno if you fail to follow his every word as found in the inerrant and literal 1611 King James Bible.

I empathize with your trepidation but now I must return to the study of my 1611 King James Bible. Eternity is fast approaching and I must be prepared.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

You are only here to try and harass us because of your lack of True Christian™ male endowment. Jesus sent you because of your covetous behavior.

Witness your inadequacies to us so that we may judge you and save you from all your numerous sins.

Hi, everyone!
I was looking around the site and saw Cranky Old Man's signature and it said that I had to follow him on Twitter or burn in Hell! I love God more than anything like I should, and I only follow Him as He is the Absolute Ruler and Creator of the universe and beyond.
I don't want to burn in Hell, so do I have to make a Twitter account and follow Cranky Old Man's teachings? I only follow God's eternal and unchanging word, otherwise, I will go to Hell.
I'm at a dilemma, I know I must only follow God, so is Cranky Old Man saying that he is God? I surely hope he isn't because that is a sin and will cast you surely to Hell for eternity.


Praise God for all eternity.

[fourinches]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

You are only here to try and harass us because of your lack of True Christian™ male endowment. Jesus sent you because of your covetous behavior.

Are you trying to suggest that my penis size is small and that I am trying to harass you because of it. I told you guys already of my young age. Continuing to try to get me to tell you the size of my penis or describe it is a sure sign of a pedophile!! I hope that you repent and pray for His forgiveness!!

Bible Student, glad you're studying the Bible! More people need to do that, but I can explicitly read that he is saying he has the power to banish people to Hell and HE IS NOT GOD!
I have already stated that I only follow God's word. Why would I want a Twitter account to follow other people's word? That clearly goes AGAINST His word!

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

James Hutchins, I have yet to, but my favorite is Genesis 1:1. Of course, God is the creator of the universe and beyond and this simple sentence clearly states it if anyone has doubts.
And, I actually have the name because it is a type of car part, and not a reference to a phallus organ. Please do not talk to me or reference such things because of my young age; I would start to assume you are a pedophile, especially if you are trying to reference that I have had sex with or sexual encounters with either of the two.

Why have you no sons, are you a homer? I figure you must be at least 18, as that is the minimum age requirement for forum membership. You're not a liar, are you?

What car part is called 'fourinches' is that something from a yugo or tramblant?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

Hi, everyone!
I was looking around the site and saw Cranky Old Man's signature and it said that I had to follow him on Twitter or burn in Hell! I love God more than anything like I should, and I only follow Him as He is the Absolute Ruler and Creator of the universe and beyond.
I don't want to burn in Hell, so do I have to make a Twitter account and follow Cranky Old Man's teachings? I only follow God's eternal and unchanging word, otherwise, I will go to Hell.
I'm at a dilemma, I know I must only follow God, so is Cranky Old Man saying that he is God? I surely hope he isn't because that is a sin and will cast you surely to Hell for eternity.


Praise God for all eternity.

Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry? I realize you think you are smarter than COM, but he has been around a long, long time and he is trying to share his wisdom with the world. You are willing to bet your immortal soul on the mere factoid that you can go to Heaven without following COM on Twitter, but I am here to tell you that that is foolish! Think of the potential consequences if you are wrong! I am throwing my lot in with Cranky and Jesus because they are going to be in Heaven, rather than throwing my lot in with you for instance, who are going to Hell.

[fourinches]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

James, it is a special piston. Whenever I joined the car forum, they suggested to use the name of my favorite car part, so I've used that name ever since. I couldn't just choose Piston or any brand, because they were taken. I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL! You are trying to get me to talk about my penis, which is very, very, very homosexual. Are you wanting an erotic response or something? It seems like this site is filled with pedophiles that just want me to talk about my penis because I mentioned that I was younger.
You aren't supposed to have bastard children! I have not married, so I have not had children! Do you have sex with everyone you talk to like your actions are suggesting? Are you a sex addict?!

Billy, Cranky Old Man's signature scares me! He is saying that I am sinning if I don't follow him, but if I follow him, then I know I'm sinning against God! I wouldn't just follow him and hope that I'll be safe rather than sorry because I know it's a sin to follow his word and teachings! I can't just hope that he's right because I know that he is not! He is NOT God! Only God is God! He even said so!
If someone told you that you would go to Hell if you didn't buy their car, would you buy their car just to be safe even though you know that they are lying? What about if someone told you that you would go to Hell if you didn't kill your mother and father, even though you are supposed to honor and protect them?! You can't just listen to what others say whenever God speaks louder than they do. I won't set God aside for Cranky Old Man.

[Bible Student]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

James, it is a special piston. Whenever I joined the car forum, they suggested to use the name of my favorite car part, so I've used that name ever since. I couldn't just choose Piston or any brand, because they were taken. I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL! You are trying to get me to talk about my penis, which is very, very, very homosexual. Are you wanting an erotic response or something? It seems like this site is filled with pedophiles that just want me to talk about my penis because I mentioned that I was younger.
You aren't supposed to have bastard children! I have not married, so I have not had children! Do you have sex with everyone you talk to like your actions are suggesting? Are you a sex addict?!

Billy, Cranky Old Man's signature scares me! He is saying that I am sinning if I don't follow him, but if I follow him, then I know I'm sinning against God! I wouldn't just follow him and hope that I'll be safe rather than sorry because I know it's a sin to follow his word and teachings! I can't just hope that he's right because I know that he is not! He is NOT God! Only God is God! He even said so!
If someone told you that you would go to Hell if you didn't buy their car, would you buy their car just to be safe even though you know that they are lying? What about if someone told you that you would go to Hell if you didn't kill your mother and father, even though you are supposed to honor and protect them?! You can't just listen to what others say whenever God speaks louder than they do. I won't set God aside for Cranky Old Man.

I would buy that car if the 1611 King James Holy Bible told me to. Why take such risks ignoring God's breath inspired words? In fact I am going to check what my 1611 KJV says about buying cars right now, in case I missed something.

Since you apparently seem to know quite a bit about cars, can you tell me off the top of your head what the 17th century Jacobean English word for car was? It is OK if nothing comes to mind, I really should practice looking up things for myself.

[John Scopes]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

Relevant data removed for brevity

As long as you can procreate do not let the size of your tool inhibit you. Should any offspring possibly result their survival is dependent on their ability to adapt.

[fourinches]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

John Scopes, you've got the right mindset on the subject! Thanks for posting in this thread!

Bible Student, the Bible does not say that Cranky Old Man has any powers. If it did, I would follow what the Bible tells me to because it is the Absolute Word of God. Bible Student, I don't have the information that you're asking for about the name that cars were given, but before you look up anything about cars, I would suggest looking for Cranky Old Man because I couldn't find him in the Bible.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I'm new and scared! Please help!

It seems like this site is filled with pedophiles that just want me to talk about my penis because I mentioned that I was younger.

When you signed up for this forum, you had to assert that you were at least 18 years of age. Did you lie?

What does that make you? Yes, a liar.

Do you know what God does with ALL liars? (See Revelation 21:8)

Billy, Cranky Old Man's signature scares me! He is saying that I am sinning if I don't follow him, but if I follow him, then I know I'm sinning against God! I wouldn't just follow him and hope that I'll be safe rather than sorry because I know it's a sin to follow his word and teachings!

If you bothered to read the responses in this thread, instead of obsessing over your penis and fantasizing about being lusted after by pedophiles, you would see that Brother Cranky responded to you within five minutes of your original post explaining that his Twitter feed can help people follow God's Will. He does not claim to be able to grant salvation.

Welcome to our friendly forum!

I am not God. I am just a humble servant. If you do anything the KJV1611 Holy Bible says you should be good, with or without following my Twitter feed.

My signature is just a friendly reminder that following my Twitter feed can help you do the right thing.