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  • PrayerIsFun
    Unsaved trash
    • Oct 2008
    • 47

    #1

    Landover, I'm back!

    You are all probably aware that 2 years ago I was sentenced to a 2 year ban to eternal damnation. I'm back and ready for God!
    Revelations 6:16
    "And said to the mountains and rocks,
    Fall on us, and hide us from the face
    of him that sitteth on the throne,
    and from the wrath of the Lamb"
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Landover, I'm back!

    Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
    You are all probably aware that 2 years ago I was sentenced to a 2 year ban to eternal damnation. I'm back and ready for God!
    Better behave yourself this time, maggot.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • PrayerIsFun
      Unsaved trash
      • Oct 2008
      • 47

      #3
      Re: Landover, I'm back!

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Better behave yourself this time, maggot.
      Pastor E, that's quite a collection of boyscout badges you have there. I bet you made it all the way to Eagle Scout. I was in cub scouts as a youth but that's as far as I made it. I decided to join the church and fight for God like a TrueCristian rather than fight polar bears and brownies. And God hates gays.

      Revelations 6:16
      "And said to the mountains and rocks,
      Fall on us, and hide us from the face
      of him that sitteth on the throne,
      and from the wrath of the Lamb"

      Comment

      • Lisa H
        Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2010
        • 5070

        #4
        Re: Landover, I'm back!

        Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
        You are all probably aware that 2 years ago I was sentenced to a 2 year ban to eternal damnation. I'm back and ready for God!
        I will say welcome, I hope you keep your promise.
        Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
        Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
        Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
        Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
        Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
        Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

        Comment

        • PrayerIsFun
          Unsaved trash
          • Oct 2008
          • 47

          #5
          Re: Landover, I'm back!

          Originally posted by Lisa H View Post
          I will say welcome, I hope you keep your promise.
          Has your father married you yet?
          Revelations 6:16
          "And said to the mountains and rocks,
          Fall on us, and hide us from the face
          of him that sitteth on the throne,
          and from the wrath of the Lamb"

          Comment

          • Lisa H
            Proud to be Blonde, Beautiful, and Baptist
            True Christian™
            • Jun 2010
            • 5070

            #6
            Re: Landover, I'm back!

            Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
            Has your father married you yet?
            No, he is with Jesus.
            Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
            Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
            Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
            Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
            Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
            Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.

            Comment

            • barton
              True Christian™ Minister to the Godless Savages in Hawaii
              It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.
              True Christian™
              • Oct 2010
              • 498

              #7
              Re: Landover, I'm back!

              Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
              Has your father married you yet?
              I don't know you but I don't particularly care for your ambiguous language or seemingly-disrespectful tone. Are you asking if she's married to her father? or if her father has found her a suitable husband? Either way, what business is it of yours?
              sigpic
              Revelations 6:16
              "And said to the mountains and rocks,
              Fall on us, and hide us from the face
              of him that sitteth on the throne,
              and from the wrath of the Lamb"

              Comment

              • PrayerIsFun
                Unsaved trash
                • Oct 2008
                • 47

                #8
                Re: Landover, I'm back!

                Originally posted by barton View Post
                I don't know you but I don't particularly care for your ambiguous language or seemingly-disrespectful tone. Are you asking if she's married to her father? or if her father has found her a suitable husband? Either way, what business is it of yours?
                Well if she was married to her father as you seem to be thinking, it would be all of our business to bring to light the err of her ways. But I do not believe this to be the case.

                But as I am a suitable God God loving TruChristianmale and she is a singlefemale, it is my responsibility to make sure she has children to spread the Christianfaith.
                Revelations 6:16
                "And said to the mountains and rocks,
                Fall on us, and hide us from the face
                of him that sitteth on the throne,
                and from the wrath of the Lamb"

                Comment

                • Rev. M. Rodimer
                  Honorary True Christian™
                  Forum Member
                  • May 2008
                  • 13996

                  #9
                  Re: Landover, I'm back!

                  Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
                  Well if she was married to her father as you seem to be thinking, it would be all of our business to bring to light the err of her ways. But I do not believe this to be the case.

                  But as I am a suitable God God loving TruChristianmale and she is a singlefemale, it is my responsibility to make sure she has children to spread the Christianfaith.
                  Seems to me it says there that you're Unsaved Trash.

                  You're not off to a very good start, friend.
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • Lycia The Repentant
                    Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord
                    Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2010
                    • 2019

                    #10
                    Re: Landover, I'm back!

                    Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
                    Well if she was married to her father as you seem to be thinking, it would be all of our business to bring to light the err of her ways. But I do not believe this to be the case.

                    But as I am a suitable God God loving TruChristianmale and she is a singlefemale, it is my responsibility to make sure she has children to spread the Christianfaith.
                    Funny, because I see an "unsaved trash" under your name.

                    Maybe you should think about your own salvation before you start worrying about meeting a True Christian(tm) lady.
                    "Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

                    An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
                    Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
                    My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
                    Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
                    An Open Question to All false christians.

                    Comment

                    • Sister Charli
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2010
                      • 1590

                      #11
                      Re: Landover, I'm back!

                      Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
                      You are all probably aware that 2 years ago I was sentenced to a 2 year ban to eternal damnation. I'm back and ready for God!
                      Actually it was 2 years and six weeks ago. Sounds to me like you are already dragging your heels young lad.

                      I see you lasted 3 days here last time. How long do you think you will last this time?
                      2 Chronicles 7:14
                      14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

                      Comment

                      • PrayerIsFun
                        Unsaved trash
                        • Oct 2008
                        • 47

                        #12
                        Re: Landover, I'm back!

                        Originally posted by Sister Charli View Post
                        Actually it was 2 years and six weeks ago. Sounds to me like you are already dragging your heels young lad.

                        I see you lasted 3 days here last time. How long do you think you will last this time?
                        As long as it takes to make Lisa H my bride. My parents have already offered their home in Boca Raton, South Florida for us to raise our FineChristian™ children.
                        Revelations 6:16
                        "And said to the mountains and rocks,
                        Fall on us, and hide us from the face
                        of him that sitteth on the throne,
                        and from the wrath of the Lamb"

                        Comment

                        • WinnerNotSinner
                          Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
                          True Christian™
                          • Jun 2010
                          • 951

                          #13
                          Re: Landover, I'm back!

                          Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
                          As long as it takes to make Lisa H my bride. My parents have already offered their home in Boca Raton, South Florida for us to raise our FineChristian™ children.
                          Stop harassing the womenfolk, pal.

                          Matthew 5
                          28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
                          6
                          A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
                          "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

                          Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
                          If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

                          GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

                          Comment

                          • Didymus Much
                            Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                            • Jun 2010
                            • 14079

                            #14
                            Re: Landover, I'm back!

                            Originally posted by Sister Charli View Post
                            I see you lasted 3 days here last time. How long do you think you will last this time?
                            I've got five (count 'em) shiny new pennies that say he doesn't even make that long. Who wants some of this action?

                            Comment

                            • James Hutchins
                              True Christian™
                              Just a Regular Nice Guy
                               
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 29456

                              #15
                              Re: Landover, I'm back!

                              Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                              I've got five (count 'em) shiny new pennies that say he doesn't even make that long. Who wants some of this action?
                              I am not going to take that suckers bet.
                              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                              Comment

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