[Cursed]

Re: Greetings

Brother Temperance asked you, "Do you believe you can cast spells? Do you believe you can bend the rules of science with your witchly spells?"

and you replied:

I believe I can, and no, I can't bend science wtih my spells

You can't have your cake and eat it too. Any spell that was successfully "cast" would by definition bend the rules of science.

You're here because you know Hell is real, you can feel it; and you don't want to go there.

A great deal of humanity has gotten soft the past few hundred years, so a vengeful GOD that hates and condemns his creations to Hell seems impossible to one living in the lap of luxury such as yourself.

You sit at your computer and think "how could this be?" while gobbling an entire pan pizza by yourself. "Ha ha they're so stupid" you mumble while taking sips from your 2-liter Big Gulp ensconced in your Snuggie in your heated home filled with pewter wizard figurines. But deep inside, you know. Your nervous laughter can't hide the truth.

But you go somewhere where they don't have air conditioning and hot water and toilets and breakfast cereal and wizard collectibles, or even full stomaches, and they get it. They know the LORD GOD hates the wicked and even punishes the righteous.

He is so impossibly mighty that He can watch every one of us like you would watch microbes through a microscope; except He can see all of us at once, and follow everything we do, and even know what we are thinking!

With that ability, how could He not hate 99% of us? Just think about all of the crap you have running in your head, ad jingles and grocery lists and thinking about your wedding ring and horses; now multiply that times 6 billion people.

My point is, He's not really impressed with you, or anybody, but True Christians™. They are his chosen people, because they follow the KING JAMES BIBLE. The rest are going to Hell; and He's just fine with that. It doesn't make Him sad that you are going to Hell, it's almost a relief to be rid of you. Unless you follow the rules He has laid out; those rules make you bearable to Him.

I am not properly studied in the Holy Word; please remember anything I say can be overruled with love and scripture by any True Christian™ member or Pastor.

I thank you for your time.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: Greetings

I wish we had witch hunts in Ireland. Large scale hunts were (are) relatively unheard of. Although there have been a few in remote areas when the crops fail.

If there were, I'm sure we'd have great fun hunting down satan's whores like vermin.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Greetings

I wish we had witch hunts in Ireland. Large scale hunts were (are) relatively unheard of. Although there have been a few in remote areas when the crops fail.

If there were, I'm sure we'd have great fun hunting down satan's whores like vermin.

A few (3, I think) of my (not direct, but rather theoligically dead end redundant side-branch clan members) ancestors were burned as witches back in the 17th Century. One in Inverness, one in Tyrone (Fedlim Ui Néill, I think he was called) and the other on the Isle of Mull.



I haven't heard of any recent cleansings though.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: Greetings

I think the last one in my part of the world was in the 1711 all they got was pilloried and imprisonment for 12 months.

Perhaps you and I could start our own Witch hunts/trials. Only with the blessing of the Landover Baptist Church elders of course.

[Cursed]

Re: Greetings

Since you must follow secular law, local witch hunts are inadvisable.

However, there are some nice places in Africa where burning witches would be perfectly legal.

Maybe Landover Baptist can throw a lottery for the wiccans for free trips to Africa, then accompany the "winners" on the "safari," which ends in the witches totally legal burning at the stake and the True Christians™ rejoicing in GOD's glory?

Just a thought.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: Greetings

Since you must follow secular law, local witch hunts are inadvisable.

However, there are some nice places in Africa where burning witches would be perfectly legal.

Maybe Landover Baptist can throw a lottery for the wiccans for free trips to Africa, then accompany the "winners" on the "safari," which ends in the witches totally legal burning at the stake and the True Christians™ rejoicing in GOD's glory?

Just a thought.

In the remote and wild north-west of Ireland?

If I chase the witch onto my land then, as a registered shot gun owner, I could execute her as a trespasser. The local Garda Síochana (police) are always sypathetic to local land owners. All I need to do is claim witch defence.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: Greetings

But I wouldn't mind a fact finding trip to the dark country of Africa. Just to see how it should be done by experienced Landoverians.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Greetings

In the remote and wild north-west of Ireland?

If I chase the witch onto my land then, as a registered shot gun owner, I could execute her as a trespasser. The local Garda Síochana (police) are always sypathetic to local land owners. All I need to do is claim witch defence.

Are you in Donegal? Plenty of lonely glens there just like Scotland. I remember going diving in Muff not too long ago and thought it was pretty much like the empty Scottish highlands where God's smiting can be done discreetly.

Plus you have all the heretic fanatics on both sides of the divide there.

I, unfortunately for such purposes, am in rather more densely populated southern Spain.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings

Since you must follow secular law, local witch hunts are inadvisable.

However, there are some nice places in Africa where burning witches would be perfectly legal.

Maybe Landover Baptist can throw a lottery for the wiccans for free trips to Africa, then accompany the "winners" on the "safari," which ends in the witches totally legal burning at the stake and the True Christians™ rejoicing in GOD's glory?

Just a thought.

Local ordinances in and around Feeehold tend to favor True Christian(tm) doctrine. I'm just sayin'...

[Rain Dancer]

Re: Greetings

What did you do to drive your father from HIS home? Is your mother a witch whore?

my mother was christian :/ and so was I until I met my ex-boyfriend

I didn't come here to start any violence, and were I come from that type of stuff is illegal, christian or not

[James Dewitt]

Re: Greetings

my mother was christian :/ and so was I until I met my ex-boyfriend

I didn't come here to start any violence, and were I come from that type of stuff is illegal, christian or not

That explains a lot, you are a bastard child, that rather sad. I mean even if you get right with Jesus, there is not much hope for you.
Deuteronomy 23:2
A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

[Rain Dancer]

Re: Greetings

to your guys standards I wasn't going to be able to get in there anyway. I wasn't a true Christian, I was a methodist

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings

to your guys standards I wasn't going to be able to get in there anyway. I wasn't a true Christian, I was a methodist

It's never too late to repent! Renonce satan! Do it now! BEG Jesus to wash you in His sweet, sweet blood!

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Greetings

to your guys standards I wasn't going to be able to get in there anyway. I wasn't a true Christian, I was a methodist

So instead of bothering to go through the effort of actually following the Bible, you'd rather spit in Jesus face for 80 +/- hedonistic years. Fine, enjoy your eternity in Hell, I'm sure you'll be thinking it was well worth it.

[Cursed]

Re: Greetings

to your guys standards I wasn't going to be able to get in there anyway. I wasn't a true Christian, I was a methodist

Ms. Rain Dancer, it's not Landover Baptist's standards you must meet.

They are the standards of the LORD GOD.

Exodus 22:18 Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Did Landover Baptist write that? No. It's in the Holy Bible.

So don't blame Landover Baptist when you're burning in Hell. If you must blame someone besides yourself, blame GOD.

I know it's not fair, and it doesn't seem right... but He's not concerned with whether or not we think it's fair or right. He told us how to get to Heaven, we can either follow the directions or ignore them.