Hallo

[Goody Jerusha]

Hallo, I am Goody Jerusha. I am the wife of Mr. Solomon and mother to 8 children; 5 boys and 3 girls. We attend Sunday service at Victory Baptist Church.

Mr. Solomon allowed the children and I to go into town to explore the public library. It is full of filth but we did find this techno box on which I am now typing.

As "Baptist Church" was the first thing we looked for, we happened upon your great electric book of truths. There are very few store-bought books at the homestead, we mostly write our own for teaching the children.

Reading your accurate Biblical interpretations has been uplifting to us all and we hope to come back many times.

God be with ye.

Goody Jerusha.

[Brother V]

Re: Hallo

Hallo, I am Goody Jerusha. I am the wife of Mr. Solomon and mother to 8 children; 5 boys and 3 girls. We attend Sunday service at Victory Baptist Church.

Mr. Solomon allowed the children and I to go into town to explore the public library. It is full of filth but we did find this techno box on which I am now typing.

As "Baptist Church" was the first thing we looked for, we happened upon your great electric book of truths. There are very few store-bought books at the homestead, we mostly write our own for teaching the children.

Reading your accurate Biblical interpretations has been uplifting to us all and we hope to come back many times.

God be with ye.

Goody Jerusha.

Welcome, may God bless you and your brood.

YIC
V

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Hallo

Welcome to our Godly forum, friend.

Praise God for 5 children of significance! I trust that part of the home school curiculum is target practice, hunting and deer-gutting? When you are disciplined by your husband, are the boys on hand to learn technique?

In Jesus Christ

[Goody Jerusha]

Re: Hallo

Many thanks for the warm welcome, Brothers V and Harold Porter.

The older boys, Pekahiah and Kelaiah who are 14, are excellent marksmen and regularly provide for the family. Of course at their age, schooling is finished now and they spend most of their time hunting and building furniture for their future wives.

The 12 year old, Gaius, does not enjoy hunting like his brothers and has spent the most time in the whipping hut with his father.

Dorcus and Diklah are 9. Diklah enjoys going on hunting trips with his brothers and Dorcus, being the oldest female, is expected to do all the same chores as I.

The boys are not allowed in the whipping hut when Mr. Solomon is dispensing justice upon my body. He does allow them to practice on their sisters when necessary.

God be with ye.

[terra_godard7]

Re: Hallo

Hello. I'm going to assume that you and your family live on some sort of farm, which sounds exciting. I was raised in the city, so I haven't done a whole lot of farm work (with the exception of a 5th grade school field trip, but even then it wasn't a whole lot).
Nice to meet you.

[Rev. David Stoltzfus]

Re: Hallo

Welcome!

Does your husband have to use the rod on you often or are you submissive enough to only warrant a once a month correction?

Did you ask him for explicit permission to use the computer?

[Goody Jerusha]

Re: Hallo

An unsavory woman has requested my friendship. What is the proper protocol? Do I show humility and charity and befriend this harlot or protect myself from Satan's influence and deny her?

Rev. David Stoltzfus, Mr. Solomon only metes out discipline as is needed and as he sees fit. He uses the bare on bare method.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Hallo

An unsavory woman has requested my friendship. What is the proper protocol? Do I show humility and charity and befriend this harlot or protect myself from Satan's influence and deny her?

Rev. David Stoltzfus, Mr. Solomon only metes out discipline as is needed and as he sees fit. He uses the bare on bare method.

If it is one of the few prostitutes we are trying to save, shun her. Whores deserve no friends and she probably wants money or help with a filthy "double date".

In Christ

[landoverlover]

Re: Hallo

An unsavory woman has requested my friendship. What is the proper protocol? Do I show humility and charity and befriend this harlot or protect myself from Satan's influence and deny her?

Rev. David Stoltzfus, Mr. Solomon only metes out discipline as is needed and as he sees fit. He uses the bare on bare method.

You have a duty to witness to this harlot, as our Lord did. But 'friendship' with a strumpet doesn't elevate your soul one iota, jot or tiddle. The only benefit is that she could teach you some techniques that might please your Godly husband in the bedroom, but it sounds like he's enough of a manly man to demand what he wants from you and get it.

[Goody Jerusha]

Re: Hallo

Brothers Harold Porter and landoverlover, thank you for your words of wisdom. I took your advice and did not befriend that agent of the Devil. I would hate for someone like that to worm their way into my friendship only to influence my wholesome daughters, Dorcas, Gomer and Hagar.

I can only hope nobody would think ill of me here, what with "Unsaved Trash" under my Christian name.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Hallo

Welcome Sister Jerusha!
The "techno box" you are typing on is called a computer. Believe it or not, you can communicate with Christians all over the world from where you sit right now, although sadly there are very few True Christians™ anywhere and most of us live in Iowa. There are a few in Europe and Australia, and of course none in Africa.

You do not how happy it makes me to have an actual Godly woman find our beacon of God's holy light here on the dark and sin laden internets. Is this your first experience with electricity?

[TheLordSavedMe]

Re: Hallo

Hi Goody

Your name is soooooo cute! I wish I had a name like Goody, it just sounds happy and fun!

It's lucky you found this place, because it's the BEST church in the world and it's JESUS'S very favorite on the internet!

Do you always dress like it's ye olden times? Where do you get your bonnets? I wish I had some bonnets like yours. Do they cost alot?

Anyways, welcome to our forum and I hope the Pastors decide you're not an unsaved trash that will burn in HELL really soon, since you seem really nice!





Tammi

ps--I'll be your friend if you want, and it's OK because I'm a True Christian and I won't make your daughters turn into whores!

[Goody Jerusha]

Re: Hallo

Goodsir Professor Bessemer, Mr. Solomon acquired a Faraday's Disk not two years ago. He can read late into the night by the glow of the incandescent bulb and I can sew and knit.

I shall inform Mr. Solomon of the loose women and debauchery I have seen even on this Godly "computer" and let him decide if I may visit again. I am of good and pure virtue with an unshakable faith and he knows this so I may be allowed back.

God be with ye.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Hallo

Brothers Harold Porter and landoverlover, thank you for your words of wisdom. I took your advice and did not befriend that agent of the Devil. I would hate for someone like that to worm their way into my friendship only to influence my wholesome daughters, Dorcas, Gomer and Hagar.

I can only hope nobody would think ill of me here, what with "Unsaved Trash" under my Christian name.

Testify for Jesus Christ and the moniker will soon be gone. You understand that we are visited thousands of times every day by those that would sooner urinate on the Baby Jesus in His manger rather than praise Him for eternal life?

Keep in your walk with Christ

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hallo

Welcome to God's favorite forum, ma'am. I hope you'll share your pie recipes with some of the ladies around here. Some of their pies have gotten a bit....predictable.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.