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  • Edna Mae Thompson
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Feb 2011
    • 2

    #1

    Hello all

    I appreciate you taking the time to read my post. My name is Edna Mae Thompson, and I am returning to the fold after many years spent spitting in the holy face of the Lord.

    My sins have been many and I feel I should confess them before continuing in this forum. My childbearing years have been wasted thus far. Instead of marrying and populating the earth as God commanded, I wasted my time earning degrees and (prepare yourselves brothers and sisters) becoming a public school teacher.

    Humbly, I request that you notice that this post was written during the godless celebration known as the Super Bowl. Watching those strong virile young men in their broad-shouldered uniforms and tight pants is indeed an abomination to the Lord. Instead I am spending my time worshipping here at Landover with you fine people.

    Praise be!
    Edna Mae Thompson
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Hello all

    Welcome to God's favorite forum. Please tell us about yourself, your church, and the path your walked to find Jesus.

    If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

    There is nothing ungodly about the Superbowl. Now run in and fetch me a beer.

    If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

    You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

    Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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