[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Whoa whoa, hold on there cowboy (I know cowboys didn't exist) what is all this about 'arousing'. For the record, I am not willing to go 'family style' on my wife, she may have two hands to hold, but I'll knock the sin out of any man (or woman) that tries to take her other hand. Well, maybe the woman and I could share Sarah.

Yes, profile pictures to come soon, not to worry. I'll see if I can scrounge up some photos from the locker room, I know the coach liked to keep a camera on us at all times to see how team bonding was going, maybe he saved the footage on his computer...

There are really two issues here.

First, you said in your 1st post that she is your girlfriend, and now she's your wife. Is it already getting difficult to keep up with things after only 4 posts?

Tsk, tsk.



Second, sex outside of marriage will earn you an Endless Vacation in Fireland© :

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." (1 Corinthians 6:19)

YiC,

Z. Smyth

P.S. I suggest that you apologize for the Village People-esque "cowboy" slur, boy.

[Scottie P.]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

There are really two issues here.

First, you said in your 1st post that she is your girlfriend, and now she's your wife. Is it already getting difficult to keep up with things after only 4 posts?

Tsk, tsk.

Dammit... Replace every instance of wife with wife-to-be. She remains my girlfriend as of now.



And what's all this about the Village People? Are you aware that the song YMCA is about young men fornicating in the rooms designated for staying the night.

Homosexuality was rampant back then, and in my OH SO humble opinion, I think that all police officers, fire fighters, indians, cowboys and soldiers should take a nice li'l lava bath.
Support our troops!

[Thelma Dixon]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I am trusting that now you can have a girlfriend and computer, so you will very soon be choosing to attend the right church services and marry the girl. There is never a good excuse for sex outside a Christian marriage.

It is best to wait until your girlfriend's final years of school to marry her, so her pelvis is almost finished growing into a childbearing state. Afterall, a natural and pain med-free birth is preferable to a C-section on a young wife (you wouldn't want some doctor in there hindering her chances of building that army, would you?)

Also, remember that Sarah bore Abraham a child late in life, and many of us are now healthy and living long enough to have many children. I had my first at 18, and she is now home doing all of the laundry for the younger ones!

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

There!! See? My future husband used a swear word. If he goes around making mistakes like this, however can I be expected to accept whatever he says? Please help! Jesus saves.

P.S. Scottie, gimme a break. Firefighters and police officers don't need to go to hell.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Whoa whoa, hold on there cowboy........'arousing' + some later stuff about YMCA

I am often called on to play this song, but there's not much you can do with it other than sample&loop a few bits (for comedic effect), mix in a bit of Donna Summer perhaps - then I introduce my own electro-soundFX (South American jungle wildlife theme) and trance it up for a few hours with piano/clavinet chucked in woteva - so I am quite familiar with the words:

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time. . .

(It's fun to stay at the) Y M C A
(It's fun to stay at the) Y M C A

They have ev-er-ything for you men to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys . . .

(It's fun to stay at the) Y M C A
(It's fun to stay at the) Y M C A

You can get yourself cleaned, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel . . .

Young man, are you listening to me?

There is a certain type of young man who, whenever he hears a word like "aroused" immediately starts in with the mental images

and that is often reflected in what he writes.

Do you know anyone like that, Scot?

complete lyrics
here

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

HELP!! Now it is my turn to ask for relationship advice!! /: My husband-to-be went out and got drunk last night, and then went around town in a hazy stupor, running over a few people and burning down several Mormon churches in the process!! This is not godly behavior...what shall I do? Do I leave him, and try to get to heaven on my own? Anything appreciated!

[Bible Student]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

HELP!! Now it is my turn to ask for relationship advice!! /: My husband-to-be went out and got drunk last night, and then went around town in a hazy stupor, running over a few people and burning down several Mormon churches in the process!! This is not godly behavior...what shall I do? Do I leave him, and try to get to heaven on my own? Anything appreciated!

You ask for advice yet so far you have ignored everything we say? The answer to your question is a no brainer. Too bad you are a female and won't be able to figure it out. Blame Eve.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Dear BS,

In what way have I ignored everything you have said thus far? I came here to learn how to be a better, more religious person, along with Scottie.

Also, the fact that you attribute my not-knowing-what-to-do-ish-ness to my gender is completely ridiculous. Maybe if you had implied that my lack of cognitive ability had to do with my age, (twelve) I wouldn't have been so upset. But you didn't! And furthermore, why would I blame Eve? It's not her fault Satan decided to be all tempting-ish. Adam chose to eat the fruit too, ya know, and if we're sticking with your beliefs that women are ALWAYS subordinate to men, it's not like she forced him.

All I want is some advice on what to do!! /:

God Bless,
Sarah.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Adam chose to eat the fruit too, ya know

Sure, blame the victim, you rascal!

Perhaps you should start with reading Genesis?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

. c l i c k
I'm not sure whether anything with the word "mormon" in it could be considered a church?

..perhaps one of the gentlemen will be able to answer that one.

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I've READ genesis. And it mentions nowhere Eve shoving apples down Adam's throat!

Regardless of your opinions on the Mormon religion, that still violates the "Love thy neighbor" quote found somewhere in the bible..Leviticus, I want to say?

But then again, it also says "thou shalt not judge" in the bible, or something along those lines, and there is a whole lot of judgement going on here.

PLEASE. All I want to know, is what to do about Scottie.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

I've READ genesis. And it mentions nowhere Eve shoving apples down Adam's throat!

The Bible, which you clearly never read, doesn't mention any apples. Just read Genesis 2:17 please!

But then again, it also says "thou shalt not judge" in the bible, or something along those lines, and there is a whole lot of judgement going on here.

And again you demonstrate an utter lack of reading anything beyond The Smurfs.

• Leviticus 19:15 "In righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour."
• John 7:24 "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment."
  
• 2nd Timothy 4:1-2 "I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine."

[Sarah, aka Florence]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

The apple is generally used by most religions as a metaphorical way to show that Eve was gaining forbidden knowledge. Sorry.

Regardless, she DID NOT force Adam to join her.

And, COM, nice comeback to the second point. Do I win? I think so. (:

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

Regardless, she DID NOT force Adam to join her.

She seduced him into something that was extremely bad for him. Eve was clearly the very first whore.

And, COM, nice comeback to the second point. Do I win? I think so. (:

It's not a game. You either get serious about these things or it will all end very bad for you.

[Cursed]

Re: Desperately need relationship advice

The apple is generally used by most religions as a metaphorical way to show that Eve was gaining forbidden knowledge. Sorry.

You should be! We follow the Word of God, not metaphor!

Regardless, she DID NOT force Adam to join her.

Where you there?

And, COM, nice comeback to the second point. Do I win? I think so. (:

How could you possibly think you won the second point? First, you misquote the Bible ("Thou shalt not judge," as if throwing a "thou" in there makes it Biblical), then Cranky Old Man kindly takes time out of his busy day to gently rebuke you, showing you just a few of many Bible passages that tell True Christians to judge righteously.

The only reason you could possibly think you won is that you are retarded. I am sorry.