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  • Reborn Vincent
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Mar 2011
    • 6
    #1

    Greetings, fellow believers.

    I discovered this forum today, and I must say this is something I have been looking for. As a quick introduction, I want to say, my name is Vincent, I live in Norway, a very ungodly country. I believe alot in God and Jesus, but sadly, in Norway I can never go to church because they are all closed and being used as museums nowadays. I live in a forest, where I also work. I go around guarding it, making sure noone is trying to start fires or other illegal things.
    Now, I wanted to join the LBC because I have for a long time been looking for a place where I can discuss the bible and the words of God with people sharing my interests.
    If I didn't cover enough, feel free to ask questions.
    Yours in Christ,
    Reborn Vincent.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

      Welcome to God's favorite forum, Bjorn.

      If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • WinnerNotSinner
          Friendliest Fellow in all of Freehold
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2010
          • 951
          #3
          Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

          Welcome to GOD's #1 message board, Hans.

          You sound like you really want to work to achieve Salvation©, that's great! If only more norweegans were like you.

          Tell me Brother, are you a married man? If so is your wife a good, caring person?
          6
          A woman came up to me the other day, 12/6/2016 and said:
          "But Mr. Winner, if GOD loves everyone then why is there so much suffering in the world?"

          Because GOD doesn't love everyone. Too many people have this absurd idea in their heads that GOD is all loving.
          If he was all loving, then murderers, thieves and homosexuals would be waiting for you in Heaven.

          GOD doesn't open his gate to just anyone. Being a True Christian™ is like a Queue Jump ticket at Disney, we are guaranteed a ride with JESUS.

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29457
              #4
              Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

              Welcome Vincent, you the Internets most friendly forum. I am sorry to hear you are a norwickian, what a hellish life you must be forced to live.
              How many sons for Jesus has your wife spurted?
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • Zechariah Smyth
                  Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                  True Christian™
                  • Feb 2011
                  • 15251
                  #5
                  Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

                  Originally posted by Reborn Vincent View Post
                  I discovered this forum today, and I must say this is something I have been looking for. As a quick introduction, I want to say, my name is Vincent, I live in Norway, a very ungodly country. I believe alot in God and Jesus, but sadly, in Norway I can never go to church because they are all closed and being used as museums nowadays. I live in a forest, where I also work. I go around guarding it, making sure noone is trying to start fires or other illegal things.
                  Now, I wanted to join the LBC because I have for a long time been looking for a place where I can discuss the bible and the words of God with people sharing my interests.
                  If I didn't cover enough, feel free to ask questions.
                  Hello Agnetha!

                  Let me ask you this: what do you do if you find someone has started a fire in your forest, but they are doing it as part of an animal offering to God?

                  Yours in Christ,

                  Z. Smyth
                  sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Reborn Vincent
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 6
                      #6
                      Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

                      So many great people, so many questions

                      Tell me Brother, are you a married man? If so is your wife a good, caring person?
                      I am married to my loved wife Elsebritt-Janne. She is a good person, we have been living together for the last 39 years. 40 years anniversary the 6th of June! To add more, she makes the best food ever! When she makes beef, you can smell the food in the entire forest, and she has won the local Apple Pie Contest 17 years in a row!

                      How many sons for Jesus has your wife spurted?
                      We have 11 kids, where 9 are boys and 2 are girls. I have 60 grandsons and 8 granddaughters.

                      Let me ask you this: what do you do if you find someone has started a fire in your forest, but they are doing it as part of an animal offering to God?
                      I have had that trouble. This man came by carrying an animal in a sack. He told me he needed to light up a fire to sacrifice his dead sheep for God. Now knowing whether or not this would have been the right way to do a sacrifice, and I have always wanted God to know I exist, I decided to let him do it. We had a great time sacrificing the animal until the cops came by. I was arrested for 2 months I have been, as I call it myself been "jailed for jesus.

                      I hope I will be accepted by you True Christians™, and will be Salvated.
                      Yours in Christ,
                      Reborn Vincent.

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29457
                          #7
                          Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

                          What are your plans for your thirtieth birthday?
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                            Comment

                            • Reborn Vincent
                              Unsaved trash
                              Under Investigation
                              • Mar 2011
                              • 6
                              #8
                              Re: Greetings, fellow believers.

                              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                              What are your plans for your thirtieth birthday?
                              I'm sorry, I didn't get what you are trying to say? Thirtieth birthday? I am 57 I'm growing old
                              Yours in Christ,
                              Reborn Vincent.

                                Comment

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