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Gidday my steadfast companion's.
I unfortunately reside on an island called New Zealand. This place is known nationally as 'Godzone', or 'land of the long white cloud'. However, I, unlike the heathen masses that infest this squalid hell-hole, know this to be a dirty lie spread by the forked tongue of Satan. This is the devil's zone and the white cloud is merely pollution from million's of pot smoking hippies! A corrupt land, far from the pristine aura of Landover, Iowa.
This inbred country consist's of 2 main islands. The southern island is still mainly populated by the original god-fearing colonists from England, thus remaining quite pious. The north island (where I stand as a pillar of light) is completely the opposite; a so-called melting pot of strange colored infidel's practicing fell voodoo magic and speaking alien tongue. These ingredient's are not melting and simply float around in hard to digest lump's of corrupt lard. This witches cauldron is where my crusade must begin....
I found Jesus when I tagged along with influential friend's to get Baptized. I forgot to take a breath when the priest dunked me; panicked, and thus ran out of air. While drowning, my mind saw a vision of Christ smiling at me from the light at the end of a holy water filled tunnel. At the point I was wrenched from the bowl coughing and spluttering.....that's when I knew I had been saved!!
I now frequent a pentecostal movement called Destiny Church, but fear it may not be hard core enough to guide this undeserving land to salvation before the Rapture. I could not afford the churches $300 covenant ring to enable me to swear an oath of loyalty and obedience, as I tithe 90% of my partner's wage's (forcing her to work 3 job's now) so I could jump the queue when lining up at heaven's door.
I am loathe to quote a beloved bible verse, as I do not wish to concede favoritism with God's word's, but here is one that resonate's continuously in my head.
"Therefore fathers shall eat their sons in the midst of you and sons shall eat their fathers...I will send famine and wild beasts against you and they shall rob you of your children; pestilence and blood shall pass through you; and I will bring a sword upon you. I, the Lord, have spoken."
..........Ezekiel 5:10, 5:17
I thank you for allowing me to introduce myself before the esteemed presence of my fellow believer's, and will step up my crusade to cleanse this infernal region and create holy utopia in the south Pacific. To further this vision, I shall subscribe fully to the Landover teaching's and will take on all pure guidance from my enlightened superior's.
I God I trust,
I.Kiwi
I unfortunately reside on an island called New Zealand. This place is known nationally as 'Godzone', or 'land of the long white cloud'. However, I, unlike the heathen masses that infest this squalid hell-hole, know this to be a dirty lie spread by the forked tongue of Satan. This is the devil's zone and the white cloud is merely pollution from million's of pot smoking hippies! A corrupt land, far from the pristine aura of Landover, Iowa.
This inbred country consist's of 2 main islands. The southern island is still mainly populated by the original god-fearing colonists from England, thus remaining quite pious. The north island (where I stand as a pillar of light) is completely the opposite; a so-called melting pot of strange colored infidel's practicing fell voodoo magic and speaking alien tongue. These ingredient's are not melting and simply float around in hard to digest lump's of corrupt lard. This witches cauldron is where my crusade must begin....
I found Jesus when I tagged along with influential friend's to get Baptized. I forgot to take a breath when the priest dunked me; panicked, and thus ran out of air. While drowning, my mind saw a vision of Christ smiling at me from the light at the end of a holy water filled tunnel. At the point I was wrenched from the bowl coughing and spluttering.....that's when I knew I had been saved!!
I now frequent a pentecostal movement called Destiny Church, but fear it may not be hard core enough to guide this undeserving land to salvation before the Rapture. I could not afford the churches $300 covenant ring to enable me to swear an oath of loyalty and obedience, as I tithe 90% of my partner's wage's (forcing her to work 3 job's now) so I could jump the queue when lining up at heaven's door.
I am loathe to quote a beloved bible verse, as I do not wish to concede favoritism with God's word's, but here is one that resonate's continuously in my head.
"Therefore fathers shall eat their sons in the midst of you and sons shall eat their fathers...I will send famine and wild beasts against you and they shall rob you of your children; pestilence and blood shall pass through you; and I will bring a sword upon you. I, the Lord, have spoken."
..........Ezekiel 5:10, 5:17
I thank you for allowing me to introduce myself before the esteemed presence of my fellow believer's, and will step up my crusade to cleanse this infernal region and create holy utopia in the south Pacific. To further this vision, I shall subscribe fully to the Landover teaching's and will take on all pure guidance from my enlightened superior's.
I God I trust,
I.Kiwi
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